DS is FINE!

I have to get his out...no one to talk to about it which became very apparent recently, but that's another post.

I have posted about my DH and his opinion of our son's development and the fact that he thinks he is delayed in some way. Last night he says to me that the Early Intervention Professional came over and said "yes, there's something there" (reffering to the fact that he could be delayed on some way, just can't put her finger on it).

DH then says " I realy think we should get him looked at, sticking your head in the sand isn't going to help him." (I wanted to punch him)

I ask "what did they recommend?"

"They said they would get back to me."

"Well, what kind of doctor should he see?"

"I don't know, they're supposed to get back to me."

"What is the lady's last name?" (because I was just going to call and ask myself)

"I don't know, her first name is Janet."

OMG!!!! and during this conversation he was texting his friend, ugh!!!

I told him that I am not sticking my head in the sand but he lost his freak Lindia out priveleges when he tried to tell me that due to DS's hypotonia, it could possibly affect his the muscles in his face not allowing him to speak and since the heart is a muscle he could have trouble with that as well. I spoke to the woman that he spoke with and she profusely apologized because she said that none of those things would be applicable to DS and he has a relatively mild case of hypotonia.

Then, another lady came to see DS, this one was an occupational therapist, and he claims she told him that DS has sensory issues which could delay him so much so that he may not be able to keep up when he goes to school and might not be able to go general track. I contacted her and she indicated that is not what she meant and but he should be evaluated for sensory issue, a month later I still have no name.

Now this, he's driving me crazy our son is FINE!!! It seems at every turn if he's not delayed he must have the start of a severe illness or allergy like DH had when he was a child. DS gets a cold every spring and fall. DH says, "he's going to have allergies like me." DH had allergy shots and asthma until he was 14 or 15 and was 92 pounds until he was a freshman in high school.

I tell him not to 'put that out there' which is why I am always saying DS is FINE. He is not on the same pace as DD but he'll catch up. I just know he will.

I hope that DS will prove his father soooo wrong and be the strongest smartest person DH has ever met!

My son is fine,
Lindia

 

:hug: I'm sorry. My dh tends to listen to people at work over me so he keeps telling me things like "they should be sitting by now, right?" (age 6 months) Umm... :headbang:
I wish I had some advice for you. Keep working with your son as much as possible and try not to let your dh get to you. He sounds somewhat like mine. :hug:

 

You probably won't like my response, but, here goes. I would call EI and have an evaluation done. Here is why--if your son has no issues, you will have a definitive answer from a professional, and your DH can stop bothering you about it. If it turns out he can use some help--not uncommon with hypotonia, he can get it now. All research has shown that the earlier a child gets therapy, the greater the long term outcome. There really is no downside to getting an Early Intervention evaluation--no one looses, and in the case where your son may need therapy, he will get the help he needs.

 

I remember your talking about this before, and honestly, I'm a little confused by this post. If your son was evaluated by EI, they should have a specific recommendation for him. Either he qualifies for therapy, or he doesn't. I think you should call the state's EI office, find out who came to your house, and speak to that person yourself, since you're not getting any straight answers from DH. And, I imagine there is some paperwork available, too -- a report, something.

IMHO, if DS has mild hypotonia and some sensory issues, perhaps he would benefit from some therapy. I'm not saying he's not fine, mind you, but as the mom of a son with hypotonia, mild sensory stuff, and some severe speech and other delays, I've found that pursuing as much therapy as we can is really helping my kid. I am confident/hoping that Kevan will be fine and mainstreamed in the long run; in the meantime, he is in speech therapy, oral motor therapy, physical therapy, and we also do some alternative treatments/supplements for him.

I wouldn't rush off to take DS to the neurologist, as you mentioned in your other thread -- first, get some concrete answers from EI!

 

Totally agree---also with Becca (I couldnt figure out how to double quote).

It is a win-win situation. If EI offers services great! Early Intervention is wonderful and many (though not all) kids go on to catch up developmentally. If he does not qualify-great! DH will leave you alone about it and you both will be reassured.

Both my DDs have been through EI. One had PT and OT- starting around 18 month and then off/on until 2.5. She is now developmentally totally on track (or above). EI helped her learn skills that she was not mastering on her own or with our help. My other DD went through EI and also had PT & OT (starting at 18 months) she aged out of EI and is now getting services through the school system- she has made GREAT strides at catching up developmentally. She has hypotonia (and very very mild CP) and sensory issues due to PDD_NOS. The difference in just ages 3 to 4 are amazing and it is awesome to see how much all the EI has done to help her.

BOTH girls are in PreK together. They are doing great and other than one DD gets PT/OT-- you could not really pick them out developmentally from the other 4 yr olds. Only if you were 'looking' for it would you notice DDs 'quirks'.

One side of my family insisted that they too were 'fine'- and they are, but I knew that there were areas of developmental early on that they were not hitting on time. They are wonderful walking talking laughing 4 yr olds. But both benefitted from EI services- and one has gotten services from the schools. We fully anticipate that both will go through general education classes.

I agree w/ PP. Call and get your information straight and take it from there. You, DH, and your DS have nothing to lose.

 

Thanks ladies. I will call tomorrow and get someone on the phone to get DS evaluated. You are right, it won't hurt anyone to get DS looked at.

Even if he does needs some help we will give him every opportunity within our grasp to suceed. DH drives me crazy with the dooms day scenarios.

Hopefully I'll get some answers.

Lindia

 

I'm confused too... If someone from Early Intervention really came, they would have stayed 2 hours and left a TON of paperwork with their comments on them... which your dh could show you. So I'd definitely have a talk with him, but agree to ask Early Intervention to come for real if they haven't, even if it's just so he leaves you alone... If he doesn't qualify, your dh will stop pestering you, and if he does, he'll just get some help so he can catch up faster.

 

So sorry you are dealing with this.

I called EI when the boys were about 13 months because Jacob wasn't walking. :blush: I was an overly concerned new mom... and he walked for the first time while the lady was there! :rotflmbo:

Anyway, when she came, she stayed for about an hour (for 2 kids) and then told us that she would get back to us to let us know if they qualified for the next step (which would be a team of professionals who do a very in-depth investigation)... but also gave us a tip that neither would really wouldn't qualify because they didn't have any needs at that time. So, if your state works like ours does, it would sound reasonable that DH is saying they would get back to him. However, there is indeed a ton of paperwork that they leave.

I do hope that you are able to get some concrete answers, one way or another. :hug:

 

Hugs to you. I can not imagine how difficult it would be to have DH constanly crying wolf. My DH tends to reel me back in when I get out there (which I do not think it that much!lol) But if you follow up with EI you can either get youLO help or (in a rational and supported way) tell DH to stuff it! hahaha.

I have a friend that has the opposite problem. She has a 3 y/o that she has had diagnosed with Asbergers and is working with EI the school and whoelse she needs to to get him therapy. HER DH just is not getting it. Every time he sees something with sensory issues or IEP on it he grills her and ask why she insists on trying to convince everyone that there is something wrong with their son. Mind you he has been to the school program, and a pediatric specialist and is in the therapy program, but it is all in her head.

Not to say it is not frustrating. But, he is trying to help your son. Good luck to you.

 

:hug: I am glad you will be able to put this to rest in one way or another! It can't hurt and as a Mom, this is what we do - right? :hug: Keep us posted!