Do your twins get along?

My guys really don't get along. I keep reading about how twins are "best friends" and all mine seem to do is fight. Occasionally, they will play with each other, but it's not common. I know developmentally they are not expected to "play" with other children until around 2 but I just thought it was different with twins. They are ID, too. I would have thought for sure they would love each other to pieces. I'm the only mom I know with this situation and I just wanted to hear if there were others like this and if they grew out of it.

 

I have no advice, but just wanted you to know you're not alone. My "alpha" twin is just flat out mean to the other one at times. Grabbing toys, pulling hair, hitting. The ironic thing is, she won't let anyone else bother her sister and is very protective.

I'd be interested to see if things changed for others.

Best,
Mia

 

Mine seem to generally like each other, but that doesn't mean they don't fight all the time! I think kids this age tend to think of each other as:
- competition for mom's attention
- competition for all the good toys
- something that is always getting in your way
- something to experiment on (which of course does not make the other child happy either!)

They don't really have a concept of "friend" yet. But most moms of older twins that I know have sworn to me that it does happen.

 

My girls were not that "into" each other at that age yet. They didn't fight that often, but they were kind of just cohabitants in the same room playing. Not really interacting. About 2 years old this all changed. I can leave them in another part of the house and they will play for hours at a time communicating, sharing, and teaching each other how to do things. It is WONDERFUL!!! When are girls were that age we just encouraged sharing and playing together as much as possible. We thought it was for nothing, but now I can really seeing it paying off.

 

My boys were constantly picking on each other when they were that age. We had a few peaceful moments when it seemed like they tolerated each other, but I asked myself the same question you're asking. They have gotten closer as they've gotten older, but still aren't best friends. My one DS is actually closer to his younger sister, they can play together for hours!

The only time my boys were really close, was bedtime. For whatever reason even if they had been fighting all day long, they wanted to share a bed at night. We tried separating them and they were having none of it. They are just now starting to sleep in their own beds. It was a nice sight to see them cuddled up to each other.

They will defend each other if DH or I are punishing them or another child is picking on one, but them right back to bickering

 

My girls get along most of the time, but its very common for them to fight over toys, mostly books right now, or steal them from each other. Of course that sends the other one into a frenzy, but they generally just cry if the other takes something away, luckily they haven't started hitting or pushing yet.

They do tend to stick pretty close to each other, though. Even though they aren't actually interacting, one will get a book and sit against the wall and the other one will sit right next to the 1st one with her own book.

 

I could have written Minette's post.
My girls do love each other and show concern when one is hurt or sick and even when the other one gets in trouble. They fight over toys all the time and when they are tired all it takes is for them to look at each other and it becomes a fight. But they do play together more and more. I think playing together started to pick up around 2, so there is hope for you. When I'm able to give them opportunities to spend time apart they tend to get along better for a while after that. My girls sleep in the same bed and won't go to bed with out the other one. But I'm not surprised by fights between two people who spend 24 hours a day together!

 

I guess there's a little hope. My cousin has ID twin boys that they finally had to separate at night because they were constantly fighting (they were 5 years old). I guess I'm nervous they're going down the same path but they really dn't have any choice but to share a room so I guess they'll just have to learn to get along My boys show no conern for each other, but when I tell Matt to give Will a kiss, he'll go over and do it, soooo....I guess it's a glimmer of hope Thanks for sharing your stories.

 

My twins were more aggressive with each other at that age but still seemed to like each other. I had one who whenever she got mad, even if her sister was nowhere around, she would hunt her sister down and hit her! It's just a phase. They did not share as easily and if they got upset with each other were much more likely to hit/bite/etc than they are now and more likely to act out against each other than a strange kid. Strange kids they would just run and cry. They still hugged and kissed each other and showed concern for each other, but it wasn't like it is now.

Now they are totally best friends. They play and laugh together all day and their fights are very mild and mostly verbal.They team up against other kids and if one notices her sister having an issue with another child, she'll come running fussing at the kid and wagging her finger at him or her. Poor kid soon has two girls scolding him from either side with mean faces! I love watching them play and interact together but I'm hoping eventually they'll also start to let other children into their circle a little more too.

 

Hey Alison-

Mine are identical too and I could have written your post! I was beginning to think I was the only one that had sisters that were so mena to each other They used to cuddle and laugh at each other and play hide and seek, now it seems like all they want to do is fight with each other for attention or over the ONE toy that they both want. I hope this phase ends soon and they start being more lovey again. I guess the pp is right, if you are with someone 24 hours a day you would get sick of them too!

I have thought about maybe separating them and having them play in different rooms so they won't fight over the same toys. Another thing I thought was having one of us (me and my husband) taking one out alone but that's hard at this stage. I try and give them one on one time but they do get jealous. Another thing maybe try and make them laugh at each other more. Me and my husband will take one baby and play "fly" the other one into each other and they LOVE it...they laugh like crazy and they usually end up cuddling by the end even if they were fighting 2 mintues before that! HTH! Just wanted you to know we are in the same boat here

 

Suprisingly yes they do! They have there moments but were loving that their friends. My oldest 2dd's have been fighting since they were ble to. They drive me nuts!! We were just saying how nice it is to have 2 of our children actually like each other!

 

They hug, kiss, and snuggle but they also fight, bite and pick on each other. I don't think they fight more than normal siblings though(they are id).

 

Ali, for the most part mine get along great. They do fight over stuff and get upset etc., but mostly they really just do fine together. I'm sorry you are dealing with this! I think they will grow out of it!

 

They fight more than get along, always a conflict. Totally different persons. The preschool teacher says let them fight otherwise they wont learn how to work out the problems by themselves if we always intervine.

Joy