ds won't come to me

my MIL started this thing when she would hold them she would take my DS and say wanna go to mommy and when he does and i put my hands out she would grab him and say nooooo like a game and run away. she kept doing that until i took them for a bath. she lives downstairs and we made a nice place down their for her. so she coms upstairs and see's them sometimes but for the past 3 weeks i needed help giving them a bath and had to use her sink because we were redoing our kitchen and bathroom so i had no place else to give them a bath. so she played this game of hers with him. now we don't need to go down there anymore since the work is done. the problem is that whenever my dh has him and i am going to take him to change him or feed him he doesn't want to come to me and clings to DH. i have also noticed him doing it with some people on their first birthday party too. is it because of what my MIL did or is it me?i don't mind if he wants daddy i think it is cute but in the same note it hurts that he turns away from me when i go to take him. My DD always wants me and never turns away from me when i go to get her from someone. then again my MIL never did that to her

 

:hug99: Sorry your feelings are hurt but it sounds like he is just asserting his independence and probably playing a bit of a game with you. My kids all go in cycles of who they would rather hold them. Even my 3 year old has a different choice all the time.

 

It is funny you wrote this. My one DD has been doing the same thing on and off. I think she is attention seeking. She seems to do it with those she doesn't seem to see too often and attempts to win their hearts before her sister does. Then it turns into a game. My MIL has never done what you said your MIL does but my DD does seem to cling and attach herself to her. As soon as she leaves she is back to normal. Who knows??? But it too hurts my feelings

 

If I am understanding this - that's not a nice game to play! My feelings would be hurt. I believe she's TEACHING him this! I don't like it but don't know what to do to stop it!

Don't worry, you will always be his favorite and he'll still be YOUR BABY~! :hug99:

 

It could be that he has learned not to come to you because of the game your MIL played. She probably had no idea that she was teaching him not to go to his mom, but that might be the outcome. You might be able to get around this by starting a new game. Have your MIL or DH (or whomever) hold your DS and then you come over and tell your DS 'I'm going to get you, I'm going to tickle you' in a really happy voice. Then go over and tickle him and make him laugh before you pick him up. He might then start to associate having you pick him up with laughter and fun.

I have no idea if this would really work... but it seems to me like it might given how much my one year old daughters love getting tickled and chased.

 

Sounds like an annoying game to me. That being said, my DS is totally into daddy right now. AS a matter of fact, it seems he is into men. He loves his uncle, his grandpa, and daddy! He always reaches for daddy if he is around and cries when I take him away from daddy. At the same time, DD is totally into me right now. I think that they will continue to switch and choose favorites as they grow. I also think that sometimes they just identify with one of your or the other based on whatever they are learning right now.
I would put an end to the MIL game purely for the purpose of it being completely aggravating but I would not be surprised if DS favors someone else for a bit - I think it is natural. You are still his mommy and he knows, ultimately, that you will always be there....another reason why he does not have to hold onto you too tight !

 

i think she was actually teaching him this. not on purpose as she was only playing a game with him but he doesn't know from games to normal right now. i wouldn't mind if he was attached to daddy or just wanting someone else to hold onto because they are there what got me was at his 1st birthday party he did it with people he hardly knew like he didn't want me at all. when we are alone at home he is fine and i get both of them all over me playing jumping on me like i am a bouncy toy crawling over me etc. and i love it. i am unsure how to change his actions but i am also not going to let grandma play that game with him anymore maybe it will just stop.