Do your kids allow you to do lifes daily task?

My kids are up my butt all day.
We have 2 very large bedrooms that we've split into a "his" and "hers". My sons room has all the boy toys " cars, basketball hoop, puzzles, mr. potato head, bowling etc) my daughters room has all the " babies, dollhouses, kitchen stuff, dress up etc". Then in the living room we have things like Legos, stackable blocks, books etc.

Im finding it impossible to do things like make my bed, the dishes, the laundry, make grocery list etc. Everytime I try to take 5 minutes to do anything they are doing something they shouldnt! I tried to organize their books today (so I could get the paperbooks out of the babies reach) and while I was doing that I put them up at the island and gave them some art supplies to play with ((paper/markers, stickers, and a water paint book.- you literally dip your finger in just water and then move your finger around on the page and color shows up). Anyway I got done with the books (which were 15 feet away?) to find that my son had been running back and forth to the bathroom filling up his water bowl and dumping it all over the counter. The entire island was soaked. the water was dripping on the floor and the art supplies were waterlogged.

As I type this now Ive got 2 girls hanging on my thighs. why wont they GO PLAY?! Im not sure how much longer I can do this. I may have to start locking them in their rooms 20 minutes a day so I can accomplish something!

 

Mine are UP MY BUTT AND AROUND THE CORNER 24-7 and lately it has just gotten to the point where I either get drunk at noon or I just start crying. I seriously can't take much more of it. I don't have the personality for it. I can't have two people sewn to my body like this who are whining and needing me to do something or LOOK FOR SOMETHING (my pet peeve) all day long.

So, yes. In fact, I want to get help for this problem cuz I really feel it's a SERIOUS one and I lose sleep over it. I don't even think it's normal cuz it's THAT bad!

I got up at five this morning just to find swimming lessons AND dance classes to start for them cuz I can't do the up my butt routine any longer. WE soooo can't afford it but I'm losing it.

So ya.

To answer your question my friend-- I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO completely there and gone. It's never been like this before. Mine don't even have time to get into crap cuz they're saddled up soo tight to my crotch!

When I hear about other kids playing nicely I just shudder cuz mine will have nothing to do with it. nada. I don't know what to do. I want to buy toys for Xmas that they will play w/ so they'll actually leave me alone but I don't even think that will work.

 

:hug: ladies!
I actually tell my kids that Mommy needs some quiet time right now and to please color/read/occupy oneself in a non-destructive manner (in other words me keeping them away from things that cause mass chaos). I hate to say that I do this, but my kids are totally obsessed with Charlie Brown and I will put on a Charlie Brown holiday special for them to watch so I can get some time to get some things done around the house. And if it's something that they can help me with like sweeping, I'll have them help me.
My two start a tot rec program for 2 days a week in January and I think this will help my piece of mind.
I do have to say that for the most part my kids do play well together and usually do not like for me to be involved but we do have days where they are like my little ducklings and every where I go, they go too.

 

I am so there with you! Love the kids but they will NOT leave me alone. ever. We are still obsessed with dressing up in our Halloween costumes and they keep them on for 1 minute and feel the need to change. Any new toys they got for their birthday they want me to do with them, they will not play independently. Then there is sending them to go potty, looking for missing things, someone gets hurt.... If I do send them to the basement so I can do something it becomes destructive if I am not playing with them. I get less done now than when they were 2 and would get totally absorbed in what they were playing and ignore me. I know it will get better, but for now I'm going crazy most of the time too. It makes me so mean, I just need a minute to think sometimes! I'm losing things left and right because I'm so scatterbrained with this phase.

 

Sigh I have only one answer for you... TV. And a lot of baby proofing. Even then they still get into stuff, but I manage to get some things done, although they often end up 'helping'. They actually help unloading the dishwasher, for the rest I do it when they are napping or when their EI therapists are here.

 

If my DS would watch TV that might work LOL. DD is the only one who will watch. Forget babyproofing they are able to climb the walls, figure out all the locks etc. In fact my DH had to put door chains up 6 inches from the top of our house doors to keep them from going outside on their own!

 

:hug: :hug: We still have a playroom that I put a gate up at every morning and they go in and eat a snack, watch a little tv and then play. It gives me at least an hour every morning to get stuff done. I would seriously lock them in the room, you need that break and they have to learn to play by themselves. I walk by and say hi and check on them but they know I'm not coming in until I'm done with my "chores". They now even ask me, "mom, are you done with your chores yet? " "nope, not yet" , "okay, good job mommy.". It's wonderful! Good luck!

 

Sounds like my boys. They've been like that since about a year old. In some ways it's better now because they do spend a few minutes here and there playing with toys, and they have started playing with each other. On the other hand, they can climb over the baby gate, and defeat lots of our baby proofing. The past couple weeks has been particularly bad. Dh and I are just itching to send them to the Grandparents for the upcoming holiday.

 

Here's what works (or sometimes works) at our house:

1. Routine. My girls know that every morning after breakfast we play together. I pick a fun activity (stickers one day, painting the next, dress up the third, etc.) and I actively play with them. After 30 minutes or so they know that Mom has to go do her "work". We do this every single day so they know what to expect. During my hour of housework they play by themselves wherever they want. Usually they dump entire bins of dress up clothes or dolls out and drag things all over the house, but that's OK. They'll check in with me or I with them, but they know that Mom's off limits.

2. I can't hear them if they whine. Silly, yes... but effective. So if a sentence starts with "But Mommy..." or is spoken in a whiny tone of voice, I ignore them. It's taken almost a month, but they've pretty much figured out that I'm not going to give in when they whine.

3. I will admit that my kids aren't willfully destructive. We do have water spills, but usually that's because the teapot is filled too high, not that someone decided to create an ocean on the counter. So my suggestions above may do nothing for those of you with more spirited kids than mine.

PS. Rachael's response made me realize that I didn't specify... I'm a WOHM too. My girls are in preschool from 8:30 - 3 four days a week. I'm sure the routine and expectations in preschool help with the situation at home. And Rachael's right. Kids love to delight us, and can frequently do more than we expect... it didn't take very many days of explaining what the AM plan was for my girls to get into it. Many mornings they tell me they have work to do too, and will pretend to clean up or go to their office or whatever while DH and I do our chores.

 

I'm a WOHM and our weekends lack routine, but I still agree with idril. I'd use the word boundaries though. This may sound silly, but have you tried telling them that they need to go play in the other room while you do your chores? And then reinforcing as necessary. I really believe that kids will generally rise to the expectations set. Lots of positive reinforcement and reminders works well. And the more they play by themselves, the more they learn to play by themselves. So I would suggest talking to them.

 

Wow. I like idril's advice. I may have to do #1! My boys play relatively well together. Anthony plays REALLY well alone. It's when his two siblings join him that mass chaos ensues! LOL! And Annabella being the baby, she wants to do all that they do, so she tends to get in the middle of everything, thus making the other two mad, and well, it's a domino effect there on out. I like the idea of playing with them first thing in the morning, and then going to do chores. I may just try to implent this in the morning! Thanks!

That said, I usually am able to get things done. They enjoy watching Curious George/Cat in the Hat in the morning. It's really Annabella who is all over me. And that drives me BATTY! I seriously have to give her a cracker or something just to keep her quiet(how awful is that?!?!). She's NOTHING like the boys were!! ACK!

 

I would definitely agree with routine that includes play alone time and play with mommy time. Timers are a wonderful thing for reinforcing changing activities.

Something I found out when mine were that age is that my wording choice very directly influenced what happened. I had to be very specific. Too many choices were (and still are overwhelming). If I said "go play", that translated to stay glued to mommy. If I said "why don't you sit on your couch and look at these books", I got two kids looking through books. If I needed to leave the room, I usually went with "mommy needs to move laundry. Can you build me something with these blocks to surprise me when I get back?" Very specific directed activity requests were the key to getting mine started on independent play.

Also, 5 mins of quality time could usually buy me 15 mins of "working time". If I sat and did a couple of puzzles, they were happy to let me go do my chores. I also had toy vacuums and brooms they could use to help.

Hope something of this works.

Marissa

 

Thanks for the advice! I need to keep a running list of all of these! LOL!

 

I'm sorry I'm a SAHM with my 4 and I can totally understand the frustration...even anger at times, of just wanting them to leave you alone. I find that I am always in the process of cleaning the house and by the time I have put them all to bed the house looks like I haven't cleaned in weeks. Then I go to bed knowing full well that tomorrow will be the same as today. I think that this stage in life is just hard and, honestly, I think that expectations for what can be done during the day needs to be lowered. If the kids are fed and clean and content (for the most part) then my day has been a successful one and the pile of dishes and laundry can wait for another day. There are days when the kids play well together and I can get more done and there are days when they are all cranky and in need of extra attention and that is ok too. I'm learning that lowering the expectations that I have for myself during the day actually benefits my children more. I don't know. I wish I was perfect and had it all together and my kids were always angels and listened to me all the time. I say celebrate the things that you do accomplish during the day, no matter how small, because sometimes simple things are hard.