Do you give separate Christmas presents?

We have always given the girls joint birthday and Christmas presents (except when I do their stockings, then I get two similar-but-different versions of each item).

They do have some things that they own separately (loveys, pillows, various stuffed animals and baby dolls), but that always seems to happen after the fact -- things just wind up belonging to one kid or the other.

At this age, they have mostly the same interests and they play with all the same stuff. I worry that if we did separate presents, we'd still have to give two separate-but-different versions of everything, which would be expensive, and would also just mean I'd have to keep track of whose is whose. But I also worry that we're somehow denying them some joy by not having more presents that are "just for me."

 

If we are getting a "big ticket" item then they can share but about 95% of what they are given is done separately.

I've given our 10 & 8 y/o joint presents (big ticket items) like the Wii and Wii games that they share but mostly they get presents for just them. I don't think my youngest two should have to share everything just because they were born a twin.

 

We get different gifts for each kid to open but those are expected to be shared (at this age anyway). When we get two of something, they can each take ownership of one of the items. Even if we buy two of something, they generally end up fighting over the same one item, so I generally tend to buy a variety rather than two of everything.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people bring one gift for both of them to share. I'd rather them each get a small gift than have them receive a joint bigger gift and not each get to open one. Especially, again, at this age when they don't understand the value of a big vs. small gift anyway.

 

almost all of the presents we have ever given them have been individual gifts, the only joint gift I can even think of off the top of my head was the dollhouse they got for Christmas last year.

 

This has been the case around here thus far. :good: Their kitchen was a shared gift and their playhouse.

 

Wow, I guess we're in the minority! They have never seemed to mind having joint gifts (there's plenty for everyone to open). Their friends brought them joint gifts at their birthday party too, and that was fine with me.

This is true, but in our case (no other siblings) they don't know any different.

So if you give individual gifts, does each child then "own" that item forever?

 

We generally give "same but different" unless it's a large toy. I wouldn't give one truck or one dinosaur or one coloring book but two different ones that are similar. And yes, they have ownership of their items and must ask permission to play with their brother's truck (and accept a no if that's the answer). They share and take turns very well (they're doing so right now, in fact).

FWIW, plenty of people have given one smaller toy to the two of them and it hasn't been a problem. I simply feel that they should have some sense of ownership as well so we give them that. They just recently had the opportunity to choose entirely different things for their birthday and they ended up choosing same but different of their own accord.

 

This is what we do. I have already started buying Christmas and the girls are wanting musical instruments..Sarah has been wanting a violin and Allison a saxophone..so each girl will get their own instrument. Things that we know they both will want, we get them different colors so that they know which one is theirs..this year they both want cameras, so each will have a different color under the tree. I think ownership is very important, and they have toys that they know are theirs. I have seen them switch toys if they don't like the color we have chosen for them, so far it has worked out well. As pp said, big ticket items we make them share, but they always get their own individual gifts under the tree.

 

Mine each get their own gifts, but pretty much share all of them. Even with DS games, the only ones that are "owned" are the ones the purchase themselves. The one who was given the gift gets first crack at playing it, but then they share. They do get some gifts with both names on them, but most are individual. I don't have a problem with joint gifts from others, because I would rather they have one quality item than two pieces of junk. One advantage we found with having the twins, is that people will get them a joint Wii game. No one is going to spend the money for a Wii game for one child, but because there are two, they will buy the one more expensive game, which is fine with us

 

I guess we do shared gifts too. Or we always have. I just go to toys r us, and get everything that I think they will like. Then I wrap them and they each get a group of gifts to open. nothing is "owned" by them. All toys are for both.

But, 1st christmas my kids were 8 months, and last year 1 year, 8 months. So it wasn't an issue. This year, since they have different likes and dislikes, I will be doing more separate gifts. They will then be "owned" by them ...

 

Big ticket items (kitchen, dollhouse, etc) are joint.

Otherwise they get 'same but different' gifts....like they are both getting a dress up doll for Xmas (but they look different), they are both getting My Little Ponies (different ones), and dress up clothes (different outfits). Most of it become communal--with the exception of 'very special' items (pillows, specific dolls, loveys, etc) but they share the toys for the most part.


It seems nice for them to each have their own presents--at this age they like mostly the same things.

I try to think of them as 2 kids with similar taste in toys....if they were siblings (instead of twins) what would I do??

 

Same here!

 

My twins are 3.5 now. Up until this year, they have gotten their own gifts with many being along the lines of "same but different". This year I have bought a couple of toys that are more individual because their interests are becoming more independent of each other. It never occured to me to not give them separate gifts. They even have their own colors and I wrap all their presents in those colors, so no reading of tags is involved. I think they could recognize their names now, but the past two Christmases were easy because they knew right away who all the blue presents were for, all the green presents and all the red ones.

My kids (all three) have to share their toys though. That has not been a problem thus far. There is usually a toy that is really important to a child, and that becomes their toy. They don't have to share that one, and others have to ask to play with it and if the answer is "no" they have to accept that. So far, the only toys that have real ownership are my DD's special baby doll and one of the boys two lovies that are only important at bed time. My other boy could take or leave toys in general, so he doesn't have any one special toy (makes discipline difficult, but that's another topic!).

 

My 2 are b/g, but have received plenty of big ticket items that were one gift for both (2 seater wagon, playhouse, Fisher Price computer, etc) Totally makes sense. I have to say, though, that I generally don't like the shared birthday gifts. I guess I just feel like they are already sharing their day with their sibling, they should at least have their own gifts to open.

 

My twins share just about everything whether I meant it to be that way or not. We have gifts that were ment for Ava that Addison has taken over and visa versa. I usually just buy an assortment of things that I think they will love. Last year I did not even put name labels on their stuff, just wrapped it in a more girly paper than I did the boys'. I try not to buy 2 of the exact same thing, that way I can afford to buy more. This year they will hopefully get a playhouse which they will share. At this age it works out great, when they get older I will buy each one their own separate gifts according to their likes/dislikes.

 

Mine mostly get seperate, and usually the same, or close to the same thing. This year for Christmas they may get a few different items since they are getting older and being more specific. The only things they get as joint gifts are big items we only have room for 1 of, like kitchen, ball pit, things like that.

 

When I first read your post, I was thinking to myself: I always give the kids a present each. But, now I come to think about it, whilst Maia opens half the presents and Tal the other half, almost everything belongs to them both: puzzles, books, pens, toy cars, lego, train set etc. Sometimes they'll have their own thing, but it's usually something trivial like a wind-up toy. They were recently given two identical dolls (I never gave them any yet because I loathe dolls, but the girls love them ... :FIFblush: ) and Tal has asked me to put their initials on them so that they know who's is who's. They also have their own soft toys - but more because that's what they adopted rather than because it was given to them.

I'm the youngest of three and I almost never had toys / books / clothes that were 'mine', almost everything was inherited from my older sibliings. But the things were all for all of us. So they were kind of mine and ours simultaneously. I never gave it a second thought, but it never bothered me. I think if you share toys then you have more toys!

 

Mine have gotten big things to share--i.e. toy kitchen. And same or similiar things smaller things like dolls and puzzels. I first bought similar but slightly different things. Then they went through a phase of fighting for the smallest difference, like the pink pony being more desireable than the purple one. So I bought identical items for a time. Now they can do differences again, and I find that easier.
I was annoyed by my cousin at christmas who bought the girls two totally different presents, both were books, but one was a Dora book with those sound buttons that you press when the icon comes up in the text, and the other was a children's story written by a friend of hers which is kind of self published on plain paper with black and white line drawings. It's a cute story, and they like the story, but those two books are in no way equal presents and the one who the Dora book doesn't belong to feels like she was short changed gift wise.

 

My girls have too much stuff, so last christmas they got a play kitchen to share and just one other gift each (from 'santa'). Of course our families totally spoiled them and my sister got them identical presents, while other got them things that were totally different for each.

I leave it up to the girls to work out who 'owns' a special toy. They share almost everything, but they both know who 'owns' the pink vs blue bunny, and the little hippo vs elephant stuffed animal, and the chocolate vs. vanilla play ice cream cone, etc etc etc.

I don't know what we are going to do this christmas since we are spending it 3000 miles from home. They will probably get one small toy each and then maybe something big will be waiting for them 'under the tree' when we get home.

 

This is how it is at out house too, sometimes a toy becomes special to one child and becomes "hers" even though it was a gift to a sister. They are all (surprisingly ) really good at honoring this system even when they know that a toys was theirs first. Actually, I think they - and DH & I too - forget for the most part whose toy was whose at first, but I personally like the idea of them having thier own presents. For ex. last Christmas H & N both got a baby doll stroller - different patterns, and one got a Minnie Mouse and one a Daisy Duck, they each got a book, a ball and a DVD. I have no idea now who was given what and I'm sure they don't either. Natalie is the only one right now that is in to dressing her baby dolls and being a "Mommy" so right now all the doll clothes and bottles are "hers".