Double Timeouts

I'm really struggling these days with my boys (a big part is my own health but that's a different topic). They're only 16-1/2 months adjusted but I'm trying to do timeouts. They'll do things they know are a No-No so I try to sit them down on a step next to me and set a timer for 1 minute. I can't find a timer that will just do one minute then ring. Plus, while kid 1 is in timeout, kid 2 always goes and does whatever kid 1 did. Or they both need time out at once. They're really into climbing on me and biting me, and I'm trying to detach one kid, whose teeth are biting a bruise into my leg, while the other is happily biting my arm. They rarely bite each other or anyone else, just me. When they've been biting me, I usually just get up and leave the room, leaving them in their 'safe zone' where they can see me but can't get to me over a half-wall. But I don't want them to think every time I leave the room, like to cook, is a punishment. I've also tried the Happiest Toddler method but they think the growling, frowning and clapping is hilarious. How do you do double or overlapping timeouts? They won't sit anywhere for their timeout without me putting them back again and again and with two that just becomes a great game for them. I can't put them in their room for timeouts because that would usually mean carrying each kid upstairs and I don't want to do that twenty times a day, plus I don't want them to hate their room. Besides, if I put both in there, they'd have fun. DH says that I'll just have to discipline one and discipline the other 'next time' but that doesn't seem to send the right message either.

 

You know, I haven't started TOs for my guys yet because they really aren't ready. I've tried it, but they don't get that it's a punishment; they just think it's funny. ardon: What really has worked for most of the second year has been redirection and walking away. If they hit me, I say "no hitting, or I'll put you down (or walk away)" and if they continue I follow through. If they throw toys, the toys go into timeout. If they hit each other, I make them say/sign "sorry" and give the other lots of attention. If they stand on the coffee table, I tell them to go and show me how they can bounce on their chairs.

I really don't think walking away from them when they bite you sends the wrong message. They can read the difference in your tone, and understand your words. So when you leave as "punishment" they will know the difference between that and when you go to cook dinner.

I've found this is a really tough age for discipline. I hope you find something that works for you!

 

My youngest is about 18 months and we don't do timeouts for him yet. Like Valerie we do redirection.
When he bites I say "NO, OUCH!! That's not nice." Then I put him down or walk away and ignore him for a minute or two. For us biting is one of those things that I can sometimes see coming. Or I know what sets it off, look for triggers and try to counteract them before they do it.
Good luck and I hope you're feeling better soon!

 

This is a tough age to discipline. When my kids would bite me, I would tell them "No, that hurts Mommy!" and pretend to cry. I did do TO's on my lap for a minute starting at 18 months. I think in your case, leaving the room is a good idea, especially since they are doing the biting at the same time.

 

we're still going through fun times! but what I wanted to add is that I usually do TOs in their highchairs/booster seats so that I can strap them in. 18 mo. is too young to expect them to stay seated somewhere by themselves and at least strapping them in keeps them away from what you want to, and it keeps them safe. good luck!!

 

[quote name='Nate and Jack's Mom' date='09 August 2010 - 02:38 PM' timestamp='1281379133' post='1678003']
You know, I haven't started TOs for my guys yet because they really aren't ready. I've tried it, but they don't get that it's a punishment; they just think it's funny. ardon: What really has worked for most of the second year has been redirection and walking away. If they hit me, I say "no hitting, or I'll put you down (or walk away)" and if they continue I follow through. If they throw toys, the toys go into timeout. If they hit each other, I make them say/sign "sorry" and give the other lots of attention. If they stand on the coffee table, I tell them to go and show me how they can bounce on their chairs.

I really don't think walking away from them when they bite you sends the wrong message. They can read the difference in your tone, and understand your words. So when you leave as "punishment" they will know the difference between that and when you go to cook dinner.

I've found this is a really tough age for discipline. I hope you find something that works for you!
[/quote]


Like Valerie, I haven't done TO's yet because I don't think they are old enough to associate the punishment with the action. All they know is they are in TO (whether it's in your arms, or in a chair, or in their bed) for XXX mins, and then it's back to playing.

We also do lots of redirection, but if it's repetitive wrong behaviour that I can't remove (like banging toys on the tv or something), I'm not averse to hand slapping. A stern "NO NO NO", "No SIR", or "EH EH EH" and a slap on the hand usually works for us.

My ds has been biting, but he seems to only do it when he gets really excited and is playing with us. So far I just yell "OUCH NO BITING" and it startles him, but like I said, he's not really doing it to be mean, he gets so excited he just bites. This is my first child to bite so I really have no great advice on what to do yet, i'm still trying to figure it out myself.

This is a horribly hard age to discipline because they are too young to understand the association of action = punishment, but you have to do something so they aren't out of control once they get older! :hug: