Does anyone else have this problem with their 2.5 yo's?

Only one of our boys does this, so, no I don't think this behavior is because we keep the tv on too much. I am always doing activities with them to keep their attention focused on productive things while the tv is on, but Caleb's behavior is getting a little ridiculous when something he doesn't care to watch is on tv. Specifically, if it's not Go, Diego, Go or Blues Clues or The Backyardigans, he throws a wall-eyed tantrum fit wanting me to put the tv on one of those programs. I've tried rationalizing with him, explaining that those 3 shows are not on all the time, therefore we cannot watch them over and over all day long, nor does Mommy think that's healthy for us to keep the tv on just those shows ALL day long (especially not healthy for Mom--there's only so much of those shows I can take in one day! :umm: )

Anyway, my dilemma is...I'm at a loss as to what to do with him if he keeps on, and on, and on about switching the channel back to his cartoons. I do a time out, and then afterwards, he goes right back to whining about the tv. I've tried diverting his attention with his favorite activities, but he is still so concerned about what is playing on tv. And yes, I've tried switching the tv off completely, he screams even louder if it's off totally. The only time I can get him to not complain about it is when they are playing outside. But I can't send them outside 24/7 either, so this is what I'm dealing with , and it is making me a nervous wreck. I'm to the point where I'm ready to just send him to bed for the rest of the day if all he wants to do is cry over the <bleeping> television. And I know that's not a healthy solution either.

I'm trying to decide...is this specifically about the tv programs? Or is this just a general "control freak" phase they go through around this age? Because he's also started throwing fits when he doesn't like the clothes I pick out for him, the way I comb his hair, even the way his food is arranged on his plate...all are control issues he has started having recently. But the tv thing is the worst of it all. I didn't know this type of behavior was supposed to hit unitl at least 3. I'm not ready for my sweet baby to start copping this attitude! lol

Anyone else going through similar stuff?

Jamie

 

I like to watch the Today show in the morning. Not the whole thing, it's Tivo'ed, so I watch maybe 30 min of it, skipping around to the stories in which I am interested. Sometimes they don't care, sometimes it's a big chorus of "No news! No news!" and I try to explain that we all take turns getting to watch what we want to watch, and now it's Mommy's turn. If they pitch too big of a fit, I can't follow it anyway, so I just turn off the TV. Most of the time, the TV is off during the day. They only watch TV at specific times (I'm more lax if it's a sick/rainy/blah day), and all of their shows are on the Tivo or DVD's, so really they can choose what they want and it magically appears, which is probably bad in teaching them instant gratification, but that's what we have. I do sometimes have problems if they won't agree on what to watch. In that case, I pick and they just have to deal or no TV. The only problem I am having now is Bea having a fit if she cannot complete a show, like we're watching TV, but then it's time for dinner or time to leave. She throws a hissy about it not being done.

Just wanted to add that Bea has always been a bit OCD about things like the placement of objects, where people are sitting, stuff like that. Now she has a thing about having to knock on a door before it is opened. Ainsley throws fits about her clothes sometimes, I guess because it's one thing she can have a little control over. As long as it is weather appropriate, I let her pick out her clothes.

 

My kids are now into Doodlebops, Yardigans (BackYardigans), Wiggles, Dora and Diego. Of course, they never want to see the same thing at the same time. If one wants to see Doodlebops, the other wants to see Diego. They both have strong opinions about what they want to watch. If they cannot agree, I turn the tv off or they watch whatever I get to first.

 

My 3 1/2 yr old went through that type of thing when he was about the same age. We actually have DVR so we record "Dora", "Backyardigans" and "WonderPets." It took him until now (1 full year) to understand that those shows aren't on all the time. Also, we gave him 4 little laminated TV cards. Each card was worth 1 show. When he used all 4 cards for the day (2 hours total), he couldn't have any more TV time no matter what. He learned really quickly to save the cards for when I told him his shows would be on and some days he didn't even use the cards. The caveat was that he had to turn the TV off right after 1 show to be able to use the other cards. It took away the "turn it off" battles and the "I wanna watch tv right now" and screaming. After about 3 days, he totally knew how many shows he could watch (not verbalized but he knew) and that he had to follow the rules. Still works to this day.
If he had used all his TV time, I made sure I had a fun activity that he liked so he didn't spend the entire time whining about watching tv. A few days, just to get through rough spots, I made cupcakes and meatballs (he likes to stir and mold). We are now in the process of cutting him down to 1 hour a day and doing the same type of things.
Good luck.

 

My kids are in daycare (where there is no TV), but we've gotten into a routine of watching TV right after school for however long it takes me to get dinner together. They take turns choosing, and I keep track of whose turn it is. They will talk in the car about whose turn it is. Sarah always picks Big Bird or Elmo -- Amy almost always picks Thomas. So, they are obsessive about watching certain shows over and over, but also fairly accepting when it is not their turn to pick. I think they trust that the system is fair and if it isn't their turn today, it will be their turn tomorrow.

Anyway, I think the control freak thing is pretty normal. My kids are not quite 2.5 and they're definitely getting more like that. But as far as the TV in particular, I've found that the more they watch, the more they want/demand. So if you're having major struggles with this every day, I'd suggest making a specific time for specific shows (or for each of them to choose) and telling them there will be no TV at other times. If he senses that you're weakening or are willing to negotiate at all, he will never let up.

It's easy for me to say that now -- I won't have to listen to the screaming (until my kids start doing it!).

 

One of mine did this. The best thing I did was put my foot down and stick to my guns. He is allowed to watch two shows a day at spcific times, then the tv is off. He knows when that tv time is (after lunch and before dinner) and so I think that gives him a little control in that he says"Its showtime!" I found the more tv he watched the less he could entertain himself productively without the tv. Like another person posted, rainy days or sick days I let up a bit and once a week we have "Movie Night" and they take turns picking a kids movie.

 

Mine don't do it for TV, but in the car. Sydney needs music class cd. I switched cars with my dh the other day, and when we went to leave Sydney started to flip out that we needed mommy's car since that is where music class cd is. She even reminded me that grandma car had the music class cd (grandma borrowed my ipod for the music class songs on sunday when they took Sydney out cuz Dani was sick)

 

I also have one son that became obsessed with the TV around that age while the other guy could care less. He became very proficient at using the remote controls and was able to operate the DVD player like a pro close to age 3. So if he was near the TV he could get it all working himself. He also quickly learned how to order "on demand" movies and Tivo his programs. He actually has been able to sight read all his favorite TV programs names in th Tivo que since 3 and once I would tell him the name of a TV show, he would memorize the word and tell me he was going to Tivo it.

Like others mentioned, I had to majorly put my foot down. We inacted the 3 shows/day rule which we still stand by. We also had to visual paper chart to remind him of how many he watched (Mama Chunk...I like the TV card idea!) After the 3 shows, I would unplug all the TV's. For close to a year, I never turned on the TV during the day for myself to avoid any temptation for him. Yes, there was major ranting and screaming....but he always got over it. He's a very strong willed child as it is and I wasn't going to let him call the shots with the TV.

As he has gotten older, things have become more managable with TV time, however, it's still something that we have to consistently reinforce. It may be a sharp analogue... but its like a recovering addict. Now, he LOVES to play computer games ( "I Spy",etc...and he's phenomenal at it) He's very talented at anything AV....thinking computer programming is in his future. It just a matter of keeping it in moderation to help stimulate the other senses.

 

QUOTE(Mama Chunk @ Mar 20 2008, 10:29 PM) [snapback]680347[/snapback]
My 3 1/2 yr old went through that type of thing when he was about the same age. We actually have DVR so we record "Dora", "Backyardigans" and "WonderPets." It took him until now (1 full year) to understand that those shows aren't on all the time. Also, we gave him 4 little laminated TV cards. Each card was worth 1 show. When he used all 4 cards for the day (2 hours total), he couldn't have any more TV time no matter what. He learned really quickly to save the cards for when I told him his shows would be on and some days he didn't even use the cards. The caveat was that he had to turn the TV off right after 1 show to be able to use the other cards. It took away the "turn it off" battles and the "I wanna watch tv right now" and screaming. After about 3 days, he totally knew how many shows he could watch (not verbalized but he knew) and that he had to follow the rules. Still works to this day.
If he had used all his TV time, I made sure I had a fun activity that he liked so he didn't spend the entire time whining about watching tv. A few days, just to get through rough spots, I made cupcakes and meatballs (he likes to stir and mold). We are now in the process of cutting him down to 1 hour a day and doing the same type of things.
Good luck.


I love the tv card idea!! Thanks for posting that! The boys have a play ATM machine and each have a play card that goes in the slot. I'm going to take those and try that idea!

I was kind of iffy about starting this thread, thinking all people were going to think was how could I be such a horrible mother and let the tv run my kids' lives. But really it never was intended that way and I guess it never is with anybody. But now I'm glad I posted this. Thanks for all the reassurance and suggestions.

Jamie