do you think babies love their moms the most?

i was jut having an interesting conversation with my MIL about this. do you think they are closest to their moms by nature?

 

They spent hopefully close to 9 months inside her, I would think that they'd know her voice, smell & feelings better than anyone else, at least at first. My dh could calm my dd better than I could after she got older. DS1&2 have always been momma's boys. Good question.

 

I think they are probably more connected to their moms in the beginning. Later on, they might become more attached to dad. I imagine they also might go through phases of preferring one parent over the other.

 

While they may have spent nine (+/-) months with mom prior to birth, I doubt that during any of that time babies possess sufficient neurological development to form much of a preference/bond. I would guess that if one parent were the primary caregiver / ‘stay at home’ parent there would be a good chance of a stronger bond forming with that parent versus the other. That said, our boys don’t seem to show a clear preference either way. Sometimes they want mom, sometimes they want dad, and we both get a lot of hugs and cuddles.

 

I agree. I don't think babies are capable of complex emotions like love, and I think the bond from the prenatal experience is a fleeting one, easily replaced with real life experience. My babies never really showed any preference for me, and my DD actually has a marked preference for my husband now, but it goes back and forth.

 

I agree. And coming from someone who has 4 kids who's faces light up when dad walks in the door, even being the primary caregiver doesn't gaurantee you the spotlight! :lol:

 

I think children are most often closest to their moms because they spend the most time with them. I don't think its a natural thing. My sister adopted her 7 month old and she clearly loves her mom the most. She already says mama when she is upset and looks around for my sister. My girls definitely prefer me to anyone, but they didn't before their father left for iraq. They preferred either one of us. I think whoever spends the most time with them knows what they like and what calms them.

 

I think my babies prefer me at the moment but that is probably because I smell like the buffet table to them. I do think that my son is going to be a bit of a mama's boy though. My daughter could care less so long as she's getting fed.

 

My DH is having a really hard time with this right now. He's been out of work so his self esteem is already a little shaky. They want me ALL the time, but he can get them to laugh like no one else. They love him too, just in a different way.

 

My two (well, all 5 really) are still more attached to me than my husband, probably because I'm the one that's here the most. I think babies probably bond with whoever is their primary caregiver, and their feelings will likely change over the years as they grow & have more experiences to draw from.

 

I think at the beginning we are not able to feel such complex feelings. But exist on basic instincts. Therefore babies are probably attached most to their mothers because we are the "primary caretakers".
Eventually they learn that we are their mommies and start feeling the love connection.

 

I think it depends what you mean when you say babies.

For the first weeks of their lives babies probably are more attatched to their mothers, especially if they're being breastfed (disclaimer: I'm not saying that if you bottle feed your babies won't be attached to you). I also agree with pp that at this stage, for the babies, it really isn't about love but about getting their needs met.
After that I think who they are most attached to really depends on the environment they live in. The person they turn to for comfort at times of stress is likely to be their primary caregiver, but that doesn't mean they love that person most. The very fact that they don't see some people as much can be part of that persons attraction (that they are different and exciting).

 

I agree that babies are attached to their primary caregiver be it their mother or another person. I know a woman who has twins but has decided to contimue with her full time job. So she hired a housemaid/nanny who takes care also of the babies when their mother is at work. So once they began talking the twins start calling the housemaid/nanny "yaya" meaning "mamma" . Also, 2 years later after her housemaid contract ended she had to return to her country. However, the twins always still ask about her and want to speak with her over the phone.

 

ITA. DH and I both work full time, and for some reason Jack is more comforted by DH, and Nate by me. :unknw: This probably has more to do with temperament than how nurturing either of us are or who they "love" more.