Don't Let ______ Get Me!

And yes, they have been terrified of all the things I listed. I think the funniest was the alarm on my husband's phone. I'm wondering if any of you have kids who are afraid of EVERYTHING and how you went about helping them. We've tried just convincing them that the things either don't exist (monsters) or can in no way harm them (alarms) and we've tried acknowledging them but saying we "got" them and beat them up and threw them out the door. Neither works for any extended period of time. It's like they're always on edge. If we hear a car horn or a tree scrapes against a window they gasp, jerk their heads around and frantically say "what's that?!!" Ok, it sounds pretty funny but I'm wondering if it's normal and if you have any suggestions as to how to help them relax a little and not think everything in the world is going to get them!

 

How old are they? I think there's a period in toddlerhood and early preschool when they start becoming aware of so many more things in the world, and learning the concept that unexpected things really can happen and that there are things to be scared of out there. And for awhile, they are scared of everything, particularly if they're sensitive by nature. (I have one who is much more sensitive than the other -- startles at loud noises, can't stand to be scolded, always worried that the car will break down, etc.)

I don't have any great suggestions for how to deal with it beyond what you already listed! But I've found that it gets better as they get older and learn more about the world. They start to have a better ability to sort out situations and figure out which ones are truly scary and which ones aren't.

If it doesn't get better, then you may want to look into some sort of counseling for them. From the way you describe it, it sounds normal for that age, but if it continues to be a big source of stress for them as they get older, and you feel like they are spending their whole lives worrying and being anxious, there are probably some things that a therapist could do to help. Or at least poke around on the internet for chat groups for parents of children with anxiety...?

 

Thank you! They'll be 3 in June and what you're saying makes a lot of sense. I think they really are just trying to figure things out these days.

 

Our kids are the same age and right now we're dealing with irrational fear of LADYBUGS! They've been coming in the house a lot lately and the girls make me do a full ladybug room inspection before bed every night. They also get scared when they hear airplanes flying overhead. I just try to reassure them that ladybugs are friendly and nice and there's no need to fear them. I hope this phase passes quickly!

 

Aiden went through a HORRIBLE irrational fear phase. I even took him into the Pediatrician for it because I was convinced the child needed therapy. It was last summer, so he was almost a year younger, but it seemed like it lasted forever. For him, he was deathly afraid of motorcycles, buses, garbage trucks, & lawn mowers. Yep, pretty much everything you see when you're outside. The fear of motorcycles made us leave a zoo once because it has a road nearby that motorcycles kept going down & he FLIPPED. We'd be outside in our backyard, where he couldn't SEE any of those things, yet if he heard them, that was it. Inside we went. I'm telling you, it ruined our lives at the time !

We bought toys of everything he was afraid of & he happily played with those. We read books about those objects. We talked about it, NON STOP. We'd see him TRY to work through the fear, white knuckled clutching to our pants, chanting "NO OWWIES" when he saw them. And we tried our best to avoid those things CLOSE UP. During this time, he had heightened sensitivity to everything, but especially things with loud sounds. I recall an ambulance passing us one the road one day leading to a hysterical outburst from the back seat.

Then winter came & we were inside. Believe me, I was PETRIFIED of what this spring would bring, but all is well! I can see some hesitancy towards loud things & the things that scared him last summer, but VAST improvement! I about died when he walked past a parked motorcycle yesterday!

That being said, he still is sensitive. He still freaked out when the nice police man tried to show him his squad car & so 'kindly' turned on the sirens (yep, he still talks about those loud sirens & that was over a month ago). But, much better. Now it seems to have turned towards bugs. They're cool as long as they aren't ON him. Then watch out! Yikes!

So, I hope & pray it's just a phase for you and that it's short lived. I don't know what I would do if BOTH of them were like that (thankfully, Conner only briefly started to catch on to Aiden's fears, but it never progressed). I really think the toys & constant talking about things helped Aiden.

Good luck! I recall very clearly how horrible it was, so my thoughts are with you!!!!

 

I have found mine have hit that "fear" stage over the past few months. And, for us, I find the more I cater to it and react with reassurances, the worse it got for us. Now, everytime I hear an airplane (which use to make them BOTH hysterical), I say, "wow, cool an airplane, can you hear it, I bet its flying really high in the sky, who can find it in the sky?". This took us a few weeks of saying this, but now everytime they hear an airplane, a lawnmower, a motorcylce (which all used to scare them into tears), they say "oh cool, what is that?".
I also would tell them what each thing did, and that also seem to help. I would say "look at that man on the motorcycle, that helps him get to where he is going quicker, and what a nice blue helmet he has on, good thing he is being safe". I think it took a few months, but we pulled through most of their fears of loud noised things (haven't hit the monsters scare yet, not sure we will handle that one, so I am looking forward to the advice here!).

Good luck

 

I could have written this post! My girls have been (and continue to be, to some extent) scared of the weirdest things. The big ones so far have been coyotes, alligators and dinosaurs.

If you haven't already tried it, you need to make up some "coyote spray" (or whatever name you need). Then take that bottle and assist your kids in spraying all of the doorways and window frames so that none of the scary things can come in. This is the only thing that worked for us for any length of time.

 

Ok, I feel much better knowing we're not the only ones. Tricia I like that idea about the spray. We may have to try that one. I think we do need to make sure we downplay it as much as possible as some of you suggested. I just hope they don't discover the Boogie Man any time soon.

 

God, I'm so glad that you posted this...we are going through this now with dogs, santa, easter bunny, any dressed up character, cats...obviously, we aren't going to Disney World anytime soon!

I love the spray idea....thanks for making me not be so worried!