Early bedtime if only one needs it? (HSHHC)

I am about to go out of my mind with Ainsley's lack of napping. I have posted about it before, so won't go into it but to sum up, she has not taken a decent (more than 30 min) nap in at least a month. She is clearly tired and the past couple nights, she has been waking at night. This is my sign that I have got to do something about this. I will not let her give up naps at 18 months, she still needs them.

So I finally found my HSHHC book and found what it says about reestablishing naps. The solution calls for a super early bedtime, like 5:00. We are on a 7:00-7:00 day, with dinner usually at 5:30, bath 6:00, then milk sippies and wind-down till 7:00. I have put them to bed around 6:00-6:30 on days when both did not nap well, but have never done as early as 5:00. I guess my "problem" is that for the most part, Bea is a great napper. She normally naps 2-2.5 hrs from 12:30-2:30 or 3:00. So if I am to put Ainsley to bed early, what do I do with Bea? She is not going to be ready for bed at 5:00. And if I put Ainsley to bed by herself, she will need to have dinner at 4:00. How do I give only Ainsley dinner?

Please, if anyone has been through this The book was not all that helpful on how to handle twins in this type of situation.

 

I am about to go out of my mind with Ainsley's lack of napping. I have posted about it before, so won't go into it but to sum up, she has not taken a decent (more than 30 min) nap in at least a month. She is clearly tired and the past couple nights, she has been waking at night. This is my sign that I have got to do something about this. I will not let her give up naps at 18 months, she still needs them.

So I finally found my HSHHC book and found what it says about reestablishing naps. The solution calls for a super early bedtime, like 5:00. We are on a 7:00-7:00 day, with dinner usually at 5:30, bath 6:00, then milk sippies and wind-down till 7:00. I have put them to bed around 6:00-6:30 on days when both did not nap well, but have never done as early as 5:00. I guess my "problem" is that for the most part, Bea is a great napper. She normally naps 2-2.5 hrs from 12:30-2:30 or 3:00. So if I am to put Ainsley to bed early, what do I do with Bea? She is not going to be ready for bed at 5:00. And if I put Ainsley to bed by herself, she will need to have dinner at 4:00. How do I give only Ainsley dinner?

Please, if anyone has been through this The book was not all that helpful on how to handle twins in this type of situation.

 

That is a hard one. I would suggest, if you aren't doing it already, to separate them at bed & nap times. How is she "refusing" naps? Does she cry? If so, for how long? My girls are pretty good at nap & bed times, so they are still in the same room. They play for quite a while before they go to sleep, fine with me. If they happen to cry, as long as I know they aren't sick or in pain, they stay in the crib for about 2 hours. I think HSHHC says that is what to do, you can check. I would not get her if she cries, of course you should separate them before you do it. Have you tried an earlieer nap time? That may work. I do that with the girls sometimes, last week when they were sick. I also go later too if I feel they are doing ok with it. I wish you lkuck with getting the problem solved, it is so hard when they can't be on the same schedule.
I just re-read your post, sorry. If Bea naps well, can you put them to nap later together? Let them nap until 4 or 5? Then the usual bedtiem routine? I would not worry about Bea, my Shelby is the same way, she will nap whenever I put them in the crib, or carseat! I have done the early bedtime thing, with not much success. They ended up waking up a few hours later, had to get them up & go to bed a short time after. I wish I had just kept them u p in the first place! Again, good luck!

 

Ainsley cries and gets hysterical pretty quickly at naptime. Sometimes she will be quiet for up to 30-45 min, then start. Other times it's screaming right away. We even put the video camera in her room to see what she does. It looked like she played for a bit, then laid still (not sure if she was sleeping) and then got up and started screaming.

They nap separately (Bea in a PNP in another room), and sleep for the night in the same room. I could probably separate at night again if I had to, but would rather not. I'm not sure about keep Bea up for a later nap, she can be a big grouch when she's tired. I could try it I guess.

 

I would say separate them for bedtime. I think 5:00 is too early. I think just 30 minutes before she usually goes to sleep. I think it will take a couple of days to re-establish the nap. I think you are on the right track. With your other daughter, just keep her occupied while the trying to get the one on track. Maybe have a special pile of books or a movie on in the other room. I think you could still bathe them at the sametime, just put the one down earlier. Good luck but stick with it!

 

I don't have any advice on reestablishing the nap... But if you are going to try to put Ainsley down earlier, could you do the bath before dinner? That way you could still feed them together at the usual time, but then just put Ainsley to bed right after dinner, and keep Bea up till her usual bedtime.

FWIW, despite what HSHHC says, I haven't found that bedtime has much effect on morning wakeup or naps. But since I have no control over their weekday naps, I can't do good experiments.

 

If I only put her down 30 min early, I think Bea would be fine with that. She might talk or play a little before settling down. I am a bit skeptical myself on putting her to bed super early. I could probably do 6:00 and keep Bea up if I do bath before dinner, hadn't thought of that.
I don't know, maybe I should just put in the earplugs and do CIO. I've got to do something, I was sobbing in the middle of the living room because of this today. She gets so whiny and I could not set her down without her crying. She has got to take a nap!