does anyone else have to restrain their kids while feeding?

my boys are 4 months and already showing signs of hyperactivity. their movements are none stop when they are awake, always kicking and moving their arms about. when i feed them, especially river, he moves his head into my chest where i can't get the bottle into his mouth. i have to hold both of their arms down with the other arm tucked between me and the baby while making sure their feet have nothing to kick off of. they are so strong that if they start kicking they jolt up and when their arms move they knock the bottle right out of my hands. just recently river has started to refuse his bottles and it takes me a good 10-15 minutes to calm him down (i think primarily because he hates to be restrained), once i get the bottle in his mouth he is fine. i wish i could show you how busy they are with their movements but i can't get the video to share...if anyone is friends with me on facebook check out the latest video and you'll see what i mean for overly active 4 month olds.

a lot of people have said this could be a teething issue. i don't like to use tylenol all the time so i only use it at night for their "dream feed" and it does seem to help. although 8 hours later when i wake them up to eat they only take 2oz in an hour and then are of course hungry 2-3 hours later screaming for food. the feeds throughout the rest of the day seem to get better, every 4 hours w/5oz but around the 6-6:30pm feed it's the same thing, lots of fighting and struggling. i've tried going the every 3 hours route with the same result. by the time i'm done getting 2oz in them and relaxing them it's time to start all over.

they've been consistently getting crankier and crankier since last thursday and i don't know how much more i can handle. they used to be such sweet babies who hardly ever cried and then all of the sudden, wham-o instant cry-a-thon. if one isn't cranky the other is. i've pin pointed it down to most of the time they are crying because they are exhausted and are fighting sleep and once i get them comfortable they sleep for a bit but wake up and start the process all over again.

my husband and i really believe they are teething i'm just wondering how much longer this behavior is going to continue because between this horrid case of pms (i know TMI) that i'm going through and a short temper i'm reaching, if not passed, my breaking point. i try giving the kids that old "kids are starving in third world countries story but they don't understand. i've tried being encouraging and sweet and loving and sometimes a little stern with them. often times i have to initiate their startle reflexes to get them to remember what they are supposed to do with the bottle.

we tried yesterday going every 5 hours between feeds to see if they would actually have an appetite but they didn't make it passed 4 so we fed them. if i try and feed them any sooner then every 4 hours they want nothing at all to do with the bottle even after an hour of trying so 2oz later with a screaming child or one that "pretend sucks" i give up and call it quits.

i'm all alone with this battle and i feel bad that i have to restrain them so much but they've got to eat and at this point it's not a question of me over feeding them because they are eating no where near the amount they used to.

i could call my MIL but she's a real pain the butt and difficult for me to handle when i'm in a crabby mood. my mom is usually drunk by 7pm and her husband, while good with the boys, just creeps me out. friends are working, tending to their own kids or going on dates with their newlywed husbands. so my options are limited.

i really and truly don't think this has anything to do with any GI problems and the more i'm witnessing these teething behaviours the more i'm leaning towards teething as being the problem. i'm just wondering how long this continual crankyness will continue. also when you experienced teething with your kids did they fight bottles like this or have small crevices in their gums, almost like cuts without white sticking through on the bottom two front teeth? i never looked at their gums before so i don't know if that is something they are born with or not...just curious if it might be a sign that a tooth is going to appear soon.

anyone else in the same boat as me and if so how in the world did you keep your cool when dealing with this for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?

by the way, they don't appear to be milk interolant since they've been on similac advanced and this issue originated on soy. i'm going to try similac sensitive which is milk based but lactose free so we will see what happens.

also we do thicken their formula 1tsp per oz for the reflux and they take prevacid 7.5mg solutabs in the am and 1ml of zantac at night and their reflux symptoms seem to be under control, no profectile vomiting, arching, crying during or after feeds, etc.

 

:hug: It's hard to say how long teething discomfort will last. When my DS got his first tooth it was really bad the first week leading up to it and once the tooth was out, he was a whole new baby. My DD, on the other hand, I had no idea she was teething until the first two teeth had popped out.
Have you tried giving them Tylenol 30 min before feeds to see if that will help them feed better? The sucking on the bottle might be uncomfortable for them if they are teething. I did not notice cuts in my DS's gums prior to the first teeth coming out, his gums looked a little swelled and I had a hard time getting near his mouth.

 

Well, the bottome incisors are the first to appear, first the ridges, then teeth.
It can take up to a couple months for teeth to appear.

Did you try those teething tabs? They have belladona,which should help.

Maybe it's a combo of the reflux with the teeth. You did go back to the Similac Advance right?

All that jerky movement could be to their immature nervous system.

Instead of the restraint maybe the swaddle blanket thing. I never bought it but it's like a papuse. They get cozy, and maybe eat better.

Lastley don't get scared when you read this cause is is unlikely, but I try to put my knowlede out there. Read up on infantile spasms. See if the boys meet the criteria. Then talk with the ped. Like I said unlikely.

Good luck.
Utilize the MIL, you need a little break.

 

i have given them tylenol over the last week, not everyday or every feed, but it did seem to help. now i'm more so giving it them at night although if this crankyness continues throughout the day i may rethink that.

when yours where teething and you were able to look at their gums where their indents in the bottom front teeth? that's more of what i am noticing. not to much swelling, lots of drool, playing with the nipple, chewing on everything and pushing the nipple out with their tongues, and lets not forget this loss of appetite.

they've been getting progressively more difficult to handle with the crankyness over the last 4 or so days. it's so frustrating because i want to help them and comfort them but i can only do so much before i loose my cool, you know? momma needs a break too and it seems like i never get one. :/

we did go back to similac advance and have been on it for about 2 weeks. i went to the store yesterday and all they had was similac sensitive so that's what i had to buy unless i wanted my kids to starve. it's milk based but lactose free, maybe that will help?

i'll look up the spasms issue tomorrow, thanks!

 

I had to swaddle my boys to get them to eat for awhile..

 

I always had to swaddle my boys to get them to eat. We also had to turn off the Tv and anything else that was noisy for a while because they were jsut to nosey. My boys were also very jerky and always moving around and they did have some neuromuscular issue that they had to out grow but it always helped to bundle them tight.I hope that things get better for you soon.

 

I never had to restrain my kids to feed them but I would think swaddling them would be preferable to & easier than trying to hold their arms down. Also, I'm not sure what you meant by this...

I'm just not sure what you are talking about there. ardon:

Teething related issues can go on for several weeks or even a couple of months before they get teeth. But I'm not sure I would be so quick to rule out the reflux or the milk based formula (and many babies with reflux who have milk issues also have issues with soy). Feeding issues are much more likely to be reflux related in babies with severe reflux than they are to be teething related. If they are in pain when they eat, they will resist eating. Control or eliminate the pain & they will eat. I know you've said you have discussed it with their doctor, but I can't help but think the reflux isn't being controlled like it could be.

I also know that you've said you don't like having your MIL come over & help, but honestly, if it's an extra pair of arms to help feed them, I would do it. The frustration from dealing with 2 screaming babies is probably worse than dealing with your MIL, and your babies can pick up on that frustration & exhaustion and it will only make things worse with them. Accept the help so that you can be calmer for them & that, in turn, can make them calmer. I know when I was dealing with colic with my kids, the more upset, frustrated, & tired I got, the worse they cried. Babies are very intuitive & know when something is wrong with Mommy, so try to take any offers of help you can get.

 

they don't like to be swaddled and haven't since the moment they were born. what i mean by restraining them i have to have a firm grip on their arms so they don't flail about and knock the bottle out of my hands and keep their legs hanging off the edge of my body so they can't kick anything and push themselves up. i don't hurt them at all. and when i say i have to initiate their startle reflexes to remind them to suck i'm basically just moving their arms and legs a bit so that they focus on what's in their mouths.

we went to GI and they said it was not reflux related. even though i'm not particularly fond of their GI specialist he has a ton of experience and has been doing this for 30 years and works at one of the countries best childrens hospitals. they display no signs what so ever of reflux. they actually tolerate the milk (when they do eat) very well. they aren't experiencing pain while they eat (to the best of my knowledge at least) because they do not cry while eating or after they are done. they have also stopped projectile vomitting. river is most resistent with getting the bottle past his gums but once you get him started he's absolutely fine. most of the time both boys will bite down on the bottle, stop sucking and smile or try and talk.

yes i do need help but when i'm cranky MIL makes it WAY worse then better and i end up getting really annoyed/frustrated and sometimes angry. when she comes over and i don't "entertain" her she assumes i'm pissed off at her and leaves. i'm trying really hard not to show my frustration to/with the boys. i ask them calmly to be quiet, use the "shooshing" technique and they will smile at me for a moment and then begin the crank-fest all over again. not to mention she has become totally unreliable as a back up. she's told me, when i've offered up good times for her to come and visit (on multiple occasions) that she's too busy shopping with her daughter. from 9am to 6pm, for clothes to make time to come over.

the reason i lean more towards teething is that this has pretty much come out of nowhere and has progressed over the last 4 days. they've never acted like this before, even when their reflux was totally out of control.

 

Have you had their ears checked? When my oldest DS had an ear infection he would do all of the things you are describing. He would bite the nipple, suck a little and then stop, refuse to eat, move his head side to side to get away from the bottle, basically anything he could do to not eat. Sucking with an ear infection or fluid on the ears can cause a lot of pain. A few months ago, I thought DS3 was having a reflux flare up but it turned out to be an ear infection. No fever or anything, just refusal to eat. So, even if they don't have a fever, it might be worth it to get them checked. At least you will be able to rule that out.

 

hmmm ear infection, i never would have thought of that...thanks!

is there anything i can check for or is it something only a ped can diagnose? i can't get in to see him until next week.

are there any home remedies???

 

They sell the instruments used to look in the ears (no idea what they are called!) at some drug stores, but I am not sure it would be very easy to use on a little baby. We have always ended up at the doctor's office for ear infections. You might want to call and tell them you think it is an ear infection and see if they can see you earlier. Our doctor always has same day sick appointments. As for home remedies, the only thing we have done is warm compresses on the infected ear. DS1 usually ended up on antibiotics and eventually needed tubes (which have been wonderful!).

 

We went through phases of this. They just seemed to be overstimulated. They start to realize there's more going on in the world than eating and sleeping. I tried feeding them in a calm environment, shades drawn, no tv or anything on. Didn't really make much difference. It was a very frustrating phase. I did resort to swaddling at times, even though they hated that too. But sometimes it worked. Increasing the nipple flow worked during some of these phases, but we weren't on thickened formula like you and it sounds like you're already at the max.

Are they still getting an average # of ounces in a day? I can't even remember what was normal at that age...maybe 20-24? Mine would consistently do 32+ ounces in a day, so when it would drop way down I'd freak out that they'd start night waking again because they weren't getting enough in during the day. But even if they did 22 oz in a day when you're used to 32, it's still probably enough. Maybe when they were taking a lot they were in a big growing phase, and now they're in a phase where they've slowed down for awhile and they really don't need as much for the time being. Feeding issues are so stressful. They always say they won't starve themsevles and will eat when they're hungry. But it's hard to accept that when you're going through it.

 

i think this is part of the problem but it's kind of hard to solve. their nursery has TONS of bright colors on the walls with trees, clouds, a big bright yellow sun and waves of hilly green grass. i feed them in their nursery in the rocking chair all the time and when they pull away from the bottle they are turning their heads and staring at the wall. it makes me envious of breastfed babies that can only see boob when they eat...lol. if i move them to another part of the house to feed i'm afraid they will throw up over everything since we went through a rough couple of weeks about a month ago with multiple projectile vomitting each day, and not just a little - i'm talking ounces.

they were averaging 25-30oz for about 2 weeks, 5 bottles a day with 6oz each and they were polishing them off no problem every 4 hours. over the last week and a half it's a struggle to get them to take in 15-20oz a day. they STTN 8-9 hours and get up and only take 2oz and then scream out of hunger 2 hours later and eat 4-5oz. i still feed every 4 hours. GI said to try every 5 hours but they wouldn't have that and if i feed them every 3 hours they want absolutely nothing to do with the bottle and believe me i sit there with them for an hour trading babies back and forth until they eat something. i don't try to force feed them because i know that isn't good but i do have to hold them down pretty tightly in order for them to focus on the bottle and even then sometimes they will "pretend suck" for 15 minutes before getting started. needless to say it's a looooooong process and very frustrating.

that thought has crossed my mind as well but i always thought growth spurts lasted only a few days not weeks?? i know that their weight gain and appetite will taper off at some point but i never thought it would decrease like it has been. the more and more this goes on and the crankier they are getting (which is something they don't usually do since leaving that horrid colic phase - they used to be quiet babies that smiled and cooed all the time instead of seeing who can out crank the other). so i'm tending to lead towards teething. i see cuts or indents where the bottom two front teeth come in and felt a bump over one of them. they aren't swollen or red but they are whiter than usual especially in the spot i felt the bump. i tried to take a picture of them but the little buggers wouldn't sit still!

no kidding! they have gained over a pound in a month so no one is concerned enough (pedi, GI) to see them and say there is a problem. so i just sort of half to wait it out until their 4 month check up which is the first week of december...they turned 4 months today, YAY!

 

Here are my 2 cents. Babies are very sensitive to the emotions of people around them. Feeding them stresses you out. Therefore they are getting stressed too. It's called transference. Since you feed them in their bedroom, put on soothing music, turn down the lights, hug them and feed. If you tense up they will too. Take a deep breath and try again if you get frustrated. If he doesn't want to each, then feed the next.

Try feeding one at a time. If that doesn't work, put them in bouncy seats with the calming atmosphere and rock while you feed them. The calmer you are, the calmer they will be. If feeding in the bedroom doesn't work, try somewhere else. Sometimes a change in scenery can help.