Does anyone have 4 kids age 4 and under?

We have a 2 yo daughter and 6mo twins and I'm trying to decide if we're "done" or not. If we did have another baby, I'd want to have another 2 year age span (I wouldn't want the youngest to feel so much younger than everyone else, plus I'm not getting any younger!)

I go back and forth daily about this decision. Today, I think we're done - 3 is all I can handle! But yesterday I was thinking this isn't too bad and it would be great fun to have another! How much crazier is 4 than 3? Do you have hired help? We do not have family in town so I do worry about that part.

The other issue is what if we were to have twins again? 5 under 4 would be insane! I have no family history of twins, was 31 when I got pregnant with them, no IVF or drugs - just a big surprise. I'm not sure how likely a 2nd surprise might be. Anyone know?

Thanks!
Amy

 

We have the same conversation all the time! Exactly like you I told myself today, "this is ALL I can handle.." but yesterday I was thinking about a fourth somewhere down the road. If we do decide on a 4th, we would also want another 2-year age span...mostly because I want to get pregnancy out of the way and over so I can have all my childbearing done! but I do sometimes think I'm completely insane for even considering it!

Reyna

 

I keep on deciding if I am done yet or not as well. Something I have to remember, my guys will start pre-school when the new baby is 1, so that will leave me at home with only one child... I could try again after that, since I wouldn't be so overwhelmed with them ALL at home, kwim? Atleast the older kids would be in school.

 

I am no help, but thought I'd add that I too bounce this very question around in my mind daily. There are moments when I'm 200% sure that I can't handle another one, but then there are times when it breaks my heart to know that we're done.

Who knows if it's just me trying to accept that this phase of our life has to end at some point, or maybe it means that we really aren't done. Nobody ever says, "Wow, I wish I hadn't had one more baby". On the other hand, I think lots of people regret not doing it.

I also wonder what the transition from 3 to 4 is like. Going from 2 to 3 is rough, but I've heard people say that if you can handle 3, you can handle as many as you want. I think it's basically the factor of being out-numbered.

So, the debate continues and I'm interested to see everyone's responses.

Best of luck deciding!

 

I currently have a 23 month old & 6 week old twins... & we plan on at least one more... if not 2... I told hubby I am not having any more after I hit 30! We both came from very large families with at least 4 biological children & almost all were spaced out 2 years apart! I guess when you've grown up with it its not quite as scary. Like the PP said... my friends & family with the experience say that 1-2 is a pretty big change... your always out numbered if your alone. 2-3 is hard cause even if you are both there you are STILL always out numbered... & often times a child may feel left out. Once you have 3 they say it really doesn't get any harder... though they have said if they are close in age its easier to have an even number.

I have a couple of friends who have litterally been prego or BF for 4 years straight... her oldest was a month shy of 4 when her 4th was born! She got prego as soon as she ovulated. She is a very fertile lady. Anyways she loves being a mom & I think that you just adjust. I also have a few friends in other states that have 5 & 6 kids (not EVERYONE I know has that many, I just know quite a few that do!)

It is up to you & hubby as to what is best for YOUR family. We have lucked out, all 3 kids are easy going & very laid back, so its an easy question for us to answer. I would wait until their 1st birthday... that would give you a few months to think about it... plus with my first it had gotten pretty easy by then, so I was crazy enough to do it again!

PP also has a good point that your oldest will be in preschool (if you choose) when the time comes to have had a 4th baby... that will help alot.

If we could afford it I would have TONS of kids!!! When our Bio's are older we may do foster care or adopt a few more. In-case your wondering why we are so crazy, we both come from families of 9 kids... yes 9! The average family were we live has 2. when our parents remarried they remarried people that already had kids. I have 6 bio sibs & 2 step... DH has 3 bio & 5 step.

 

We've always desired a big family! Our goal is 5 of our own, and then to adopt one. We plan to wait until the twins are 2 to try again. I want to be done before I'm 35, but I am so looking forward to not being pregnant for awhile. We actually even had a miscarriage between DS #1 and DS #2, so I have been pregnant and/or BF for almost 4 years!

And we are well under way... until my oldest turned 3 a couple of weeks ago, we had 4 under 3.! And yes, many people think were crazy!

Many days it does feel overwhelming, but it still feels so right (for us). Going from 2 to 4 was hardest for me because I just cannot get out as much anymore, and my friends with 2 or less kids seem to be moving on a bit without me.

Anyways, good luck with your decision! -

 

When I saw this thread my heart skipped a beat. I have 3 under 3 and most days lately it seems like I am at my wits end. Hats off to all of you for the desire to keep going. I had thought that I might want to do it again after the twins were born but with them still not sleeping through the night I dont think my mind and body can do it again.

Rachel

 

Hi! I wanted to jump in on this discussion! I have a 3.5 year old, a 24 month old, and 11 month old twins. For several months last year I had 4 children under 3!!! We're now in the 4 under 4 club and will be until my daughter turns 4 in November.

I will tell you that I never in a million years thought my family would look this way. Now that it's here however, I wouldn't change anything about. As soon as you hold that child of yours the first moment after birth, I don't think any mother would regret having that child. Are there days when things are absolutely crazy? Yes!!! Are there days when I don't think I can make it? Yes!! But the Lord sustains me and has been my comfort and strength. I know that this is His best for my life and I am seeking daily to welcome it with open arms.

The biggest tool for me is a schedule. The kids know what to expect and thankfully, all 4 of them nap from 1-3pm (approx) everyday. This gives me time to nap, email, etc. I also have an amazingly involved husband who takes care of me and the kids in an incredible way!!

This season we're in is so short term!! I can't wait until all the kids are 8,9, and 10!! I think we'll have a blast!

Just wanted to share my thoughts!

 

I don't know, but I think I have everyone beat. I had 4 kids 2 years and under. The boys were 2 years and 1 month when the girls were born. Hard? yep. Much help from others? nope We pretty much did everything on our own. It obviously is posible. If it happens, you deal with it. We were not planning on having twins the second time around so don't rule that out!!! I'd love to have more children but I wouldn't know how to act if I only had 1.

Nancy

 

Thanks for all of your responses. It definitely helps to know that I'm not the only one filp-flopping on the subject. I still don't know what we'll do though!
I can't believe some of you have managed 4 under 2 and 3 years old. That is amazing! Good for you!
KyMy, my dh and I are from big families too and sometimes it feels like we're not a big group like we're both used to. I don't know, we'll see where we land. I had another "3 is all I can handle" day today!

 

Wow, 4 under 3 and 2? I thought 3 under 2 was tough, I can't even imagine.

We are definitely done, but have to say that if we were a bit younger and money wasn't an issue, I'd probably want a 4th.