DS has a hard time adapting to new people and environments

I understand that some kids are just shy but I can't keep from noticing that Noah is a bit scared of MANY things and especially new people and places. It used to be if he heard a vacuum go on or a drill or the blender he would FREAK out. Now he needs to be re-assured but is curious at the same time. We were out for a walk with the twins today and we stopped to chat to a family down the street who has a daughter (singleton) the same age as ours. She was chatty, and outgoing and cheery. Noah looked everyone over and started to scream. Only when DH wheeled him off a bit did he calm down and look at the people. The little girl came up to him and it went better but man oh man. My DD doesn't get freaked out but she is super cautious and isn't outgoing with anyone but her immediate family and caregiver.

It's so weird because there is this dichotomy. At home they are obviously more relaxed but i wouldn't say they babble a whole lot. Noah is SUPER needy a lot and WHINES and WHINES and WHINES about half the day. Sophie is WAY more independent but like I said very analytical and cautious about people but totally adventurous when on the slide or stairs or swings etc.

Should I be worried? what can I do to help them adjust more to social situations? We're going out to lots of places now, we are starting more regular play-dates (I think maybe we didn't do the kiddy interaction enough before).

Thanks

 

You just described William. I recently joined a gym and have him in the daycare there 3 mornings a week and although it was tough at first, he would cry a lot, he has gotten A LOT better socially. Nathaniel is like your Sophie. Very social.

 

Oh and when we are out, if someone comes up to him and starts talking to him he freaks, but if people leave him alone and let him go to them he is fine. It just takes him awhile to warm up. The load noises though would worry me, he may have a sensory issue, you can talk to his Doctor about that if it really concerns you.

 

Both of mine were like that...now at 2.5 they adjust so easily to everything!! Give it time.

 

My DH's niece was a lot like that when she was little - she would freak out about lots of things, even stuff like the heat pump kicking on. She is now 10 and doing just fine - she has lots of friends, very social, etc. So I don't think I would worry too much - just keep exposing him to new things and don't overly shelter him and he will probably be just fine in the long run.

 

My older dd was like that, even with family. Really the only place she was truly comfortable was at home. Out in public, or at family gatherings, she was extremely overwhelmed. Her "rescue" was her paci, she *needed* that paci to calm down when she'd get overwhelmed, otherwise she'd just sob and scream and cry her little heart out.

Now, at 4.5, I can't get her to stop talking to strangers! :laughing: She's did have her paci a bit longer than I preferred because she was so attached to it, she was 3 when we finally got rid of it, and even now when she gets upset sometimes she just needs to go into her room for 5 mins to calm down, but otherwise, she's very outgoing, not shy at all, and doesn't get overwhelmed nearly as easily.

 

My boys are both introverted. But so are my DH and I. It doesn't bother me. They are who they are. As long as they learn to be polite and the social graces I'm fine if they are more sideliners.

They both take a long time to warm up in new situations. Sometimes they don't warm up until we are leaving.

We don't keep them home or from new situations. We support them as they warm up. In situations where a person seems agravated by them being stand offish we speak up for them and explain that they need tome to warm up.

Pressuring them just makes it worse.

They both attend pre-school three days a week. I take both to playgroups and gymboree. So it isn't a matter of getting them out more. It is just how they are programmed at the moment.

 

I think the best thing you can do is make a concerted effort to get him out and about as much as possible, and to be sensitive to soothing him when you see something that might be upsetting (e.g. strangers coming over and oogling at him). But I wouldn't WORRY - this sounds like normal stranger anxiety.