Does anyone else feel this way?

I knew I wanted one more child, but I had no idea that once I was pregnant, I would have this feeling like I am going to be cheating the girls if I have one more baby. I'm sure this will pass, but the past few days, everytime I look at the girls, I get this feeling like I am going to let them down.

 

I think everyone has that feeling... you'll get over it once the new baby is here. I had that feeling big time...imagine having the TWINS when your firstborn was just 20 months... I really felt like I cheated Emma big time. But I think it mostly stemmed from some kind of fear that I wouldn't have enough love to go around. And it's just not true. I felt so overwhelmed by love for my new babies...and it was very clear from the beginning that Emma loved them too..and after just a few months it was clear that they loved her too... she could make them laugh more than anyone else! So all that love floating around made up big time for all of my divided attention, and the times when I had to tell Emma that "Mommy is busy right now." Now it's just so natural that my time is divided, that while I do try to give individual attention to my kids I can't always be there for each one 24-7, I think the transition will be much more natural for all of us. They already have to learn to share me...so what's one more kid?!!

 

I've heard that's common, though I admit I have never felt that way. I don't know. Perhaps a lot of it has to do with how we were raised? I'm the 4th of 5 and have never had expectations of getting all the energy, attn, etc, etc and never felt any less love. As a matter of fact, I consider siblings to be a great blessing so I feel as though I'm giving my first borns a great gift. Not that you don't think of this new baby as a new blessing, etc, but I hope you get what I mean.

 

I guess I don't feel like th egirls are getting cheated out of anything, I feel like I am being cheated out on my time with them. Because of my job situation and now I'm having to get a part-time job, there is ALL this time I could be spending with them that now I can't because I'll have to work more. Granted, I'll still ONLY be working 40 hours a week, which is normal for a working mother...however, since they were born, I've only worked part-time (in an office). Well, my part-time has actually been cut to ONLY 3 days of work, so i'm missing half my pay, which is the reason I'm picking up the 2nd job. So, I am jut really sad that I'm missing out on this extra time with them, especially with a new baby on the way. Does that make sense?

I think how you are feeling is completely normal!

 

I have sometimes thought that because I have twins I"m shortchanging one of them. I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. But, you will be fine. You will have enough love for everyone. It's not as if you are shortchanging them. That is all that matters in the end. :hug99: Just think of it this way.. they will have someone else to love!

 

That is definitely normal. I remember Mandy (mandylouwho) posting about it in the PC...

I don't feel that way, I guess I always wanted a big family... and I think the boys are really going to enjoy their new sister... plus since I am a sahm they will still have me 24/7

 

MINE WAS OPPOSITE.. I WANTED MY SON TO HAVE A BROTHER OR SISTER.. I GOT BOTH!

I FEEL THAT GIVING HIM A SIBLING/S GIVES HIM MUCH MORE THAN I COULD DO FOR HIM..

SURE WHEN HES ADVANCED BUT NOT BEING STIMULATED.. I FEEL GUILTY.. BUT HEY..
THE DECISION WAS MADE.. FOR ME ATLEST?

 

We planned to have another baby, but when I found out I was prego, my first reaction was "yahoo!!", then I thought, "what did we just do?". I'm over it now, but it I did go thru a lot of different emotions with the new baby on the way. In the end, I remembered I came from a family with 4 siblings, and I think siblings are great too. Chloe and Cole are going to be just fine and playing will be twice as fun with another sibling.

 

Yep, I did feel like this when we found out I was pregnant with Jax. For me, it was guilt that they were so little (11 mos.) and I was already "replacing" them as my babies. This thought didn't last long because as I became more comfortable with the idea, I was sure I'd have enough love for everyone. And I do! Totally understandable, though.

 

I cried for the first two weeks of this pregnancy b/c i swore that i would be shorting the boys b/c i wouldnt be able to get down and play with them and spend time and give them the attention that they need to "grow" and stuff. I'm finding that i can still do this now, and honestly, they'll always be my beautiful little boys - i'll just have another one too. I still feel like that sometime that i'm shorting them but i think that everything happens for a reason....if i knew what that reason was maybe i would feel a heck of a lot better but i'm sure there is one.

Amanda

 

In a way, I actually feel quite the opposite. I feel like I am giving them something but that I am short-changing this baby. I've had to return to working FT and he won't get all of that wonderful time with his Mommy that the girls got. He won't get to have our "day out with Mommy lunches" and weekly trips to the zoo, and taking off at the drop of a hate during a weekday to do whatever struck our fancy and sleeping in and I could go on and on. But, unfortunately, it's what I have to do and I'm sure he won't understand what he didn't have but I will. Does that make any sense?

 

I also feel like Jennie. I worry that this baby will be shortchanged.
Already I feel since I found out I was pregnant I haven't even had the time to think about it, let it sink in. The girls are keeping me so busy. When I was pregnant with the girls I spent so much energy thinking and daydreaming about them, meditating and well wishing them. If this pregnancy is uneventful I don't think i'll even have time to notice it.
Also, I'm afraid I won't coddle the new baby as much as I did the girls because it just won't be possible with their needs having to be met as well. for example dh and i are already joking that this one will cio from day one because we just can't take anymore sleepless nights
I was on maternity leave the first year of their life and now they have started day care I will go back to work. The same thing will happen for the new baby. I have leave from when I'm 7 months pregnant till 13 months after the baby is born so he or she will have all my attention during the day time but in the afternoon when the girls are around it will be split among them.
i try to think that each child only knows the reality they are born into and if you love them they see that reality as the best there is