don't you hate it when..

someone asks you what you are having and when you respond "twins", a lot of people automatically say "wow, your going to have your hands full" or "I just don't know how your going to do it", or my favorite on is "better you than me, I could barely handle one!" <_< Sometimes their face alone says it all. I just want to tell those people that millions of women have had twins and survived and thrived!!!

I know that God would not give me something I could not handle and feel blessed to be carrying my two baby boys.

 

I always disliked those comments... and actually got a little scared since I was a first time parent. :blush: But many have done it before and you will do it great. :good: I think people need to say something and that's what comes to mind. :huh:

 

Interestingly enough, whenever I tell people I am having twins, they light up and just grin and get SO excited for me! And they are perfect strangers! Just today at Target, a man in a business suit asked what I was having (after having commented on how friendly my son was) and when I told him "two girls", he just about hugged me! He was so excited for me! And honestly, that's the reaction I've gotten from everyone so far. I do anticipate getting those other comments once the girls are here, so I'm not going to assume I got out lucky just yet!

 

I think it's funny when people try to tell me that I'm going to be so busy this fall - I just reply that once they're here, I won't be busy at all - but their parents will be! (Then I explain the surro part, lol!)

 

I really hate those comments and now I get "double trouble" when people see us out. I just always said that I felt I was lucky.

 

I get alot of "wow you are going to be huge during the heat of the summer!"

 

I have received a lot of those comments, but they are always from the parents of singletons.
All of my interactions with parents of twins have been amazingly encouraging so that really makes me feel better.

 

Yeah...I think that's what makes alot of mothers keep a distance from certain people (at least that's how it was for me) Because I think that is such a negative response. But what I have found is that those type of people who make those sort of responses either...don't like kids, have kids that are out of control, have bad experiences with their kids (father not present so they are resentful of children),or simply just don't know what to say. That is what I get from those kinds of remarks. Early on"those remarks" because I was feeeling sensitive..would feel like negative vibes..and then gradually I learned how to respond to alot of scenerios which would also teach them something in the process.For instance..when they ask what are you having...I would say twin boys...and then they would say the "ohhh you gonna have your hands full" or "ohhh double trouble" or "better you than me..oohhh lord" I would respond.."yeah my hands full of blessings" (kindly)or I would respond..."no..I see it as a double blessing-I love children" or " I wanted children and God blessed me with two...I can not wait to be a good parent!" And that my dear...would push all of those negative vibes/remarks back at them. Sometimes I would just bubble with how excited I am about my pregnancy or other times I would just leave the conversation alone dependant on where the remark came from.

 

I can completely sympothize I work with a girl who is expecting her second child. She felt the need to tell me all the risk of having identical twins!! She commented on how small I am and how I would most likely end up on best rest and have to have ceaserean. I would come home so pissed off sometimes. Oddly enough she went to half days at 16 weeks and was put on bedrest for the last 8 weeks of her pregnancy......I wouldn't wish bedrest on anyone but can you say Karma!!

 

I have found that I haven't told alot of people because I don't want to hear the comments or the negative reactions. Most of the people that I have told are really excited, but I'm also early and not really showing either (I can still hide it).

I have had one comment which has been mentioned in a previous post of "better you than me" and I said right back to them, "Yeah, It is better me than you!".

We have a 10 month old son and I know that the reactions of others aren't going to be all that pretty but I guess I will just learn to shut them out.

 

I'm used to those comments since these are babies #6 and 7, lol. I like to see the looks on people's faces on the rare occasion when I'm out alone and they ask if these babies are my first pregnancy and I tell them that I already have 5 more kids at home :rotflmbo: .

 

Nheree - I can only imagine. I know the looks on people's faces when I answer the "oh, are these your first?" No, they'll be my 4th and 5th.

I think if twins happened to many of the commentators, they'd do as we do - go thru a period of 'shock', then realize they just have to make it work, and you do what you have to do!

 

Instead of quoting so many of you I will just say me too! And that I was ROFLMBO at so many of your posts. I have an almost 1 year old and so yeah I get the whole "wow will you be busy" ummm yeah I KNOW! And Tammy (surrodoula) I had to LOL at your post! But yeah some people just don't know what to say I think and then there are those who are ahem...special .

 

I get these comments a lot even before I was showing. I have 3 boys. I actually had an old lady say "You got enough kids?!" I walked up to her and said "Actually, no, I'm pregnant with twins..."

I get the "you've got your handsful" comment all the time. I don't even acknowledge that they are talking to me any more.

 

I can't tell you how many people have said things like "Oh, I'm so sorry!" How about being sorry about the 6.5 years of pain heartbreak it took me to get pregnant with them?

My favorite is..."Wow, you know, your life is really going to change!" YA THINK??? I try to politely say "I am very aware of that and I can't wait."

 

you'll be fine, just keep up the positive attitude. i've found that having twins is great for my confidence and self esteem because i feel like i can do anything. the first everything is scary (first day alone, first time out), but once you do it and survive, you'll feel great.

 

When I was preggie with the boys I always tried to shrug off the comments. I usually just smiled and walked away. I hated the dont you have enough kids comments tho. I always said, yep god thinks were great parents so he keeps giving to us.

 

I got tired of explaining to strangers so i took when people would ask what i was having, my response would be "girl" (singular) just because it was soo much easier then going through it all to the person who was checking me out at the store.

but then again i am a shy person by nature so i didn't really like talking to random people and listening to all the "your going to have your hands full" stuff..

 

Ive been lucky that most people have responded really well to the whole twin thing and get all excited. Ironically it was my family i got the most crap from, go figure. I have gotten the "dont you have a tv at home?" comment though to which i responded that we dont have one that gets tv stations and they got all bug-eyed (apparently some people cant imagine life without spending their nights rotting in front of a box). To each his own.

 

QUOTE(ChaoticMum @ Jun 3 2009, 03:31 PM) [snapback]1339195[/snapback]
Nheree - I can only imagine. I know the looks on people's faces when I answer the "oh, are these your first?" No, they'll be my 4th and 5th.

I think if twins happened to many of the commentators, they'd do as we do - go thru a period of 'shock', then realize they just have to make it work, and you do what you have to do!


This made me smile because I just watched the season finale of Desperate Housewives where Lynette found out she's having another set of twins, which will make her 5th and 6th kids. She and her husband just sat openmouthed on the sofa when she told him the news. I can totally picture your face when you found out.

 

At this point I am so tired of the negative comments like "wow that sucks!" and "do you know how hard that is going to be" that I don't even tell people its twins anymore. Like Sisrea, I just started saying I'm having a girl (not two girls). Now the comments about how it looks like I'm about to pop are really starting to bug me too and I would just love to say "THERES TWO IN THERE!!!!" Its getting to the point where I don't want to go out in public anymore. Not bc I'm miserable but bc I'm tired of talking to people and hearing negativity!

 

QUOTE(lorin @ Jun 4 2009, 08:22 AM) [snapback]1340789[/snapback]
At this point I am so tired of the negative comments like "wow that sucks!" and "do you know how hard that is going to be" that I don't even tell people its twins anymore. Like Sisrea, I just started saying I'm having a girl (not two girls). Now the comments about how it looks like I'm about to pop are really starting to bug me too and I would just love to say "THERES TWO IN THERE!!!!" Its getting to the point where I don't want to go out in public anymore. Not bc I'm miserable but bc I'm tired of talking to people and hearing negativity!


I'm so sorry you girls are getting such negativity! like I mentioned before, I am getting the EXACT opposite reaction...and I live in California, not some Amish community or something, you know?

Again, at the store yesterday, a woman just gushed when I said there were two and said she was so excited for me and how lucky I was!

 

Most of the time everyone laughs, and tells me I'm making up for lost time. But, I've got the,"Oh boys?! Oh you are going to have so much on your hands!"

My response is usually-
I got exactly what I wanted!
Girls can be so prissy. (That one ticks them off!)
Now, I only have to worry about two penises, and not 200! (From my hubbys coworker who has 5 daughters)
I'm so proud, because now my husbands family will continue on. He's the last son.

We already knew from years of being childless that people are mean, rude, and think they have to voice their opinion/advice without invite. Try hearing the sick ideas and hurtful things people say then.
Everyone always said my husband should be a daddy. Nobody really realized he would get mad at this. He'd respond," Yes, and my wife will be a great mom!" Always got some looks for that one.

I've learned to just ignore most folks and walk on. We aren't sharing my pregnancy with everyone so that keeps alot of it to a minimum. Anyone that gets too mouthy we just remind them that it's not their business and walk on.

Btw. A very good friend sent me this link. Beware, it's got attitude!
http://www.cafepress.com/evilgeniusstore/1993389

 

I didn't get a lot of those comments when I was pregnant, mostly very encouraging. I work as a bank teller so obviously I come in contact with a lot of people. There were two comments made by two customers while I was pregnant that at the time made me want to reach over the counter and smack them. I laugh now, but at the time and with my hormones, they were not too funny. One customer told me my father was not happy he was having two granddaughters, that he really wanted grandsons. My dad has three daughters and no sons, so two granddaughters according to this person, were going to upset him. Riiiiiight.....

The second one was one customer asked me what I was having and I told him two girls. He said, oh no, you have to try and have a boy later because unless it's a boy and a girl it's not a family. Oooookay...because by having two girls I must have a fake family? Really, some people...

 

Today I was at Costco and an older man said that I had a good looking group of boys and asked me what I was having. I told him a boy and a girl and he said God bless you (in a nice way, not sarcastically). It made me feel so good! Just thought I would post a positive experience

 

QUOTE(sparkle77 @ Jun 4 2009, 08:09 AM) [snapback]1340555[/snapback]
This made me smile because I just watched the season finale of Desperate Housewives where Lynette found out she's having another set of twins, which will make her 5th and 6th kids. She and her husband just sat openmouthed on the sofa when she told him the news. I can totally picture your face when you found out.



Oh yah - the open mouthed shock, the semi-hysterical laughter....I asked the u/s tech if she was joking and was informed (in a humorous way) that they don't joke about things like this! LMBO I then drove home trying to figure out how to tell my husband, who only ever wanted 2 kids, that we're going to have FIVE! LOL


Someone mentioned getting flack from the family - us too. We got teased when they found out we were pregnant and expecting what we thought was just #4 - we got asked many times if we needed help with the Big V, and how my dad could take care of that like he does with the cattle etc etc etc.

 

My friends and family's comments are the ones that are really getting to me. My mom thinks it is going to be soooo difficult ( these were the comments she made before we found out it was twins ) She asks how are you going to handle it and it is going to be so rough on you...ugh then we find out it's twins and she becomes obsessed with them. It is really annoying. and then she tries to tell me that I need to get rid of my dogs because they will be too much to handle. She doesn't believe me that all they do is lay around and sleep. and she keeps saying, Oh you better be done having kids now. ugh, people have big families everyday and handle it just fine ! ugh it really bugs me ! I hate the you will have your hands full comment, well yes but I think I know what I am getting in to

 

Shannon, I hear you. I know my parents concerns come from love, but I also got a few comments about how maybe I shouldn't put my 4yr old in preschool since that means getting him and two babies ready in the mornings to get into the truck and go. I just said how I did it for my 3yr old when HE was a baby - I had a 3yr old, a 16mth old and the baby and the 3yr old never missed a day because I couldn't handle it. I had THREE to get dressed - this time the 4yr old can dress himself and I have only the duo!

I know it comes from love when it comes from my family (well, the wondering how I'll handle it parts - the comments about how we can prevent these pregnancies from happening are pure teasing).

 

My co-workers are the worst with their implications that twins are caused by too much of you know what...uhhh hello it's not like it takes doing it a million times in one day to make twins...it can come from one time ya know! Being preggo with twins doesn't mean you were any more "frisky" with your hubby than other people who are pregnant with only one LOL! Seriously they are so dense sometimes. But I guess they need a laugh.

And uh yeah one guy kept asking how many it takes before it's considered a litter????? OMG! I about climbed over the lunch table to strangle him! That is the worst one, even if it was meant in humor KWIM.