I just want to see if there are any women out there like me.... We have struggled to get our kids on schedules....and it causes tears and ugly scenes. So we stopped trying to force them to bed at 7:30. Nap times are still the same, but that happens naturally it seems. But no matter what we do, we can't get them to go down at 7:30 without some serious crying. (We do not believe in CIO) Anyway, since we gave up trying, the boys have been settling in nicely. They play until they are tired, then they crawl over to one of us, ask for a bottle, and then we feed them and put them down then. Bed time can be anywhere from 8-9:30. It has not impacted their day time naps at all. We quit trying on the advice of another father of twins who said, ya know....with twins all bets are off. He and his wife did not do schedules and their kids turned out fine. I am a stay-at-home mom, so I don't care much. We have lots of floor time, we are learning sign language....and getting used to eating solid foods. But no schedule....just routines. Anyone else do this?
I don't think a schedule is necessary. I didn't follow one with my first two kids and I didn't follow one with the twins until I had to. With older kids in school, I needed to get a set schedule going that works around drop off and pick up times. I think most people here who follow a schedule do it because it makes life easier. If things are going well for you, then I wouldn't change anything.
We do a schedule, mainly because it is easier: they just continue on the schedule they were on in the NICU. But if what you are doing is working for you, go for it. I didn't have a schedule for my singleton, and he ended up going to bed around 8-9. Eventually it became earlier and earlier, and now at the age of 2 he goes to bed around 7:30-8.
i can't survive without schedules but my babies also don't signal for food like most (we are working on what the cause of this might be with feeding therapists and GI specialists). so i pretty much have to offer a bottle every so many hours. i need the schedule to keep everyone functional but this is what works best for us and we are all very happy with it. like everyone else has mentioned, if your twins are happy and you are happy without schedules and everything/one is thriving why change something that's not broken you know?
I had a schedule but mine were the opposite in the evening. If I didn't have them in bed by 6 pm all hell broke loose! And no matter what I did they always woke up at 5:30 am, like an alarm clock. If what you are doing is working that is what's impportant. :good:
My oldest NEEDS a schedule, always has. If he doesn't eat and sleep by a certain time it's NOT pretty. He goes to bed at 7 every night and sleeps till 7, been like that since he was 4 months. Eats dinner at 6 every night, since he was 7 mnths old. Nap always at noon for 2 hrs. Now the twins not so much. Their morning feed is usually around 7, then after that all bets are off until about 3 pm, then they fall back into a schedule. If what you are doing works for you, no need to change it!
We just go with it too. I am also a SAHM and I feel like my two and me included have better days when we are not rushing to stick to a timetable. Bedtimes are pretty solid (around 7:30). But naps, that's a different story. We don't buy into CIO either. We play until they show signs of being sleepy. Since they get up at different times every mprning, naps are all over the place. We also like to go out during the day, and a schedule limits us in that area. That said, we DO follow a routine. The kids know the order of things, they know when we do lunch, they know when we do bottles; all in all we have pretty sane days usually. If we want to go somewhere, we just pack up and go. We sleep where we need to eat when we have to, and change poops when they're dirty.
I'm not a scheduled person so it would be pretty hard for me to put my kids on a strict schedule. We have routines for the most part, but it's pretty flexible and I like it that way. I don't want to be limited to having to be home at a certain hour for an absolute naptime. Their nursing times change day by day. Bedtime is 800pm and they go down just fine with little to no fussing. Bedtime is the only one enforced because I need a couple of hours in the evening to chill with no kids.
We just go with it too. They have a definite routine, yes, but are not specifically scheduled to eat at exactly the same hour every day, sleep/nap at the same hour/length of time every day, etc. They cue us really well with regard to their needing to eat and sleep, so we just go with it. I think doing what's best for your family's situation and knowing what's best for your particular kiddos is they key, whether that's having a stringent schedule or being more loose with it. Some thrive on a schedule; some don't. It's all good.
It's funny how circumstances change things! With our ds (who is now almost 4) we had a schedule - when he ate, napped, bath, down for the night. These two have had to learn to be more flexible (are still learning - lol) and a bit more patient. They eat first part of the day whenever they wake up (K - btwn 6:30 and 7 a.m.; E - btwn 8:00 and 9:00 a.m.). After that, it is every 2-4 hours (depending if meal is just a bottle or includes food). Our only real rules are to try to feed them together during the day and last meal (cereal and bottle) between 6 and 6:30 p.m. - they both are pretty good about going to sleep not long after that. Maybe 7:30 p.m. is late for them and that's why they are crying? Who knows, maybe it's teething or any of the other many baby phases we can never seem to keep up with! lol As for naps, eh - when we see yawns/eye rubs, down they go. If there is prolonged crying (10 minutes or more), up they get. Typically they are good babies and if don't fall asleep after 10 minutes, probably won't.
I wish I could do a schedual but I'm lucky if I remember to give meds semi ontime let alone eat myself My kids are 7months but only 3months corrected and we just play it by ear, gets confusing at time I try to always write down what time they ate last so I have an idea of what time they will wan tto eat again, my kids go 2-4hrs between feeds and dont nurse together, I try to play when I can but honestly dont have the energy much of the time, fussy babys get played with or put to bed or held. I duno maybe I'm just a bad mother
I never forced a schedule on any of my kids. I let their own inner schedule lead & even with 3 other kids the twins settled in nicely to our family life. Don't feel you have to if it doesn't feel right or work for your family.
We have a set schedule for feedings always every four hours for bottles during the day and always 7:30, 11:30 - 3:30 and 7:30 (bedtime). However, for naps and playtime, we have a routine instead. They play until they are tired and then they nap. If I tried to force them to nap, I would spend my life on sleep. I'd rather they develop their own rhythms for sleep than to be forced.
No schedule here either. We follow routines, and I try and follow the children's lead on when they nap, eat, etc. They go to bed every night around 7:30-8:00, which is when they start to really show signs of tiredness. If it had been up to me I would have chosen a later bedtime! lol. We don't believe in CIO here either. We try and keep their bedtime somewhat flexible though, so if we have to be out of the house during their bedtimes we take our slings with us and they will sleep there until we get home. What has worked best for us is just following their lead and developing patterns around that. It's worked well for me because I like having enough of a routine that the day does not feel like total chaos but enough fluidity in the routine that we can switch it up according to all of our needs.
We don't schedule things. We have an approximate plan for the day and it works out fine. Our nighttimes can be a little frustrating but I don't think that has anything to do with our daytime routine, they are just not sleep through the nighters yet. I think whether you schedule or don't schedule has more to do with your personality, the temperment of your babies and what works best for your family. Only rethink things if its not working is kind of my motto.
I just followed a routine. I was not hard core about enforcing a schedule. The only time a schedule came into play was once they dropped their 3rd cat nap. They had to be in bed by 5:30 pm or else they were extremely hard to get down for bed. You just gotta do what works for you and your family.
I am so glad to see so many moms doing what I do.....I mean...I can't change things. My little guys are set in their personality and what they want...and as long as it falls in our family rules (is it safe? is it kind?) than I am not worried about it. Because we did not stick to a strict schedule, we have very flexible babies. They fly easily. No crying. They go to museums and galleries with me. They travel well. They visit well. But I have to confess that I decided to try CIO with one son, and it was awful. They say it takes three nights....and that's BS. If your kid is hell bent on being with you, there's pretty much nothing you can do without causing a severe breech of trust. My little guy lost his voice before he learned to self soothe. When you read the books (I know, I know) they talk about nothing but schedules and the important of NOT sleeping with your baby and the baby learning to self-soothe. Then you read someone like Dr. Sears who explains that babies have to be parented to sleep, and it makes sense. Of course they don't know how to self soothe. It's our job to teach them. For me, the trick is learning what's going to do that...because each boy is different. Anyway, I have tried to do a schedule, and I just got frustrated. When we quit trying, things in our house became so much more peaceful. I really appreciate all of the replies. I think twins are a unique situation. One thing for sure....I have very happy little guys. And that's what matters most. Thanks for being good "girlfriends" and sharing your info and your support. This forum has saved my sanity on many occasions. So many of us have gone from running companies to running a household, and it's a whole new ball game. (I still can't get my kids to turn their spread sheets in on time. ;-) ) Hope you all have great days today. Ma
at first i try to put them on schedule too.. but i think its the child that decides whether he wants to be on schedule or not, depends on his mood that day.. we had good days and not so good days.. my mom watches the boys and never believes in schedules.. so i just let it go and started to go with it.. so far theyre 7 months and they just give us cues on whether theyre hungry or sleepy.. so far we noticed that they eat every 4 hours which is the only thing thats consistent... as long as they eat well, sleep well, STTN (very important!) im happy... i hope they get well soon though, both have colds right now and not been STTN lately.. sigh...
