Do you wake your s.o for nighttime feedings?

Thought about this questions when reading about sleeping arrangements in another thread....for those who have had their twins did you for the most part always have your husband/significant other wake up for all the night time feedings along with you? For those who are going to be having twins, do you plan on waking them up so they can help?

When I had my girls, single babies, I never woke up their father. Would take the baby to the living room. But what happens with two? I just hate the idea of my husband being up through out the night then getting up and working all day. Am I asking too much to ask for help in the middle of the night?

Would love to hear everyone thoughts and how they handled it.


Dianna

 

When I was out on maternity leave, I tried to do the feedings myself. If one just couldn't wait, then I woke him. After I went back to work we tag teamed it. He would take the first night shift and I would take the second.

GL with your babies!

 

good question! it will be very hard for you to manage 2 babies with no help and im sure DH does understand he will need to help until u can get a good routine going-if u are BFing them both i would let dh in charge of diapers and burping-that would be the quickiest way for u all to get back to sleep

 

I don't plan to wake him if I can avoid it. I'm sure there will be times though...

 

For the first three weeks, dh was home. BUT, since I breastfed, I was up for all the wakings and he got up with me some. When he went back to work, I did all the feedings and he would only get up if BOTH woke up. This was how it worked out for the most part. Even though I worked all day, he had to drive to work and get paid for it... oh, and did I mention that if he doesn't get his sleep, he's grumpy and hard to get along with?

 

For the first 3 months, we were both up every time they fed (we both worked outside the home, so it was better to both be up, get it done, and then get back to sleep). At that time, though, it took an hour or more each time - and we changed the diapers each time. Now, I can breastfeed both in a matter of 20 minutes at the most since they are that efficient and no diaper changes, so I don't get my DH up unless I need help (like they are both hungry and I need to use the bed to tandem feed instead of the rocker to single feed, or the other day Naomi started screaming bloody murder at 3 am and I still don't know why). He usually rouses and knows I got out of bed, but some mornings he thinks they slept through and I've been up three times! (I stay home now, too).

I think you'll have to play it by ear and what works the best for your family.

Good luck.

Erica.

 

Yep!! Actually he got up on his own to help. He knew it was too hard to do by myself. He helped for every night time feeding except the one from 4:30am-? because he gets up at 4:30 for work and is gone by 5:30am, that is the only feeding he did not help with.

 

I plan to have my hubby help a LOT in the first week when he's home from work, I am definitely planning to breastfeed, so he won't be able to help with the feeding, but he can certainly change a diaper.

After that, I'll understand if he can't help as much, but I will absolutely wake him if I feel overwhelmed.

Heck, before I got pregnant i woke him up once to kill a cockroach--and that was nowhere near as overwhelming as feeding/burping/diapering two babies!!!

 

He got up with me for the first week home since I'd had a c-section and desperately needed the help. He did the diapers and helped me get them set up for nursing (tandem). Then he'd go back to sleep while they fed and I didn't need to wake him to put them back into the cosleeper. I did wake him on occasion after I was healed up when I was feeling overwhelmed but it was rare because he was such a grouch that it typically wasn't worth it for me.

 

I had a c/s, and I bfed exclusively. DH would get up and change them and bring them to me. Not having to get out of bed made a HUGE difference for me. He didn't stay awake for the feedings, but having him change the diapers and then hand me the baby was just priceless.

 

There were times with my other kids when I really needed help, so I'm sure with twins there will be even more of those times, at least until we get all settled in. My husband is taking 3 weeks off work to be home at first, so I'll get lots of help then. After that, I'm sure it will mainly be me up at night and I'm fine with that. He was pretty good with our sons about getting them changed and doing the hand off, so that would be nice sometimes! He's working full time and going to school full time (one more semester thank goodness!) so I know he needs sleep, but he's never had a problem with helping out at night if I need him to or when I kind of hit the wall and just need some good sleep!

 

I don't have a significant other to wake. I will be doing this on my own when they come out.

Mum said her significant other would poke her in the ribs and say hey the baby is awake lol.

 

So glad everyone is sharing Always great to get insight as to how others do things.


Dianna

 

I can't imagine waking my husband in the night. I don't work outside the home and we have an older son, so no toddlers to deal with, so I can also nap in the day. My husband owns his own business so his work is pretty stressful, plus he's in construction and with the way the economy is right now he needs to take all the work he can get. I figure that as long as he helps out in other ways that's a big help too. Like cooking dinner or even picking up take-out, doing the laundry, keeping the house tidy etc. Plus I am hiring a cleaner right now, there's no way I'll have time to clean the house or have the energy. My Mom is coming to stay with us for at least 2 months. She lives in England, so it's nice for her to spend some time with us. My husband loves my family so it's not a problem that she'll be here for so long. She'll be the one helping me in the night! As a few other people have mentioned, my husband would not be a lot of fun if he didn't get a decent nights sleep!

 

QUOTE(karenk2008 @ Nov 28 2007, 07:10 PM) [snapback]513006[/snapback]
I can't imagine waking my husband in the night. I don't work outside the home and we have an older son, so no toddlers to deal with, so I can also nap in the day. My husband owns his own business so his work is pretty stressful, plus he's in construction and with the way the economy is right now he needs to take all the work he can get. I figure that as long as he helps out in other ways that's a big help too. Like cooking dinner or even picking up take-out, doing the laundry, keeping the house tidy etc. Plus I am hiring a cleaner right now, there's no way I'll have time to clean the house or have the energy. My Mom is coming to stay with us for at least 2 months. She lives in England, so it's nice for her to spend some time with us. My husband loves my family so it's not a problem that she'll be here for so long. She'll be the one helping me in the night! As a few other people have mentioned, my husband would not be a lot of fun if he didn't get a decent nights sleep!

That sounds like us, but no other kids at home. Hubby is a carpenter, with his own business, gets very stressful.

Dianna

 

Are you going to BF? I think if I were BF'ing exclusively, I would not have (although he'd have never gone for that and gotten up at least a couple feedings to help change them, etc.)

I pumped and we bottle fed. So he took the first shift. I'd go to bed at 7pm and he'd wake me up at midnight to pump (he fed them around that time too). Any feeding after 2 am I took. He's a night owl and I am a morning person, this worked out great for us. We still do it this way, although mine rarely wake up at night anymore.

 

We formula fed the babies. In the very beginning, we both got up at night. Once DH went back to work, he would stay up and do the midnightish feeding and then I would do the wee hours feeding. My kids never really woke up at the same time, so I would get the one that woke up changed and fed then I would wake the other. By the time I went back to work they were both sleeping through the night.

 

DH and i did the feedings at nite together for the first month... Now i do them myself.. I prop their bottles and sit with them to make sure they arent choking, loosing their bottle or falling back asleep..
Who ever said that its wrong to prop bottles didnt have multiples!

I find that they fall asleep faster when we are not holding them and feeding them.. Also.. DD eats better when we are not holding her.. Weird..

 

QUOTE(Babies4Susan @ Nov 29 2007, 12:08 PM) [snapback]513736[/snapback]
Are you going to BF? I think if I were BF'ing exclusively, I would not have (although he'd have never gone for that and gotten up at least a couple feedings to help change them, etc.)

I pumped and we bottle fed. So he took the first shift. I'd go to bed at 7pm and he'd wake me up at midnight to pump (he fed them around that time too). Any feeding after 2 am I took. He's a night owl and I am a morning person, this worked out great for us. We still do it this way, although mine rarely wake up at night anymore.


No, will be formula/bottle feeding.

Dianna

 

Dh will have at least a couple weeks of paternity leave plus Christmas break (he works on a GM account- they shut down between christmas and new years) so he'll be home for 2-3 weeks and YES he will be getting up with me. I will be breastfeeding and pumping bm so he can get up with me. I'm not in this alone. Once he goes back to work we will attempt to make a schedule up where maybe I stay up a bit later and do a later feeding and then time it to where he can get up a bit earlier for work and do that feeding- giving us both a longer stretch of sleep. A friend of mine with twins does this with her DH and it works great for them. It took a few weeks to work out but now they each get at least 6 hours of straight sleep. We BOTH need to be rested- him for work and me for the day of taking care of 3 kids alone.

 

I'm only 6 weeks into this...but what we do is take shifts. I pump for the boys. At night we give them formula so it gives me a break from pumping...and we don't have to mess with waiting to warm up bottles with screaming babies...So I sleep from 8 pm to 2 am. I get up and pump when dh goes to bed. Whenever the boys wake up-I take care of them...even if they both want to feed at the same time...This way we both get 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. It's all a guessing game in the beginning...and about survival! You do what works best for you! Good luck!

 

yes, when we were doing those strict NICU three hour round the clock! he got off easy by going to work all day!!!! once they were on a set schedule and i was more confident then i started doing one or two night feedings alone, but, he would yell at me for doing it by myself! he is a good man!

 

DH and I both work full time and you bet I woke him every time. I still do if they wake up for some reason during the evening now. I don't have any qualms about throwing out a kick when that monitor goes off...

alexis

 

DH took three weeks off. For those three weeks, we worked together and both took a baby for the nighttime feedings. After he went back to work, he got up and changed diapers first while I prepped bottles. Then he helped set me up and I fed the babies and put them back down to sleep by myself. Once we got into a decent routine, maybe after 6 weeks or so, he helped with the midnight feeding and then I did the 3 am or 4 am feeding by myself.

I understand that DH was working and I was staying at home. But in all honesty, he was awesome and wanted to help. He never once complained or slept through crying. He knew that having twins was going to be a team effort.

 

Dh always woke up on his own but we had a nice system that wayI pump and we bottle feed so I would get up change Samuel and Damien and Dh would get the bottles warmed up then we would feed both boys and afterward I would pump. It worked well for us.

 

When I was pregnant my DH offered to do the first night time feeding alone. It worked well as I always got 6 straight hours sleep. I would do the 2nd feeding. We never had more than 2 a night.

By 5 weeks they were at 1 feeding (sleeping 8 hours straight) my DH kept his promise and did that 1 night feeding alone. By 8 weeks they were sleeping 12 hours and night time feedings were history.

In my twins first 4+ months of life I did about 35 night feedings and my DH about 56.

I pumped for the first 2 months and bottle fed it to them. I would pump 1 time a night right after I fed them. Once they were sleeping through, so was I and my milk dried up!

 

The babies are probably not going to be great eaters (in that it will be difficult to feed them) during the first month or so and you are going to want help if you can get it. Feeding newborns one at a time is slow work. For the first two months, Paul and I each took a baby during the night shift. Once they were about 2 months old, I could feed them both by myself.

 

QUOTE(JicJac @ Nov 28 2007, 09:38 PM) [snapback]512831[/snapback]
For the first three weeks, dh was home. BUT, since I breastfed, I was up for all the wakings and he got up with me some.


That's exactly what we did. Once DH went back to work, he even slept in a different room so I could use the entire bed (and he could also not be woken up! ) to tandem BF. Worked out really well that way for us. At night, he'd help with the diaperings and burpings after our 10pm feed, I'd do the 1am and 4am solo, and then he'd be awake and ready to do diaperings and burpings after the 7am nursing.

You'll find something that works well for your family!