Does your nanny annoy you?

We have a 19 year old nanny and for the most part she is good. She has been here over 3 months, and things are starting to bother me. I'm just wondering if it's me or if you might experience some of the same problems.

First, she eats all of our food, she never comes feed or ready to work, she eats breakfast, lunch, and snacks here. The only frustration with this is that I don't enjoy spending my free time at the grocery store, I would rather be home with my girls. I've also experienced going to get something like a banana to feed the girls, and they are all gone. She doesn't just make a sandwich either, she will get out frozen egg rolls, burritos, etc, and cook them or make french toast. I also have 2 other boys, and when they come home hungry and there favorites are not there they get mad at me!

Secondly, she doesn't always use her head. There have been many incidents that are totally frustrating with her. For instance, the day the girls had their Dr. appts, she gave them sippy cups prior to use leaving, full of water, needless to say they were soaked, and we had to redress them. She has even allowed the girls to color with pens. Recently, she tried to feed the girls rasberries, while they were wearing new "Gap" long sleeve white shirts, luckily I stopped her our they would be trashed. Yesterday, she allowed them to put enough tissues in the toilet, while potty training, to clog it. ETC....

I've talked with her about looking at the consequences of what she does or allows the girls to do, however, it's usually a different scenario each time. Most of the time, she is good with them and very energetic or motivated, however, the above things I mentioned are starting to drive me crazier than I was.

So I'm just wondering if others have experienced the difficulty of having another person with them in their house most of the day or time?

 

We have a 19 year old nanny and for the most part she is good. She has been here over 3 months, and things are starting to bother me. I'm just wondering if it's me or if you might experience some of the same problems.

First, she eats all of our food, she never comes feed or ready to work, she eats breakfast, lunch, and snacks here. The only frustration with this is that I don't enjoy spending my free time at the grocery store, I would rather be home with my girls. I've also experienced going to get something like a banana to feed the girls, and they are all gone. She doesn't just make a sandwich either, she will get out frozen egg rolls, burritos, etc, and cook them or make french toast. I also have 2 other boys, and when they come home hungry and there favorites are not there they get mad at me!

Secondly, she doesn't always use her head. There have been many incidents that are totally frustrating with her. For instance, the day the girls had their Dr. appts, she gave them sippy cups prior to use leaving, full of water, needless to say they were soaked, and we had to redress them. She has even allowed the girls to color with pens. Recently, she tried to feed the girls rasberries, while they were wearing new "Gap" long sleeve white shirts, luckily I stopped her our they would be trashed. Yesterday, she allowed them to put enough tissues in the toilet, while potty training, to clog it. ETC....

I've talked with her about looking at the consequences of what she does or allows the girls to do, however, it's usually a different scenario each time. Most of the time, she is good with them and very energetic or motivated, however, the above things I mentioned are starting to drive me crazier than I was.

So I'm just wondering if others have experienced the difficulty of having another person with them in their house most of the day or time?

 

I'd say 90% of it has to do with the fact that she has no kids of her own and it trying to use common sense and not doing too well. I was a nanny once and they said eat anything you want. BUT in all seriousness I wouldn't , its would have been rude. You need to set some limits or hire someone new and tell her eat at home.

The shirt thing honestly sounds like someone who has never washed a kids white shirt before after fruit lol.
Its honestly not worth paying her a salary if shes eating more then shes making . Shes 19.. no doubt first serious sitter job. She probably thinks its ok to do some things shes doing. Sitting her down obviously hasn't worked, but you said circimstances are usually different each time. Hard call. But in the end, would she be worth saving as a sitter vs more serious consequences she might cause with her not thinking before acting?

 

I can see how the food thing would be annoying. Is it in her contract that you provide her food? Maybe you could ask that she writes anything she finishes on the shopping list, so that you know it needs replacing. Perhaps if she has to write down all the things she will think more about what she eats. Also I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask her to go food shopping, especially if it is stuff for the children. I often buy stuff like bread, milk or bananas that I use alot of with the kids.

The other stuff just seems more like personality differences to me. Most people you work with/spend lots of time around are going to annoy you one way or another. I know there are some things my employers do that drive me nuts, I'm pretty sure they would say the same about me . Maybe you could get aprons or old t-shirts and ask that she has the girls wear them for any messy activities. Ask her to put on bibs for messy/staining foods or, if you dress the girls in the morning, put them in clothes you don't care so much about.

 

She is 19 so really you're paying another child to play with your children imo. I remember babysitting at 18 and being totally clueless so I gave up that job pretty quick. Some 19 year olds may be better able to handle the job if they're use to caring for younger children or if they've babysitted a lot during high school. It's probably because I am 41 and 19 seems very young to me.....younger moms probably have a different opinion.

I think the previous poster gave some good advice

 

oh to have a nanny to complain about LOL. You are the employer, she the employee. Tell her what she is doing wrong and if it does not change things, get another nanny. Seems simple to me

 

Does she annoy me? Yikes! I dont want to hijack your thread but man I could go ON AND ON! I should fire her, but then that is just another story!

FIrst off, its the age. ANd, poor work ethic, IMHO. Mine is late EVERYDAY! To the point we changed her hours by 1/2, and SHE IS STILL LATE!

She never brings food either. She eats our food. That frankly is the LEAST of my complaints.

What I would do if I were you is make a list of what the Dos and Donts are and a CHECKLIST of what she is to have done/completed each day along with what she fed them, potty stuff, art stuff, books, any meds, etc.

That really helped here, I did it 3 days ago.

 

Regarding the food, it sounds like you need to have a talk with her about expectations. You may have assumed that she would use moderation, but clearly she isn't. So maybe you could agree on specific things she will eat, or even have a shelf for her in the cabinet and one in the fridge. It seems like in this area, she needs to be treated like a teenager who's living with you, rather than an employee.

As far as the common sense, unfortunately she will probably just need to learn that. An experienced nanny, or someone who had kids of her own, would probably not do those things, but you'd have to pay a lot more. In a sense you're sort of training her.

I'd also guess that 3 months is the point in any relationship when things start to get on your nerves. Give it a few more months and you'll know whether they are serious things, or just things you have to get used to about each other.

 

Sometimes I think managing a nanny is like having another full-time job. My nanny is very experienced.. she's in her 50's, and she has a lot of experience with children, but she still does things that bother me.

Like one time she stretched the truth about being late because there was no train, but there was. Or some other things.. like not cleaning up as much as she should after the kids.. but she generally does well and the kids like her.

We also include food in her salary, though she doesn't eat as much and she does put it on the list if she is out of it.

Go with your instincts on the nanny situation.

 

I don't have a nanny, but i had alot of different roommates in college and she sounds like a conglomeration of all of them.

Setting definite boundaries and expectations of her behavior. Document what you say to her and give her a copy, and let her know how many (more) violations it's going to be before you fire her. Shelf in the fridge for HER TO BRING HER OWN FOOD. Just treat her like you would an adult and tell her what you told us here. At that age, most 19 yo's want to be treated like a "real adult."

Make her go to the grocery and buy things and not reimburse her LOL just kidding. That would be wrong.

 

Our nanny is and au pair and therfore live-in and so YES of course she annoys me, and I love her too, but that's besides the point.

Actually, our current au pair eats much less than the last one, but that's part of the deal with the au pair, you have to provide their meals, but generally she rarely eats dinner with us, so she always has leftovers in the fridge and that takes care of that during the day. Food is not an issue here. With the last one, I told her to feel free to add her needs to the shopping list and it wasn't really a problem -- except she liked eating raw pork, but, uh, whatever, cultural differences, etc. But she was an EATER for sure.

Things that annoy me with the current au pair are missing toy pieces, not really feeling like keeping the girls' room neat is her duty, just not going out of her way to do anything extra, not cooking for the girls, and not great communication at the end of the day. But the truth is we're really lucky, and she's way way way fantastic with the girls -- she loves them, she does lots of creative things with them, lots of energy, sings and plays, and she's teaching them Spanish. I'll take all the little (minor) annoyances for that.

If your babysitter's annoying things are outweighing the good, like if she isn't otherwise fantastic, I'd say let her go. I cling to our current au pair -- who will soon be our nanny, she's staying in the country -- because she's great at what matters. The little annoying things are secondary.

 

quote:
Originally posted by 1girltwinboyz:
oh to have a nanny to complain about LOL. You are the employer, she the employee. Tell her what she is doing wrong and if it does not change things, get another nanny. Seems simple to me



Totally agreed!


It may be the age, or immaturity reasons. Maybe she hasn't had that much experience with watching children. Have you tried talking to her about these issues yet? It sounds like these things just need to be brought to her attention, and if they don't change then try and find a new nanny.

I will say though, I am only 20, I was 19 when I had the girls. I wouldn't do many of the things that your nanny does. I had tons of experience with small children/twins even before I had my girls though, maybe that is the difference.

Good luck.

 

Personally she sounds too young and inexperienced to be with your twins. When we interviewed I looked for someone older and with twin experience, and it has worked out well--our nanny has worked with several other twin families and I am the one that asks her for advice. I have always told her to help herself to whatever she finds in the kitchen but she never eats our stuff, just sodas and teas, that kind of thing. I think your 19 year old sounds like she would be a great occassional babysitter or helper, but not sure about a full time nanny...