does your dh understand?

my dh thinks I am suppose to be pregnant and happy. He does not understand just how emotional I am. We just got into a huge fight. I lost my temper so bad that I threw my plate with food on the floor and broke it. Now I am scared that I caused to much upset, like could this have hurt the babies? I am scared of my emotions hurting the babies. I will refrain from losing my temper, but I don't know if I can control the weepiness, and I am not usually a weepy person. Has anyone been through this and have everything go ok at your next appointment?

 

oh yes, my hormones have been so out of whack since i've been pregnant with the twins. some days are like a rollercoaster ride for me. but both babies are doing well, and i just try to stay calm when the urge kicks in to act crazy!! :crazy:

 

I do know that stress is not good on a pregnancy. I'm sorry your DH does not understand all the emotions that go along with pregnancy. :hug99: Maybe you need to sit down and really have a heart to heart with him and let him know exactly how and what you are feeling. Or maybe try and find a book for him to read about it. Sometimes men don't get it, but you need to try and take it easy. You will not be able to control the weepiness and that won't cause any harm to your babies. I have found that since I have become a Mom I am much more sensitive to many things and cry at the drop of a hat. I can bawl my eyes out at a commercial.

Try and talk to your DH about it. :hug99:

 

I sat down with my DH a few weeks ago and told him that I am not normal now and cannot control my emotions sometimes. I told him I really needed his support these next few months to keep me and the babies healthy. It did help a lot to sit down face to face and talk about it. Ever since he has worked really hard at controlling his anger when my harmones are taking over.

 

My husband knew (as I did) that the emotional rollercoaster was part and parcel of the pregnancy, and he's been great about it (though he has laughed at me a few times when I was being particularly unreasonable which of course did nothing to calm me down). I did expect the sailing to be smoother after the first trimester, but no such luck for me - I need my crying and hissy fits it seems

I don't think the twins suffer any from your emotional outbursts (just refrain from doing anything really stupid, like jumping out of a moving car in a tantrum!) - who knows, maybe they need you to go through the whole spectrum of emotions so they learn what the different hormones mean and how to handle them. Go easy on yourself! The stress of trying to check your temper and feelings of guilt when you lose it are probably worse than just cutting loose every now and then. And talk to your husband about how you're really happy, but also hormonal Good luck!

 

Thanks everyone for the responses! I have already told dh that this is not me, that it's hormones. Yet, when I go to crying(getting my feelings hurt etc...) He has the nerve to ask me, "why are you crying?" which makes me want to monkey slap him and say DUH, I am pregnant. I just wish he could be sensitive to my feelings right now. I am worried about dozens of things, which are out of my control I know, but I still can't help but to worry.

 

My dh does not understand why in the world I would be anything other than happy. When I tell him I'm worried, stressed, or sad about being pregnant his response is always "You wanted to have a baby". Just because I wanted to have a baby doesn't mean I'm going to be thrilled to be pregnant all the time! Or like I'm not going to worry about anything or feel sad that my life is never going to be the same!! I can be excited about having these babies and at the same time sad that our lives will never be the same again! I did want to have a baby, and I am happy we so easily conceived two babies.....but I'm also sad sometimes that we are losing what we had as a married couple with no kids, there were some things about that I am going to miss.

 

Your post made me laugh thinking about a situation between DH and I during my first pregnancy. I was all sensitive and hormonal (and constipated)! We got in this huge fight and I had been eating prunes. I totally lost it and flung a handful of prunes right at him! Of course, when I launched all those prunes at least one of them hit him in the face! He was sitting there trying to pull himself together and all of the sudden he just busted out laughing! "You just slapped me with a PRUNE!" Of course, I started crying and we both realized how ridiculous the whole argument really was.

All that to say you are hormonal, and ESPECIALLY if this is your first pregnancy, your DH does not understand! Mine didn't at first, because I'm normally more like "one of the guys" with my emotions. First pregnancies are tough and the first few months after the baby(s) comes is too. Just talk about it, and laugh about it whenever you can! Have honest conversation now about how your lives are changing and about to change more.

Oh, and your emotions won't hurt your babies. But try not to stay too worked up; it will make you tired and yucky feeling.

 

I feel for you :hug99: I think most men just don't get what we go through with pregnancy, let alone a twin pregnancy!!! My DH drove me nuts with our first, he was clueless. Then when he witnessed the h*ll I went thru delivering such a large baby he had a newfound appreciation.

Personally my twin pregnancy was the worst 8 mos of my life. I have so much empathy for you and the other expecting moms on the forum. Many of us have raging hormones the entire time, discomfort/pain, insomnia, worry etc. That's what is so great about this place, only twin moms understand. And even the stresses of infant twins still, for me, do not compare to the misery of pregnancy.

Try to be good to yourself and do as much as you can to pamper yourself...also let others take care of you when possible. It is really tough to imagine right now, but when your twinkies arrive and those two faces gaze up at you like you're the queen of the universe, you'll be so overwhelmed with love and contentment! Good luck!

 

I think that the way you are feeling is totally normal! I am definately much more irritable and emotional in general than I ever have been (even moreso than previous pregnancies)! I know that most husbands do not understand, no matter how hard they try. The fact is, they are not, have not, and never will be pregnant. Although, I do think that men have thier own set of stresses during pregnancy. I know for my husband, the financial concerns are at the top of his list of worries, but I think that a lot of men lack confidence on how well they will do during delivery and at being a father in general. If you are truly concerned about your moods then talk to your doctor about it, they may be able to offer support and solutions to these issues. Good luck!

 

Stress isn't good for pregnancy, but there is no way to avoid it. I have been as mad as you while pregnant (both times). The first time I did the same thing as you...

DH really doesn't understand... but oh well... I find that if I ignore him, the better I am at at handling a situation.

 

You are not alone. I do believe the hormones are worse when carrying twins. With my son I was never this hormonal.