Do You Practice Attachment Parenting?

According to Dr. Sear's, The Baby Book, we practice a lot of the AP techniques, although we read and take info. from other books. We even cloth diaper as many AP parents do, but for us it was an economical solution and DD is sensitive to getting rashes with disposables it seems. I'm just curious, do you practice AP and how do you implement this parenting style for your children? TIA .

 

Yes we do and we also have a fabulous local AP group that I am very active in. We are one of the largest and most active groups.
Here is some info for those that are curious! http://www.attachmentparenting.org/support.shtml

 

We are an AP family, though we don't cloth diaper we extended nursing, cosleeping and positive discipline.

 

We are an AP family also. Mine are older, but we cloth diapered, wore our kids, coslept and practiced gentle discipline. We still practice the same gentle discipline techniques and the occasional babywearing (though not babies now!).

 

Nope, not at all -- it doesn't fit our personalities in the least.

That being said, I have cloth diapered, breast-fed, and do not spank (I don't know what else gentle discipline encompasses). I own and use an Ergo carrier -- but, the basic tenets of baby-wearing and co-sleeping -- definitely not for us!

 

I didn't know what attachment parenting was when I had the boys but I'm very much a "follow your instincts" type of parent. I haven't read a single parenting book even though I read everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy and FY infant development. I guess I don't see the point of reading parenting manuals because the "experts" inevitably tell you that you know your child best and you should do what works for you. In reading the description of attachment parenting, I'd say my instincts lead me to follow it pretty closely. We CD, didn't use CIO to get them to sleep through, they're still breastfeeding, they get a great deal of physical contact from both DH & I, and we practice gentle discipline with positive reinforcement. We don't cosleep (DH was taught a very different parenting style and really struggles with my way of doing things so we had to have a compromise on this one) but I use a monitor and do go to them at night if they cry.

 

QUOTE(debid @ Jan 2 2008, 10:03 PM) [snapback]555375[/snapback]
I didn't know what attachment parenting was when I had the boys but I'm very much a "follow your instincts" type of parent. I haven't read a single parenting book even though I read everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy and FY infant development. I guess I don't see the point of reading parenting manuals because the "experts" inevitably tell you that you know your child best and you should do what works for you. In reading the description of attachment parenting, I'd say my instincts lead me to follow it pretty closely. We CD, didn't use CIO to get them to sleep through, they're still breastfeeding, they get a great deal of physical contact from both DH & I, and we practice gentle discipline with positive reinforcement. We don't cosleep (DH was taught a very different parenting style and really struggles with my way of doing things so we had to have a compromise on this one) but I use a monitor and do go to them at night if they cry.


I didn't know what AP was either and like you, felt like i was a more instinctual mom than a manual-reading mom. My kids were a few months old when someone suggested Dr. Sears book to me so I checked it out at the library and it pretty much described our parenting style to a T! And really, if someone had suggested cloth diapers, baby wearing, co sleeping etc during my pregnancy, I'd have probably laughed at them! But once we finally got them home and healthy, it just felt right

 

QUOTE(Becca34 @ Jan 2 2008, 10:01 PM) [snapback]555373[/snapback]
Nope, not at all -- it doesn't fit our personalities in the least.

That being said, I have cloth diapered, breast-fed, and do not spank (I don't know what else gentle discipline encompasses). I own and use an Ergo carrier -- but, the basic tenets of baby-wearing and co-sleeping -- definitely not for us!



Same here. I got the Baby Book for Xmas and have been reading it and it just doesn't seem to fit with our family. I do carry my girls around in a baby bjorn frequently, but I think that's the only part of it that really works for my family!

 

QUOTE(Appymomma @ Jan 2 2008, 04:24 PM) [snapback]554708[/snapback]
Yes we do and we also have a fabulous local AP group that I am very active in. We are one of the largest and most active groups.
Here is some info for those that are curious! http://www.attachmentparenting.org/support.shtml


I hadn't heard of this. I find it very interesting. Thank you for sharing the website, I will try to use some of the techniques


amanda

 

I hate the AP label! My kiddos co sleep, breastfeed for 2.5-3.5 years, wear cloth diapers, are non or delayed vaxed, etc. I try to be mindful of their needs versus those of the family and to be gentle with all people. I've worn out multiple slings over the past 8 years. All the things that are on the checklist of the AP crowd. But I would never use that label for myself. I'm just a mom trying to do the best for her kids while balancing the needs of the family. And I struggle daily.

 

Thats interesting that so many don't like the AP label... AP was not apart of my vocabulary when my oldest was a baby, I just did what felt right. My issue with most AP-ers are they seem to be very judgemental about what others do and that bothers me. I don't mind the label just o I can identify with people who do things somewhat like how I manage.. for example co-sleeping with twins. I needed help with logistics so I went to an AP board because they would have BTDT.

 

hmmm...never even heard of it before I read this thread! LOL! We just do what works for us...in the early months that usually means a lot of holding and with this one co-sleeping. But I have never tried a sling...don't know that I'm coordinated enough for it. And honestly, if I can find non-holding ways to comfort my infant I do it...just b/c my muscles get really tired of holding a baby, and I have 3 other kids that need some occasionl holding too. We don't cloth diaper and we do spank starting somewhere around 18 months. So I guess I totally fail the AP label! LOL! That being said, my kids are all very "attached" to me!!

 

I like to think I am an AP parent. I was only able to bf for 4 months and started to dry up (for various reasons) so I had to quit, but my intentions were to go until they were 2 or later. I couldnt sling my babies b/c of my many medical problems, nor could I co-sleep for the same reasons. But we do eat organic, whole foods, we dont vaccinate, and we believe in gentle disipline. When they were little, we never fed bottles at the same time, each baby got their own love and attention by the parent. We held my girls as much as possible and tried to stay away from the "toys" for infants (swings, bouncers, etc.) although we did use them but rarely. We do not believe in ear piercings or anything of the like until the child is old enough to make that decision for themselves. I dont follow a book, just my instincts....

 

Some stuff I do overlaps with AP. I BF on demand, plan to nurse until the babies wean themselves, and waited until 6 months to do solids... But these things aren't exclusive AP territory; it's just in line with AAP/WHO/etc guidelines. I CD the babies, but for $$$ reasons and because I think cloth dipes are cute. We use Bjorns plenty, but for practical, not philosophical reasons - keep babies happy so we can get chores done, or get out for a walk when it's a little too cold to put them in the stroller.

And some stuff I do is very un-AP: the babies sleep in cribs, and we did CIO to teach them to go to sleep on their own (though I'm not comfortable with doing it to eliminate night feedings just yet). They've been getting vaxed right on schedule and will continue to do so. Etc.

I have no idea yet what I'll do for discipline! We'll cross that bridge when we get there...

 

Is it possible to practice true attachment parenting when you're home alone with your babies all day long?

 

QUOTE(debid @ Jan 2 2008, 11:03 PM) [snapback]555375[/snapback]
I didn't know what attachment parenting was when I had the boys but I'm very much a "follow your instincts" type of parent. I haven't read a single parenting book even though I read everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy and FY infant development. I guess I don't see the point of reading parenting manuals because the "experts" inevitably tell you that you know your child best and you should do what works for you. In reading the description of attachment parenting, I'd say my instincts lead me to follow it pretty closely. We CD, didn't use CIO to get them to sleep through, they're still breastfeeding, they get a great deal of physical contact from both DH & I, and we practice gentle discipline with positive reinforcement. We don't cosleep (DH was taught a very different parenting style and really struggles with my way of doing things so we had to have a compromise on this one) but I use a monitor and do go to them at night if they cry.


Exactly that! Minus CD'ing, though. I AM planning on cloth diapering my next child, though. Right now, we will in a small apartment with no washer/dryer, and it just isn't feasible at this moment to CD. I do not co-sleep at all (anymore), but I do monitor very closely with video, angel care monitor and sound and go to them if they cry. When we go out in public, or to family parties, I admit to being very protective of them, but mostly because they are preemies. I want to keep them to my DH and I all the time and we only feed them...I don't like others feeding them because they feed best with me, or DH. People always accuse me of being over-protective and too "attached" (I don't get that, because of course I am attached to them, they are my children!) I also don't believe in spanking or aggressive discipline either, but that really is a personal choice and I chose that without researching AP. Heck, didn't even know what AP was until a short time ago, lol, I don't read parenting books because like the person I quoted, I do what I feel is best for my children and go with my instincts, whether or not it is a "bad" choice to others.

I did wait until 6 months for solids, we do eat organic/whole foods here, but I've been doing that since I was 17 years old (vegetarian/organic) so it's been quite some time for me. I don't mind if the kids don't want to be vegetarian, I am fine with that and I won't make them be so. I also feed on demand, too.

I do vaccinate and we are doing it by the pedi's schedule. I know many (or most) AP moms/families do not.

That being said, I also don't push my parentng style on anyone else either, and I don't comment on others as well. I just feel that is rude, unless the person is outright physically abusing their children, then that's a different story.

 

I think there's a lot of overlap but also a lot of confusion between Attachment Parenting (AP) and Natural Family Living (NFL). All the organic food, cloth diapering, non-vax stuff falls under NFL to me, whereas co-sleeping, extended BFing (although that one overlaps more to my mind than the others), gentle discipline, etc. are more of what I believe the AP label is about.

We're as AP as I can manage to be with twins. We do not let our children CIO, we practice gentle discipline, we co-sleep when they want/need to. I was unable to get them to nurse effectively but I pumped for them for 18 months (actually I guess that would be more NFL to me because it wasn't really promoting attachement - it was all about health benefits).

I think the problem with the AP label is that by choosing the term "attachment" the movement naturally alienates people who don't agree with it by implying that they are "detachment"-oriented.

 

QUOTE(betseeee @ Jan 4 2008, 02:15 AM) [snapback]556658[/snapback]
I think there's a lot of overlap but also a lot of confusion between Attachment Parenting (AP) and Natural Family Living (NFL). All the organic food, cloth diapering, non-vax stuff falls under NFL to me, whereas co-sleeping, extended BFing (although that one overlaps more to my mind than the others), gentle discipline, etc. are more of what I believe the AP label is about.

We're as AP as I can manage to be with twins. We do not let our children CIO, we practice gentle discipline, we co-sleep when they want/need to. I was unable to get them to nurse effectively but I pumped for them for 18 months (actually I guess that would be more NFL to me because it wasn't really promoting attachement - it was all about health benefits).

I think the problem with the AP label is that by choosing the term "attachment" the movement naturally alienates people who don't agree with it by implying that they are "detachment"-oriented.


I have to agree with you. Alot of people who are NFL are lumped together with AP. I posted above, but I am more NFL, then AP even though some things are AP and NFL living combined. I dont try to claim that I am one way or the other, I just go by my instincts and try my best to keep my kids healthy. Thats all we can do anyways...

 

QUOTE(angie7 @ Jan 4 2008, 03:29 AM) [snapback]556793[/snapback]
I have to agree with you. Alot of people who are NFL are lumped together with AP. I posted above, but I am more NFL, then AP even though some things are AP and NFL living combined. I dont try to claim that I am one way or the other, I just go by my instincts and try my best to keep my kids healthy. Thats all we can do anyways...


Yeah, it's funny 'cause I know from your posts (here and on the more NFL-oriented board) that you're definitely more NFL than I am. I would like to be more but I haven't got the stamina to do it all. A lot of the NFL stuff seems more work than the AP stuff. And my kids are too addicted to their Little People to ever give up the plastic toys. :laughing:

 

We've combined NFL, AP, and what works best for each individual kid. We do cloth diaper, breastfeed, coslept when they were young, delay vax with Dax, delay solids, endeavor to have wooden and cloth toys, planned for a natural VBAC, homeschool, work at home, and I own a ridiculous number of baby carriers.

Still, we did do CIO to establish a bedtime with the girls and to get Dax to sleep through the night at 9 months. It was what they needed at the time. We also moved all the kids to their cribs full-time at about 8-9 months old since sleeping with us was disturbing their sleep.

 

I love all of the responses! This is so interesting. Keep 'em coming . I think after reading these responses and rereading info. on AP, that we're not really AP at all. We don't co-sleep, I am pumping (not nursing), we're going to vax on schedule, we will probably CIO later when it makes sense (not a regular practice though), we sling at times, not always. We seem to like it's mindset of relating to children, though. The theory is good, if that makes sense. I'm glad I asked for clarification. We, too, do what works for us and don't go by parenting labels.