DS starting a special needs preschool, first separation from his twin

My DS Aidan has some developmental delays and will be starting a therapy group/preschool that meets twice a week from 9am-noon. I am really excited for him to start the program because I think it will be great for him. But I am feeling kind of sad that this will be his first meaningful and prolonged separation from DD. She obviously can't attend with him as she doesn't need the therapy. I am also worried about how he'll react to the separation. They're not super-close twins, but they have never gone to separate activities like this before. Has anyone been through a similar situation? How did it go? Any ideas to help me with this transition for DD and DS?

(I already have a regular play date or mommy's group meeting weekly during one day of the program. The other day I will try to do special "mommy and me" things with DD so she doesn't feel left out.)

 

Our system has a limited number of spots for "normally developing peers". Does your program have anything like this? I think there is a fee for my "normal" daughter to attend, but the cost was really reasonable.

 

We haven't dealt with this, but I wanted to wish you the best - I bet it will be great for them to each develop their own individual sense of self for just a few hours at a time, while still having lots of time to spend with each other in the remaining hours of the week!

 

:hug: I have no advice, but I hope it goes ok! I bet it goes well - it will give them each some alone time, might work out great for them!

 

I taught Kindergarten before the twins and had a set in my classroom. The shyer one didn't blossom as much as I think she would have without her sister but the parents were afraid she wouldn't be comfortable without her. I think she would have benefited from not having her sister there to speak for her. I think every case is different, but that's how I felt about those two. That being said, I think that both your children will relish in their special times. If you make going to school an adventure and something special that he gets to do, he will be excited about it. Since DS will be doing something special with you I don't think she will mind.

 

My twins have been in different preschools (only 2 mornings a week) the past year, but will be going together again in September, because they only have one K1 class. Personally I have no problems with this. My dd is the active, outgoing, very social and charming one, my ds is a little delayed when it comes to speech, more a mommy's boy and a completely different character. I personally believe it helps them to be apart, especially it helped my son to develop himself at his own rate instead of having his outgoing sister there all the time. I am very pro-separating and treating them as different individuals. They were born on the same day and spend 9 months together, but in the end they're completely different and just a "normal" brother and sister. Each person should be able to develop him/herself at his/her own rate, for me that's more important the whole "twin" thing, if that makes sense?!

 

We went through this last fall. DD started preschool for speech and DS stayed home. I started out worried that he would feel horribly left out that Kayci got to go on the bus and to school and he didn't. Totally unfounded. Everyone handled it just fine. Occasionally he'd ask and I'd just tell him Kayci was going to a special class to help her learn to talk. (she goes for speech) This year he'll be the only one home until Kayci gets home about 11 M - Th and I think he's going to love it, honestly. Your attitude about it will make all the difference. It'll be okay! :grouphug:

 

Mine get seperated a lot for things like shopping, or spending time with Grandma, or going on errands with dad...that kind of thing. They can spend hours apart, and are always so happy to see each other again :wub: Considering it's just a couple hours/week, I think they will be just fine. It's actually good for them, in my opinion, to have special time without each other.

 

Hi, I am in the same boat as you but we are waiting for my son's evaluation on 08/31. We will have 2 more meeting after that to see if my son qualify for 'special preschool' through EI. At this time, everyone agree he may have some of "auditory processing issue" and also for speech delay.

My daughter excel and is very normal range for her age. They are with me everywhere I go; however lately my son has separation anxiety (came back). My husband was able to calm him down after I left the house. This isn't the first time he screamed for me. It started about 3 week ago when I had to go out to store a couple times. I worried more for my son for the continue separation issue it would mean that I need to be at his preschool a little earlier to calm him down the first 5-10 mins before leaving him. I may be asking one of my playgroup to watch my daughter while I drop him off. Because I don't want her to be there when she can't come in the classroom with him. They may both be in a meltdown issue.

If my son is confirmed to go I will discuss with my kids every day until he starts. I am not sure how I am going to rephase my telling to both of them yet.

I hope your transition will go smoothly with your DS and your DD. Have you thought of taking DD to a Mommmy & Me Ballet on those days he will be in his special preschool?

 

We did this for a year and a half. Marcus got a lot of "mommy and Marcus" time--which he still relishes! He did wish he could go to school on the bus with Jon, but he also got that Jon had to go to help with his "talking and stop him from hitting and kicking people". Keep it simple, they get that they are different. But make it matter of fact, the more of a big deal you make out of it, the more bothered they will be. They will be fine, and both will blossom in their appropriate placements. Good luck!

 

Thanks for the replies. Aidan starts on Wednesday, so I am going to start talking about what is going to happen with both of them. I know DD will be fine with me, but I kind of worry DS will look around on Wednesday and realize that neither DD nor I are around and then get upset. It's a transition, so I understand it might take a few weeks before he thrives in the new environment. I do think it'll be good for him to experience this on his own without his sister leading the way.