Does anyone else work part-time and not use daycare?

Dh and I are both RNs and coordinating our shifts so we can avoid daycare; dh works Fri/Sat/Sun and I work 2-3 weekdays. On our workdays, we don't get home until 9 p.m. or so.

The twins are 26 months old now and very, very difficult to manage. Of course, I feel guilty for "abandoning them" on my workdays; I can only spend a little time with them before it's time for bed (we keep them up late so we're able to do this). But of course they have the best possible child care, I tell myself, although sometimes I wonder. Would they be better off in daycare?

We have no family support and there is nobody else to help out. Being alone on our days off makes it difficult to accomplish much since they currently need constant supervision (I don't see how parents of toddlers manage to work from home... I barely get some housework done). The only productive thing I usually manage to do is to take them on bike rides (I pull them in a bike trailer) so I can try to get back in shape (lose the weight required to be able to have the desperately needed tummy tuck; but that's another topic).

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else has a similar work/childcare arrangement and how it's working for you? We're wondering if we shouldn't put them in day care one day a week (Friday) so we could work one day together and therefore have another one off during the week while socializing the kids a bit... but how will they handle this?

Any input, wisdom or suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks to all,

DeLana

 

Hi there. I think if you can swing the childcare, I would put them in it 1-2 days a week for both your sanity and theirs! I can understand trying to swing it w/out daycare and for some parents it works well. For others, the 1 or so days the kids are in daycare it works out better for all.

It should be getting easier any time now. I am finding the boys will entertain themselves for short periods of time so I can get things done. I find the key to this is leaving them alone in a childproofed place so they can do just that. If I am visible, they want me. If I walk out to get something done. they might fuss for a few seconds or a whole minute. but at 2, they usually find something to play with pretty quick now.

And i am finding it easier with 3 than 2 sometimes now. Dd loves her brothers and will watch them for minutes here and there so I can again throw in a load of laundry or run outside to toss a dipe in the trash etc. LOL.

Ok my 4 cents... anyone else?

Oh I am a SAHM but hope to put the boys in preschool either this fall or 08 for both their social needs and my sanity LOL

 

I teach part-time and my schedule changes every three months. My dh works full-time M-F 8-5. My situation is a little bit different than yours because my mom lives in town and she usually watches the babies while I teach during the day. But I often times teach night classes, and when I do I'm out the door the second dh gets home at 5:30. The company dh works for offers a back-up daycare center that I use every once in a while, but not very often.

Depending on your finances, you might want to try a daycare center that would let you use them only one or two days a week. At 2 years old your kids would probably benefit from a structured environment with lots of other kids. I would love to do this for my kids, but I think they're still a bit young at 15 months. They're start going to preschool two mornings a week when they're 2 1/2 next summer, but until then they're stuck with my mom!

 

I reckon in your situation, doing shiftwork, I'd definitely go the daycare route if you can find a quality centre that's close by. My husband and I also both worked very part-time in order to avoid daycare for our girls until they were 18 months old, then, as he was studying fulltime with two practicums to complete (he qualified as a teacher last year) and I was working four days per week to feed us, we put them in daycare for three days a week. This was a bit much for two young toddlers - this year, my hubby's working fulltime and I'm back to a five-day fortnight, and the girls go to daycare two days a week (on my "fifth day" of work each fortnight - every second Wednesday - they go to my parents). And it's just perfect. The girls love their daycare days, it's affordable, and if I absolutely need to run an errand after work I can do so, knowing they're well looked after. We do have family close by so if we need a few hours together on the weekend to remember why we married each other, we can always ask my parents or cousin. But when you don't have that, you can easily get very, very stressed and stretched. That once-a-week time together sounds very therapeutic, IMO.

Any decision you make doesn't need to be permanent; you can always give daycare a six-week trial then pull your girls out if it's looking too hard. If things don't go too well on the first few tries - I have a quick story - a good friend has beautiful twin girls who did not seem to be coping well with starting daycare (for one short day per week, at 22 months of age). One of them would scream and cry every time she was dropped off. Jo took some photos of the daycare centre and wrote a special story called "We go to daycare" with the girls' assistance. Problem solved; it was that easy. The story contained all the information they needed - the reason why they were at daycare, what the routine would be like, who their carers were, and that Mummy or Daddy would always pick them up. They will be two in a few days and now love their time at daycare.

Good luck with whatever you decide - it's got to work for all four of you!

Cheers

Tania

 

Hello! I am also an RN and I work the night shift, but only a .4. My DH works FT, and is on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week (yes, you got that right, he is ALWAYS on call). For the first 2 years we didn't have daycare. I work every other Friday - Monday. On Monday day my mom would watch them while I slept and then Tuesday I would either stay up all day with them (keep in mind my kids have never been nappers, so I was basically awake for about 34 hours straight), or occasionaly my DH would take a half day off of work so I could sleep. This was getting way to stressful on all of us, so we needed to make a change. I found a wonderful in home daycare provider and they go every Tue am now. So I for sure get 3 hours of sleep after working all night (more if they take a nap that afternoon, then I can sleep with them!). I pick them up at noon. It's a wonderful situation. Then every other Tue I get a morning to myself too. I have regained a bit of sanity this way. I am sad that it is only during the school year though (she usually takes teachers kids and is off in the summer, but made an exception in our case). So I am piecing together friends/family for the Tue morning daycare for the summer. I will miss the few mornings a month I used to have to myself!

I think it would be great for you, your husband, your marriage and your kids to have a bit of help. Good luck with your decision!

 

we tried a couple of daycare places when our guys were little but they did not feel right, so up until they were about 26 months or so I worked mostly from home when they napped on my husbands day off and/or one to two short days they went to my neighbors who was a SAHM with a son three months older. Yes it was "a housefull" but it was some play time lunch and then naps. at 26 months(or so) our finances needed me to work more so I did some research and finally found a place (in home) that has smaller number of kids, she has older kids after school and their language/colors/letter just exploded. They have fun, they learn, they get to play in a yard bigger than we have and then they are home with just me two days and both of us on the weekend.

For us it seemed 2-2 1/2 was a great time to get them involved w/o me for a while. I would rather not have to work as much as I do, but am luck I can work the hours I do.

Good luck with your decision.

Chris

 

Thank you all for the input, I think we will seriously look into one day a week daycare. Our hospital has a daycare center that allows "drop ins", I think it would be about $84 for both of them. Not cheap, but still less than I would earn that day Of course, first we would take them on our day off - just in case we have to pick them up again in an hour...

I'll let you know when it's time.

DeLana