Eating--or lack of

My girls used to be such great eaters.
They could use utensils by 18 months.
At two they ate anything and everything I set before them.
At two and a half their favorite foods were spinach, broccoli and coliflower.
At three they sometimes began to not eat very much or often, but would still eat anything and had a very varied diet for preschoolers.
At three and a half they would sometime refuse some food, but then eat it the next time it was served. They were antys and had trouble sittle still long enough for a meal.
At four we went to stay with my parents in the US for three months so I expected a distruption in the eating habits. The met fast food for the first time (and didn't really like it, though loved that it came with a toy). I would often just have them stand at the table to eat because sitting in chairs was a challenge for these boarderline hyper active kids.
At four and a half we were back in Mexico--they ate lunch at preschool and all reports were they ate well there. But they stopped eating lots of things at home--they used to love salad, now they refused them. They used to eat ANY veggie, now they mostly just ate corn and broccoli. They started taking longer to eat.
For the last two years, they've been moving in that direction and the last six months it has gotten to the point where I can take it any more! They won't eat things they used to love. They won't eat TONS of things and they can sit at the table at meals for more than an hour. They talk and talk and talk at the table--almost to the point of breaking me. They will not put any food in their mouths. They saw the doctor last month on sorry I don't have the conversions, but one weighed 18.5 kilos and the other 19. They are one meter 15 cenitmeters tall--one growth chart I have puts that in the 30th percentile for height to weight. The other growth chart the dept of health uses here says anything under 20 kilos at 6 years old is malnurished. Both DH and I were very skinny ourselves as children--he possibly could have been malnurished--I highly doubt I was. I do not want to make special meals for them--in my house the kids eat what the adults eat--the baby is even on table food now. But they are not eating! What do I do? feed them peanut butter sandwiches three times a day. Part of it is physcological or something because I made homemade pizza this weekend--something I haven't done since before the baby was born--It was a broccoli and mushroom pizza--two things they do still eat--and when I was serving it Bianca declared. "I don't like square pizzas!" I explained that I don't have a round pan, and she begrudgingly ate about half of what I served her scowling the hole time.

What is going on? What happened to my kids who ate so well? Did I do something wrong? Does every kid have to have a picky stage and mine just got it later rather than sooner?
What can I do? This is making mealtime horrible in our house.

 

Do they help cook or meal plan? I would try and involve them in the process if you don't do that already.

Sounds like meals have become a battle and they are winning. You can't force a child to eat. Someone told me once that it is our job as parents to offer healthy options and they will eat when they are hungry. What do they eat at school? Are they snacking during the day so they are not hungry for dinner?

Best of luck!

 

I feel your pain ! If it wasn't for Poptarts and Kraft macaroni and cheese my boys would seldom eat.
Once in awhile I get lucky and they'll nibble a bit on what I make for dinner. Last night they each took a few bites of chicken .. yay !
The school has called me several times to tell me that they don't each their lunch and were concerned that they would be hungry so I have to pack an extra snack for them in case they need it.
But, yeah .. it drives me nuts that they don't eat what I make and I often find myself making them something else for dinner. Plus I try to make sure to make mac and cheese or white rice on the side. They USED to eat mashed potato and a LOT of other things .. but refuse it now. I'm just hoping they'll outgrow this .. soon !

 

It's 2.2 pounds per kilo.

18.5kg is 40.7 pounds
19kg is 41.8 pounds.

I think i'ts 2.54 cm per inch, so 115 cm (1 meter, 15 cm) is 45 1/4 inches

Here is the US growth chart, I'm not sure how different the Mexico/Latin America one would be.

 

Ohh, I forgot some vital meal time information.
They have breakfast before leaving the house at 7.30.
School is from 8 to 1, with no food served, but kids are alowed to eat during the 30 minute recess at 10 am. I usually send them a snack, fruit, yorgurt and a sandwich. Sometimes if we are out of bread or something I send them money, there are stands on the playground selling tacos and sandwiches. But they also sell candy and soda so I perfer not to send them money to keep them from buying candy.
Our main meal of the day is eat at 2pm--the housekeeper has that ready and waiting for us when we get home, so they can't help with the prep--though I do consult them on the planning.
Mexican dinner is light, like quesadillas or something. They eat that around 7pm and go to bed at 8.30.

I allow them to snack on fruit out of the fruit bowl between meals. And they can have a piece of candy from their Christmas stash after they finish lunch.

 

I have a LOT of the same problems with Ainsley. I swear she's existing on water and air sometimes. She barely eats breakfast, will come home from school with one bite out of her sandwich and just her pretzels eaten, then doesn't eat dinner. Lots of "I don't like it." fidgeting in her seat, going to the bathroom during meals, playing with anything on the table (seriously, she will play with her napkin). I'm not sure what her weight is right now. But, she will eat when it's something she really likes, like a dessert, or bread and butter (but has to be the right kind), pizza, chicken nuggets, a few fruits. She will eat ham and cheese, but she takes so long to eat. Breakfast is a constant struggle, especially when we have to be out the door early. So, no suggestions, just commiserating!

 

Sarah is just like that, but she's always been like that (since entering the "picky" stage around age 2) and just gets worse every year. Amy is fairly picky too (I would think Amy was really picky if I didn't have Sarah for comparison), but not as bad.

I thought it was something I did wrong. But I remember some advice you gave me awhile ago when I posted about picky eating, and it sounded like you were doing everything right -- so maybe it just can't be avoided!

Sarah will eat large quantities of the things she likes, and I think that's what's holding her together. Her energy level, behavior, sleep habits, etc. seem fine, so I try not to worry. But I can see her ribs now, and I don't think I could see them a year ago. :unsure:

 

my kids have never had enough meat on them to NOT see their ribs so I don't take that into account...Ian is like this...will NOT try anything new - cries and fusses and gags before it even hits his lips! however if its chicken nuggets, fish sticks, tater tots or pb&j he'll eat until the cows come home...my pedi says not to worry as long as they are healthy and cognitively up to speed then you can't force them to eat....

 

Minette that's what has me upset about this--If you'd asked me when they were 3, or even a year ago--I would have thought I'd done EVERYTHING right. They ate what we ate and only rarely ate convience or junk foods. They ate veggies and that's great because 4 to 6 days a week that's all there is to eat! There are still a few things they will eat well, like egg dishes, but they never eat more than I serve them, so never anything in great quantities. I also tried to just be like this is the food, eat it or leave it. But I looked in their health booklet over lunch and they haven't gained any weight in a year! They are active and Gabby got the highest marks in her class on both her intial evaluation and the first midterm, the second midterm was this week and she was the first first grader to finish the exam. So cognitively, they are on par. (Bianca is more easily distracted and just cares a heck of a lot less about pleasing the adults in her life.)

 

Thanks Bex, so they are around the 25th percentile in weight-per-age and 50th in height-per-age. (I'm only 5'4" myself and DH must be about 5'6")

 

Since you already have those good habits established (serving them whatever you're eating, etc.), I'd stick with that. At least they're used to it -- hopefully they'll come around! And if you start giving in, you'll just have to re-establish those habits later and will probably get a lot of pushback.

I don't think it's that unusual for them not to gain weight. Sarah has been stuck somewhere between 33 and 35 lbs for at least a year and no one seems concerned. (Except Sarah -- sometimes the only way we get her to eat is to point out that she has to be 40 lbs to sit in a booster seat. :ibiggrin: )

 

We went through this with Aaron. When we have dessert, we don't serve it until everyone is finished with their meal. But Aaron would take forever to eat, and it would drive the rest of us crazy. But of course, when he loved the meal, he could eat at a normal pace. It was only when he didn't like the meal that he would dink around. Like you, we've always prepared lots of veggies and limited convenience foods.

So we did 2 things to stop fighting with him about eating.
1. Have them pick the meal at least one time a week. While she wouldn't be there to prepare the meal with the housekeeper, it would still be her creation. Our one rule is that the meal had to include a veggie.
2. When his slow eating got really out of control, we set a timer. When it went off, the meal was over. Period. There were plenty of tears, but he adjusted. It often meant that he skipped supper or ate only one thing off his plate. We tried to make sure that breakfast the next morning was a stress-free meal by having yogurt, fruit and cereal that he liked. He often made up by eating several servings at breakfast.

We also had worries about his growth (which have been resolved for reasons that have nothing to do with his eating habits.) DH is about 6ft and I'm 5'6", so average heights for Americans. Aaron is about the 50% for both height and weight now, but from about age 1-5, he lingered around the 30%, which didn't match his genetics. The stats for your girls seem to match their genetics. Neither you nor DH are tall, and both were thin as children. And in our experience, weight gain really slows down in the school years. In the past 18 months, Jacob has grown only 2 inches and gained maybe 2-3 pounds, and is still in the 30%. Aaron is slightly bigger and heavier. We haven't seen any growth spurts that I always hear people talking about.

 

Honestly, I doubt it's about food preferences at all. They're asserting themselves and being smart kids, they're choosing something over which you have no control.

I've told my kids that they don't have to like everything. They do have to try, though. I've drilled it into their little heads that tastebuds grow and change just like the rest of your body so foods that you didn't like the last time you tried them might taste really good today. You don't know until you try. And then I make it as much of a non-issue as I possibly can if they choose not to eat.

I also do things like having them choose veggies at the store (would you believe they chose turnips last week and then ate them?!) I have them help cook. More involvement = more interest. I also give them simple choices. Again, it's all about them feeling like they have some control so they won't whine at the table to assert their "preferences".

ETA: Are they staying on their growth curve? My boys are smaller than your girls but it isn't an issue because they're growing a normal pace.

 

My girls are lighter than yours but only 5 yrs and 33 & 38 lbs give or take a bit. Our Pedi is not too worried. My 'little ' one also has gained next to nothing over the past year- and yes, you can see both their ribs.


Some of it is age, as PP said- they are making choices and asserting their opinions, seeing what they can and can not do. Food is one of the few things that they have complete control over. Dont make it a battle and simple serve food- if they are humgry , they will eat.

I read a study somewhere that even though kids age 2-9 seemed to eat 'oddly' (all veggies one meal, just bread another, etc) if you looked over a whole week- they tend to balance themselves out.

 

My girls have gone through stages of eating everything in sight to being the pickiest eaters on the planet. At one point Holly wouldn't eat anything red, other than ketchup. I know, weird, but that was her. I have foun that there is no rhyme or reason to what they eat or don't eat. There are even times when chicken nuggets and mac n cheese are not options.

Currently mine have a varied diet. Holly likes the more interesting foods, spinach salad w/ strawberries and balsamic vinegar, buffalo wings, most if not all fruit, but she doesn't like the fruit or spinach cooked. Cassie LOVES baked apples, couscous, but will eat very few things that include beans. Sometimes its a texture issue. There are foods that I love the flavor of, but can't stand to eat, because of its texture. Kids are the same way.

I fully expect that their tastes will change over the next few years, but a wise woman once told me, its unlikely they will starve themselves....until they become teenagers!

 

Thanks for all the encouragement. I let them chose the main dishes for lunch this week. And yesterday they did eat everything--but took a super long time Which may be a cultural difference between my children and me--I'm used to doing almost everything fast fast fast!