Do you handle the nighttime feeds alone?

Hi All
We have got it down to about two feeds during the night and my dh always helps, but I can tell it is wearing him down and we are both exhausted. Just curious how many of you are doing all the night feeds all by yourself. I need some inspiration. We are both back at work now so neither one of us gets a break. I want to keep nursing, but my dh is hating the night feeds. I don't know if I can do it alone. I'm such a wimp.

 

Well, I do things differently than most and I demand feed all night. I don't wake the other ever. So, I'm usually up about 6 times a night. I get up, feed, put her back down, go back to sleep and 30 minutes to an hour later...I do it all again. Sometimes DH gets up and brings the baby to me but usually I handle it because I can. If I fed them both at the same time I'm sure I'd ask for more help.

ETA:
QUOTE
I want to keep nursing, but my dh is hating the night feeds.


I'm not sure they go hand-in-hand. I believe a baby waking to eat will do that whether she's waking to BF or bottle feed. I think preparing a bottle in the middle of the night would be more of a hassle.

 

QUOTE(girls! @ Apr 10 2008, 03:22 AM) [snapback]714563[/snapback]
Well, I do things differently than most and I demand feed all night. I don't wake the other ever. So, I'm usually up about 6 times a night. I get up, feed, put her back down, go back to sleep and 30 minutes to an hour later...I do it all again. Sometimes DH gets up and brings the baby to me but usually I handle it because I can. If I fed them both at the same time I'm sure I'd ask for more help.

ETA:
I'm not sure they go hand-in-hand. I believe a baby waking to eat will do that whether she's waking to BF or bottle feed. I think preparing a bottle in the middle of the night would be more of a hassle.


Ditto, ditto, and DITTO! Except I'm only up twice; once for each baby. I am actually thinking about waking the other when the first wakes up to eat but I think I'll get totally flamed if I even bring that up here Just kidding, ladies.

 

We both did night feeds by ourselves for the first couple months. Fortunately they've been mostly STTN since a little over 3 months, so we haven't had to do it for a while. But those first couple months, yes. We split the feedings - I did one and DH did one, he gave bottles of EBM. Their last 'evening' feeding was around 10 or 11. Then I would get up at 1:00 or 2:00, and then DH would get up at 4:00 or 5:00. I leave the bottles all prepped and ready to go for him. It worked out well for us to trade, that way we both were able to get one 5 hour stretch of sleep. We didn't bring the babies into bed, because it affected the sleep of both of us.

How did I do it? two ways:

one baby at a time: Usually Danny would wake up first. I would nurse him in the chair in their room, the whole time praying that Callie wouldn't wake up until he was done. It usually worked out ok she would start stirring just as he was finishing. So I'd put him back to bed, and then start on her. Sometimes I had to finish him standing up while holding a paci for her. Or sometimes I maybe put him down a little before he was ready, because she was starting to lose it, and then I'd feed her standing over the crib while holding a paci for him. A little later on, she started sleeping longer. So for a while I was totally finishing him, and then waking her up to feed. Then at about 3 months I decided to not wake her up and see what happened - and lo and behold she skipped that 2am feeding all together and never looked back.

both at the same time: if they both woke up, then I would carry them out to the couch one at a time (they were swaddled and couldn't wiggle off), and then get them on the Ez2Nurse pillow. I've described on here before how I get them both on the pillow by myself, and how I burp at the same time, and how I carry them back to bed together.

It was time consuming at first. for a while it took me almost 2 hours to get them both fed, changed, burped, soothed back to sleep, and I was pumping after every feed to establish my supply. Then it gradually got faster. I cut out the pumping and I was down to 90 minutes. We stopped changing in the night around 9 weeks. Towards the end I could get it done in under an hour.

I get everything staged before I got to bed - pillows, burp cloths, water for me - all ready to go where I'm going to feed. Anything I could do to make it easier for me to do alone. And I tried to leave everything staged for DH before I went back to bed, so it's there when he would get up for the next feeding.

You can totally do it! The first couple times might seem really hard. Try taking turns, if your babies will take a bottle of EBM. You need to get sleep too - especially now that you're working. When it's not your feeding, put in ear plugs and DON'T GET UP, and tell your DH to do the same.

Or perhaps it's time to try to cut down to one nightime feeding... but that's a whole other conversation.

Now they don't feed in the night. If somebody wakes up before 6:00, we take turns going in and soothing. If after 6, then DH goes in and get the baby and brings to me in bed, and I nurse lying down and we all usually end up falling back to sleep together.

I know it's different for everybody. But this is what worked, and what is currently working, for us.

 

QUOTE
Ditto, ditto, and DITTO! Except I'm only up twice; once for each baby.


Show-off!

QUOTE
Fortunately they've been mostly STTN since a little over 3 months, so we haven't had to do it for a while.



Double show-off!


Seriously, I'd pay money to know your secrets. I'm writing this at 5:15 and have been up every hour all night long...bad night, but not so far off from the norm. I don't mean to hi-jack the post...just wanted to mention to you ladies that you are LLUUUCCKKKYYYY (or smarter than me, in which case...do share!)

 

I did all the night feeds alone. They were in a co-sleeper in our room the first 6 mths and then the next 6 they slept together in a crib and came into our bed when they woke.

I always fed on demand and never woke the other. It was what worked for me.

 

After 4 months I only the fed the baby that woke, so it wasn't "hard" to do the night feedings, just VERY exhausting. But they were nursing in 5min or less so I wasn't up for long. On those nights when they are up ALOT (Liesel!) I would bring them to bed to nurse so I could kinda sleep.

 

Would you consider co-sleeping?
I demand feed all night until they weaned. I never woke the other up--I just couldn't bring myself to wake a sleeping baby! I have no clue how many times they were feeding a night at 5 months, but certainly it was more than twice a night--but because they were in bed with me, I usually fell back to sleep as soon as one was latched on. I was only ever awake for a couple of minutes (or less).

 

Sorry, internet hickup caused double post.

 

Back when the babies were taking a lot of night feedings, DH and I took turns. He'd do one feeding, I'd do the next, and so on. It sounds really intimidating, but you just do what you gotta do, and it works out. Later, when the babies started going longer stretches, but in different patterns (DS tended to do his eating on the front end and then do a long stretch, DD did a long stretch and then got hungry), we were each in charge of a baby. Now, they STTN (or close - DD still sometimes wants to nurse once), we're still each in charge of one baby, theoretically at least. This compromise worked for us - we both got to sleep more.

Ditto Liesel - this isn't a nursing issue, it's a twins issue. They'll be up to eat no matter what.

Good luck! I hope you can come up with a system that works for you. If you go it alone for night feedings, you'll manage fine!

 

QUOTE(girls! @ Apr 9 2008, 11:22 PM) [snapback]714563[/snapback]
Well, I do things differently than most and I demand feed all night. I don't wake the other ever. So, I'm usually up about 6 times a night. I get up, feed, put her back down, go back to sleep and 30 minutes to an hour later...I do it all again.


Ditto! Sometimes they'll both wake at the same time, other times not. Sometimes I am up 2-3x other nights I am up 10-12x!!

 

I do night feedings by myself. But if one poops (very rare), my husband will change the diaper and bring the baby to me. We have the crib side car set up and my girls wake 2x (90% of the time at the same time) and I tandem in our bed with EZ2 nurse pillow. When they are done I put one over each shoulder like a sack of potatoes and get up (it's an ab work-out!), kneel over to the crib and put them both down on their stomaches. I slid the one in my right arm down my arm and use both hands to put the other baby down. Pat their bottoms for a few seconds. they go back to sleep really easy and takes 10 - 30 min.. So not too hard. I'm not showing off, but I am glad I have it easier this time ... older ds would sometimes wake every hour until he was 17 months! We co-slept so it wasn't so bad.

 

QUOTE(girls! @ Apr 10 2008, 09:09 AM) [snapback]714855[/snapback]
Show-off!


Double show-off!
Seriously, I'd pay money to know your secrets. I'm writing this at 5:15 and have been up every hour all night long...bad night, but not so far off from the norm. I don't mean to hi-jack the post...just wanted to mention to you ladies that you are LLUUUCCKKKYYYY (or smarter than me, in which case...do share!)






I was doing the same thing--nursing all night on demand. If it was one baby it would have been fine, but with 2 I was up every hour. I finally said enough!! Oh and they were in bed with me not in the crib at all. So I finally put them in the crib and set a rule---they needed to sleep 3 hours before I would feed them. I do nurse them to sleep and then pt them in the crib, but they wake a little when I transfer. If they cry I let them and go in after 15 min and try to soothe, but no feeding. They do get up about twice a night which is great for me. They've even slept for longer spurts on their own. Maybe they're just ready. By the way I tried cio at 6 months--it did NOT work--they weren't ready. ANyway just thought I'd share.

Lisa

 

So far, DH always helps me in the middle of the night. However, all that means is that he holds the baby who woke up
while I set up my EZ nursing pillow and while I wake the other baby up. I tandem nurse them and he goes back to sleep. It still is taking the babies about half an hour to nurse. Then I give him a baby to burp and hold while I change diapers and get them settled back down. It doesn't require much from him, but I tell you, it sure makes my life easier just having someone to hold a baby for a minute or two. I think he is dreaming of the day we get uninterrupted sleep though!

I question whether I should wake the DD up when DS wakes up, but it seems to be working for us. The pediatrician doesn't want DD to go longer than 5 hours because she is so small and wanted us to wake her up anyhow.

My DH has been away a few days for work, so I have done the nighttime feedings alone and it's not terrible by any means.

 

I think it's easier to do it myself (and it's also possible that I might be just a little controlling

 

Oops, here's the rest: the babies both sleep with me, and I can tandem nurse them while lying on my back, so there's not really any compelling reason to wake up my husband. Plus, I don't like pumping, and he doesn't like trying to make our babies take bottles, so that's out. Also, he is in home health care, which means that he's driving around to his patients houses all day, so I would rather that he not be too exhausted. And he gets up when the big ones wake up in the middle of the night (supposedly about once a night still). So for us, it just works better if I do it.

 

DH helps me, otherwise I would be too exhausted to function during the day...as it is I feel like a zombie. I feed babies at about 10/11 pm...DH gets up and does the 3/4 am feeding (I still get up and pump...but am only up for 15 min or so), then I get up with babies at 6/7 am. I couldn't do it without DH's help. He travels a lot for work, so when he is gone my Mom and Aunt come and they do the 10/11 pm feeding and I got to bed early. I say don't go it alone unless you have to...it is always better to have help if you can

 

DH gets up with me to help position them for tandem feeding. They only get up once or twice a night and are efficient nursers so it's not so bad. Frequently the first feeding, we get up together since I want to get back to bed quickly. I wake up the other to feed. The second feeding of the night is usually around 4-5 AM and I just take the one that wakes up into bed with me to nurse. At times, the second one will just sleep until morning so I just handle that feeding myself.

 

QUOTE(SeattleLisa @ Apr 10 2008, 12:50 AM) [snapback]714632[/snapback]
We both did night feeds by ourselves for the first couple months. Fortunately they've been mostly STTN since a little over 3 months, so we haven't had to do it for a while. But those first couple months, yes. We split the feedings - I did one and DH did one, he gave bottles of EBM. Their last 'evening' feeding was around 10 or 11. Then I would get up at 1:00 or 2:00, and then DH would get up at 4:00 or 5:00. I leave the bottles all prepped and ready to go for him. It worked out well for us to trade, that way we both were able to get one 5 hour stretch of sleep. We didn't bring the babies into bed, because it affected the sleep of both of us.

How did I do it? two ways:

one baby at a time: Usually Danny would wake up first. I would nurse him in the chair in their room, the whole time praying that Callie wouldn't wake up until he was done. It usually worked out ok she would start stirring just as he was finishing. So I'd put him back to bed, and then start on her. Sometimes I had to finish him standing up while holding a paci for her. Or sometimes I maybe put him down a little before he was ready, because she was starting to lose it, and then I'd feed her standing over the crib while holding a paci for him. A little later on, she started sleeping longer. So for a while I was totally finishing him, and then waking her up to feed. Then at about 3 months I decided to not wake her up and see what happened - and lo and behold she skipped that 2am feeding all together and never looked back.

both at the same time: if they both woke up, then I would carry them out to the couch one at a time (they were swaddled and couldn't wiggle off), and then get them on the Ez2Nurse pillow. I've described on here before how I get them both on the pillow by myself, and how I burp at the same time, and how I carry them back to bed together.

It was time consuming at first. for a while it took me almost 2 hours to get them both fed, changed, burped, soothed back to sleep, and I was pumping after every feed to establish my supply. Then it gradually got faster. I cut out the pumping and I was down to 90 minutes. We stopped changing in the night around 9 weeks. Towards the end I could get it done in under an hour.

I get everything staged before I got to bed - pillows, burp cloths, water for me - all ready to go where I'm going to feed. Anything I could do to make it easier for me to do alone. And I tried to leave everything staged for DH before I went back to bed, so it's there when he would get up for the next feeding.

You can totally do it! The first couple times might seem really hard. Try taking turns, if your babies will take a bottle of EBM. You need to get sleep too - especially now that you're working. When it's not your feeding, put in ear plugs and DON'T GET UP, and tell your DH to do the same.

Or perhaps it's time to try to cut down to one nightime feeding... but that's a whole other conversation.

Now they don't feed in the night. If somebody wakes up before 6:00, we take turns going in and soothing. If after 6, then DH goes in and get the baby and brings to me in bed, and I nurse lying down and we all usually end up falling back to sleep together.

I know it's different for everybody. But this is what worked, and what is currently working, for us.

Yes How do you get down to just one night feeding?

 

QUOTE(kathmeany @ Apr 11 2008, 06:38 PM) [snapback]717580[/snapback]
Yes How do you get down to just one night feeding?


Can you tell us how often and when they nurse during the day? What time do they wake and go to bed?

 

DH and I both get up, and we're basically down to one overnight feeding. Our boys are 2 months old (3.5 weeks adjusted). Here's our schedule:
6:00--BF
8:00--bottle of EBM (3.5 oz)
bath, PJs, bed
10:00--"dream feed": basically feed the babies in their sleep a bottle of EBM (4 oz).
pray they sleep...then feed on demand bottle of EBM (3.5oz)
lately they've been getting up around 2:30 or 3:00 (3:30 if we're lucky)
6:00AM--wake for the day (sometimes I wake them, sometimes they wake on their own), bottle of EBM (3.5 oz)

I pump at night so that DH can help out and we're up for 30 minutes total instead of potentially much longer. We'll feed them, and then I'll actually pump for the next night. I fix their night bottles every night before bed so that I just have to pull them out of the fridge and warm them up. If we have time, I microwave a small amount of water and put the bottles in the water for a bit. If we don't have time, then I microwave the bottles (bad Mommy, I know) for 10 seconds and just swirl the milk around to make sure there aren't any hot spots.

Becky

 

i do it all myself. in the beginning the only way i could sleep was with them in their snuggle nests in bed with me. i bottle fed and what i did was have bottles already made and waiting for them when they woke up i would give them a bottle change them and go back to sleep. when one woke up i woke the other because the other would just wake up a half hour later. my ds STTN at 5 months and DD STTN at 8 months. so i just got up all the time whenever they needed to be fed. now they r in their own cribs in different rooms.

 

QUOTE(kathmeany @ Apr 9 2008, 07:14 PM) [snapback]714446[/snapback]
I don't know if I can do it alone. I'm such a wimp.


I remember when my mom left when my girls were a month old and I was terrified, b/c that meant I was on my own for night feedings. There were about three per night at that point. (dh is a pathologist and really needs his mental faculties all day at work -- can't do his job on not enough/broken sleep.)

What I will say is that doing it alone was VERY daunting the first couple times, but then I figured out how to make it work, and not only has it been pretty do-able since then, but I feel strong and enabled (I can produce AND deliver complete nutrition for two whole people -- hear me roar!) and I even wonder what I was so scared of.

I've always tandem fed and woken the second baby; also, once I heard crying I would take my time a bit -- lay in bed, pee, get a glass of water, etc. -- so that there was a better chance of them being more alert. That way I didn't spend the first 10 minutes waking up a sleepy baby. Also, every detail was ready and waiting before I went to bed -- nursing pillow, burp cloths, even new diapers all laid out right where I'd need them.

Finally, once they were fed I just put each one back in her crib with a kiss and went back to bed myself. No extended rocking or that type of thing, and they got used to that pretty fast.

Anyway, I guess my point is that you should give it a try, maybe during the day on the weekend for practice a couple times. You may surprise yourself!

Could dh take over some other task earlier in the evening to help out? Get bags ready for daycare, wash bottles, or something of the sort? So you still feel support and assistance from him even if he sleeps?

Good luck!

 

Except for the first 3 weeks when my mom was staying with us to help with the endless feed-burp-change cycle, I've always done night feedings alone.

From the beginning, if one baby wakes to eat, both babies wake to eat (we're just starting to loosen up on this one, as DD is naturally a better sleeper and I am hoping she'll soon STTN). If both wake at the same time on their own, I tandem as follows:

Pick up baby 1, take to boppy situated on sofa
Go back to crib, grab baby 2, position EZ2Nurse around waist while holding, sit down, toss pillow behind my back with free hand, position baby 2 on EZ2Nurse
Grab baby 1 from boppy, tandem nurse (I even burp them both by putting them up on my shoulders and patting backs with opposite hands)
Slide baby 1 back onto boppy, put baby 2 on shoulder and remove EZ2Nurse
Take baby 2 back to crib; return for baby 1

We don't change diapers at night unless they're poopy (I figure once they STTN, they won't get changed, anyway...may as well get used to it now!).

If just one wakes to eat, I feed him/her first, return to crib, then wake brother/sister to feed. This takes a little more time, but is a bit less of a circus (we probably do it this way 90% of the time now). Occasionally, one will wake up screaming before I'm done feeding brother/sister...then I yell at husband to help He's a good sport about it, given that it's rare...

Hope this helps?

 

Wow, I didn't even realize my DH could be helping out in this department. I will put him to work!! ha. Anyway, I have been BFing babies at night on my own since day 1. What I find to work the best is to feed them at the same time. I have them in a co-sleeper right next the bed and when first one stirs (they both eat every 2 hours like clockwork) I change that babies diaper then I prop up pillows so I can sit up comfortably and I take the first guy and set him on one side of my lap and then I grab the other and do the same and then I scoop them both up and get them to both latch on. they lay against my body so that their legs overlap each other and I recline a little and have my legs in what looks like a laboring position and feed them both. Then I burp the guy that had his diaper changed and put him back nto bed. Then I burp and change the other baby and put him to bed. It used to take me about 45 min, but now I got it down under 15 min. I do have diapers and wipes in the co-sleeper so I just change them there. I don't get out of bed at all, that way I'm still tired enough to fall asleep quickly as I will be up to do it all over in a couple hours!

 

Glad to know that I'm not alone in waking every hour and in working and breastfeeding twins! It is tough. I really feel like my job is suffering but fortunately my employer and co-workers are very understanding.

To answer the original question, I do all the nightime feedings alone, DH sleeps in another room! But really, there's not much he could do. I don't generally change their diapers at night unless I absolutely have to (although this leads to some soggy mornings ). They're still in one crib in my room. I put them down for the night in the crib but when they wake I usually bring them in the bed so that I can lie down and nurse. I used to be able to fall right back asleep but for some reason I can't always do that now. I was getting really concerned about so much comfort nursing until I realized that C has FOUR teeth coming in at once and J has 2 or 3 ready to pop through as well. I'm hoping it's just a rough patch related to teething and we can get down to only 2-3 times a night (hey, nothing wrong with being an optimist, right? )

B.A.
DD 2-28-05
Identical boys C & J born 8-24-07 @ 38 weeks