Does anyone have a twin much more advanced?

A little background...

My boys were born full term, so they were not preemies and have no delays. But, Sean was always a couple of months behind connor in everything...sitting up, crawling, walking etc. Sean is very cautious and does everything on his own speed, where connor is very anxious to get it done...nothing wrong with that. I was told never to compare thier milestones and I had stopped doing that until now.

Sean has a short Fenalum...its the skin that connects your tounge to the bottom part of the mouth. It reaches to the tip of the tounge, so its hard to move his tounge. My old pedi (in NJ) wanted to have it cut by 6 months....the ear nose and throat dr refused to do it until he was 2...then around the age of 2, he said, well, he needs hearing tests, language tests etc before I do this...it REALLY aggrivated me...ALL the kids I know that had this have had it done as babies..so they dont remember it, and have no issues with speech. My old pedi was aggrivated too...its not surgery...it hurts forr a second with a snip (like a shot).

Since we moved, I am looking for another Doc..and this time, I will not take NO for an answer. As far as I am concerened and my pedi this should have been done at birth. His hearing is fine, and I think this doc was lazy. Why make him go through speech therapy if all he had to do was snip this in the bud so to speak??

Ok, now to this part..Sean talks...he BABBLES all the time!!!!! hes very vocal...he can say words...many words, and hes doing very well. Connor on the other hand can say anything...he repeats everything I say, knows animal noises, etc...says bye bye grandma...hello daddy...I love you...making sentences. Sean can say Hi daddy,,,but thats about all...He says tree, apple...doggie, etc...many things, but hes not on the same level as Connor and I work with them together.

Sean is VERY itelligent...he studies EVERYTHING...and is very meticulous and accurate. SHould I just want and see if he catches up soon like he did with the other things? I will still continue to get it snipped, but I wanted to see what you all thought.

I know all kids are different and take thier own times...do you think this is what this is?? Thank you if you made it this far!

 

In our case I have two girls that look very different, I guess they look like sisters, but not "twins" by which mostly I mean, one looks and acts older than the other -- I think strangers would think Melissa is Jade's big sister (she is -- by a minute!) . Melissa is taller, more social, less babylike. Jade is still my baby, has her baby fat, is less socially connected, etc. Granted, Jade walked first (by a week) and she knows her numbers and letters better than Melissa. She's got lots of excellent skills. But Melissa is definitely "more advanced" in the more obvious ways. Jade has been receiving EI because of some delays (speech, special instruction, OT), but I'm really coming to think it's just her laid back personality. She's taking her own time, developing differently than her sister. She actually reminds me of my sister as a child (she's my older sister by 2.5 years, but by the time I was 10 people thought I was the older sister). This sister is now a scientist at Pfizer -- brilliant actually -- but still spacy. It's so hard not to compare them, but people are different and develop differently, and it's so easy to see when they are growing up side by side. Just remember they are individuals and will develop differently.

 

It sounds like you're planning to get it snipped in any case, so are you asking whether you should have Sean's speech evaluated right away, or wait until after the snipping and see if he catches up faster? If I'm interpreting your question right, I would say have him evaluated. He is probably fine, but since you aren't sure when you'll be able to have the snipping done, and then you won't know how long to wait afterwards before deciding to have him evaluated, you might as well get that ball rolling now too.

My twins have always been just the way you describe -- Sarah does everything within the normal range, but usually a month or two after Amy has done it. It's been the same with speech so far too. Mine are younger than yours, but Amy has >50 words and is starting to use two-word phrases, whereas Sarah has about 10-15 words and they all sound pretty much the same ("buh," "bah," "dah," etc.) I think she's probably fine, but they have their 18-m checkup coming up, and I think I'm going to suggest having her evaluated, just to see what a specialist says. It's so hard not to compare when you have two the same age!

ETA: Marie, that's funny that you say that (about them looking like older/younger sisters), because someone just the other day saw my two in the stroller together and thought that Amy was Sarah's older sister! Amy is starting to look like a little kid, while Sarah still has the round baby cheeks.

 

My twins were preemies, 9 weeks early. Baby A (Lily) kicked away at my cervix the whole time, PROM'd just shy of 31 weeks, and was trying to kick her cord out which is why we delivered versus waiting it out another week. And to this day I swear to anyone who will listen, that girl just wanted out. She was ready for the world.

She's advanced, and very advanced for being a preemie. Grace is more on track with her full-term counterparts, maybe a little behind. But she talks a lot more, while Lily's moved way head physically.

It's hard not to compare them, but they really are just sisters born at the same time and will definitely have their own timetables.

 

Marie..

You described my boys to a T....Sean is the one thats still babyish..even acts a little infantlike sometimes when it comes to cuddles attention and beahvior. Connor is FAR more independent, and would rather do things quick and get it over with. Connor is great with other kids and people...smiles and giggles at others. Sean is shy, more reserved and very much a mommies boy. I am putting them in day care for 2 reasons, so Connor can have the socialization he wants, and Sean has the socialization he needs.

Im sure its just as well okay...hes just more laid back with it. When I see the Ear Nose and Throat Dr again (the newone), Im going to inquire about speech. I would like to see if he catches up before I have to put him in therapy. I think we should know more by the time hes three...

Menette - Yes, the question was really is it his condition or personality...and weather or not to get him evaluated in case its the first. I think when I see the Drs next I will ask thier opinions. Thanks for your responses!!! It seems to me many twins are about the same as mine when it comes to personality and milestone differences.

 

It sounds to me like a difference in their personalities. My boys were the exact same way. Keegan caught on to new things much quicker (still does) and Colby was content to just "be". I always tease DH that Colby is just like him, too laid back to know any different.

Keegan did everything first, and Colby just caught up when he felt like it. I was always worrying that Colby would be behind, but he's just got his own agenda. As they've gotten a little older I can see Keegan will be my little book worm, he just likes quiet time reading, drawing putting together puzzles. Colby has got to be doing something, sports, running, wrestling - and can't be bothered to sit still and listen.

I'd give him some time, sounds to me like he's just not in a hurry!

 

I think in the case of older and younger siblings, there are just as many differences in development and personality when each reach a certain age. Having twins who are the same age at the same time, makes it so much more apparent that there are differences, despite the fact that we try not to compare.

That first year is full of milestones, but really by the age of 5 or 6, I personally believe most of the differences will be negligible unless there is a underlying condition that may have delayed development.

I think each child just has their own time table!

Sharon

 

Both of the girls are advanced for their age and being preemies but Jazzy does most things(physical milestones) about 2-4 months before Jessy does. Jessy does have better hand eye coordination than Jazzy. Jazzy likes to sit and look at books or draw. Jessy likes to play with balls or blocks. They just have very different personalities.

 

I personally would wait until you had the physical issue taken care of. Otherwise he is going to be taught ways to work around it and will have to re-learn everything when he gets it snipped. William has for the most part been faster at everything by about a month. With speech he is probably several months ahead of Nathan, but still behind for his age. Nathan is talking more and more to where I can understand him, but other still look at me for translation. That said Nathan is much farther ahead with receptive language and has been for a long time. You can ask him to go get something from another room and he will run and get it. William usually comes back with the wrong item or nothing at all. Nathan has been able to do this for well over a year now. Nathan has also potty trained earlier than William. So although there are areas that William excells, there are also areas that Nathan excells at.

 

Bea has done everything first and she has much more of a daredevil in her. Ainsley is generally 3-4 months behind, but with walking was 8 months behind. She is also more cautious and has had a gross motor delay, so I really don't know if it's a chicken and egg thing with her. Like, is she more cautious because she doesn't feel physically comfortable? Sorry, I don't know anything about the tongue thing. I would also wait with any speech therapy until it's done though.

 

My girls are just like Marie's girls as far as different looks and personalities. I very very rarely get asked if they are twins anymore. I get asked how far apart they are. So, I've pulled out my old "one minute" response which always stuns them.

Anyway, my girls are ahead of each other in different ways. Casey is much more physical. She runs better, walks faster, climbs confidently, etc. She can color VERY well already. Mandi is ahead of Casey in speech. Quite a bit from my estimates. She talks all day, uses sentences, repeats anything I say, introduces herself and her sister and her Mommy when we are out. She's more advanced at some of the fine motor skills like eating even though Casey can run circles around her in coloring.

I think once you have that frenulum fixed that you will be surprised how much improvement you see. 2 is not too late though, yes, it's best to do that as soon as it's caught. We once had a TEN year old boy in our office. He had just been put in foster care and the foster parents were trying to help him with his speech. He had his done and even at 10 did remarkable with it. In his 2wk post-op, he was already showing great improvement (after 10yrs of speech hindrance!) and my 6mos, he sounded mostly caught up. I think your 2yro will do great. Shame on that ENT. There was just no excuse for not doing it.