Do you stay out with the twins past bedtime?

Lately, I've had several friends invite DH & I & the babies over for dinner. And we've been passing because the babies go to sleep at 7/7:30pm & I just don't want to mess with their bedtime (they are very newly STTN & I just really want to protect that because it's been a LOOOONG time coming!). One friend got upset with us & thought we were being unreasonable because we weren't willing to just put them down to sleep at her house while we were there. I'm all for doing that during naptime, but I'm hesitant for bedtime. If they were really good sleepers who could sleep anywhere & everywhere, I might re-think it....but I don't have those kind of babies! Anyway, I wonder if you think we are being unreasonable & if we should just try it & see what happens? All of our friends seem to think we've fallen off the face of the earth & while I do really, really want to get together with everyone & start socializing more, I also think they don't understand how hard having twins really is!

 

I dont think you are being unreasonable. We still have not been out past bedtime and my twins are 2. I am not willing to have to take care of 2 fussy, over-tired babies, that wont go to bed. I see no reason for it, so we dont do it. If we go to dinner we eat roughly about the same time we would at home and then get home to get them to bed. I wouldnt even think of putting the babies to bed at someone else's home then or now.

 

My BIL always invites us for dinner, and I just send dh. If we stay anywhere later than 6pm, the babies start screaming and after that bedtime is a nightmare.
I figure if they really want us over they'll make an effort to have dinner earlier, or invite us for lunch (which they did last week end but their schedule got messed up and they needed to go to bed earlier, so dh went alone anyway).

 

Over Christmas we spent the day at my aunt´s and neither baby could really settle as the house was new to them. We had to leave at 5.30pm as they had both had enough.

I dont think you´re being unreasonable either as I never interfere with mine going down at night. You know what´s best for your babies so best stick to that. Your friends will just have to wait a bit longer! Can you get your mum/MIL to babysit?

 

We've gone to our friends a few times and put the babies down for the night at their house and then we just put them in their carrier -- top them off when we get home with a bottle and then they go back to sleep. It's worked out fine for us.

 

We have braved it twice. The first time was an absolute disaster - they normally go down without a fuss at 7:30. We put them down in pack and plays at my MILs house and it took them a very long time to go to sleep and then we woke them up at 9:30 to take them home and they were not happy about it, but fell asleep in their carseats again. Then when we got them home we managed to get one in and into bed without waking him up. The other woke up the second we opened the door and pretty much refused to go to sleep from 10pm to midnight which of course woke his brother up so we had 2 babies up to play for 2 hours. It really sucked.

We did it again not too long ago with much better success. They fussed, but did go down within about 5 minutes of getting home though we woke both up getting them out of their carseats and jackets.

We really try not to keep them out past their bedtime and frequently pass on invites which would put us in that position. When people call and ask to do something that late I try to suggest that we could come if it were earlier, or as a pp suggested lunch instead. Most people who really want you there are willing to accomodate.

 

One other thing that has worked for us is to have a late dinner, too. We get a baby sitter to come about 20 minutes after bedtime when they are already asleep. Our kiddos really never wake up once they are down so she pretty much just sits and watches a DVD or reads a book while the babies sleep, and we get to enjoy time with our friends without chasing the babies around. Thus far it has worked out really well for eveyone!

 

We've only recently done this a few times...and only at my inlaws or relative's homes...we do put the babies down to sleep, and they are usually ok. We gently wake them up to bring them home, and they go back to sleep pretty easily. When they were younger, this was impossible, but on the rare occassion, we do it. They sleep on the beds at the house we're at (with pillows all around), and I constantly keep my eye on them.

 

depending on the situation we've done both options - take the babies with us, or have a babysitter come over shortly after they go to bed. if we do take the girls with us, it's with the understanding that if they're melting down, we may have to cut our evening short. so far they've been pretty good though. we have pea pod travel beds that we use when we take the girls with us. i don't like to go out too often though as even on a good night, it's still disruptive to them. all that being said, i don't think you're being unreasonable at all! you know your babies best, and if it's too disruptive for them to sleep elsewhere than it's important to protect their sleep.

 

NOPE… I either have people over to our house or get a sitter after they go down… my sitter could put them down w/out me fine, BUT that is my favorite part of the day :hug: … I don’t care to miss that goodnight kiss for anything :air_kiss: , as I know these days are limited :cry: … good friend will ALWAYS be there :drinks: …

Elizabeth

 

I've only kept the babies out past bedtime a couple of times in their lives. Normally, if we get invited somewhere around dinner time, my DH either goes without me or we drive separately so I can have the babies home in time for their bedtime. This is what we had to do for Christmas because my MIL didn't even start her party until 4 pm. I've stopped caring whether people get irritated with me about it. They haven't lived a day in my shoes.

 

Yes, all the time. It's not fair to my oldest DD to stop doing some of the things we used to do just so the babies can sleep. In return, the babies have become very good sleepers. We just bring their jammies and feed them before we head home. They fall asleep in the car on the way home and we just put them right in their cribs when we get home. They are rockstar sleepers for the most part! They have learned to be flexible so we can go on with our everyday lives.

 

I almost never did. Once or twice, we tried it, and it was not fun. I even posted here once, asking if I should try going out to a 4th of July party at DH's friend's house and putting my twins (then about 7 months old) to sleep at someone else's house -- several people said "Sure, we do it all the time!" but I tried it and it was a disaster. After half an hour of rocking screaming babies (fortunately in a bedroom far away from where the party was), I gave up and took them home by myself while DH stayed at the party.

We would occasionally push bedtime a little (after 6 months or so, when we felt like things were more under control in our lives), but not to the point of putting them to sleep somewhere other than our house. Maybe if we had older children, as PP said, we would have had to figure it out, but for us it was never worth it. We did OK with having people over to our house, as long as we knew them well enough that we felt OK leaving them on their own for 20 minutes while we put the kids to bed.

 

Mine are 15 months old and I have not and cannot think of anything important enough for me to do this.

It's just NOT worth it. Heck, I've never and will never even done it for a nap. NO WAY! Not enough benefit for the cost for me.

Nope.

People who don't have multiples are not allowed to judge what we do. They cannot possibly understand how hard it is to deal w/ the fallout of missing/messing with bedtime/nap.

No way! I don't see myself ever doing it. I'd sooner get a sitter and I haven't even done THAT!!!!

Call me crazy but I'm okay with my "new" life. I rather enjoy it and adapted quite well. I stay home cuz that's just easier.

My friends w/ singletons do it every week w/ no sweat.

 

We've done it numerous times. DH and I are social people, and don't like feeling tied down to our house. We take the pack n' plays, or the pea pods, and put the babies down at someone else's house, move them to their carseats when we are headed home, and then move them to their cribs. Sometimes I give them another bottle if they wake up, but usually they fall right to sleep in their carseats and their cribs. We did the same thing when DS was an infant/toddler.

 

we visited relatives over christmas and went to several evening get-togethers. we brought sleeping accommodations and bottles and put them down in one of the bedrooms at the appropriate time. it helped that we use a white noise machine so we set it up wherever they were going to sleep and it sort of "normalized" the space for them.

 

QUOTE(jkk922 @ Jan 15 2009, 10:37 AM) [snapback]1148250[/snapback]
One friend got upset with us & thought we were being unreasonable because we weren't willing to just put them down to sleep at her house while we were there.


Sounds like this friend doesn't have any kids. If she did, I'll bet she would understand.

I waited until my DS was about 1 y/o before messing with his bedtime. It seemed whenever I messed with his, he messed with mine.

 

QUOTE(piccologirl @ Jan 15 2009, 12:18 PM) [snapback]1148629[/snapback]
it helped that we use a white noise machine so we set it up wherever they were going to sleep and it sort of "normalized" the space for them.


we do this too! i forgot to mention that in my other post.

 

Very rarely! Ours go down around 7pm and the times we have kept them out past their bedtime were just miserable. They are extremely flexible about naps thought! DH and I tend to see our friends during weekend days or we go out individually or get a babysitter.