Do you get tired of having to explain?

I had an ultrasound this afternoon (just a growth scan, all is well) and have to register in the admissions office each time I go. On the order sheet, they always write down that it's an u/s for twins, so the lady who was doing my paperwork started asking me questions. I'm getting to the point where I really want the questions to stop!

I've learned so much since being on this board...fraternal versus identical, genetics and all that. I know people don't know any better...I didn't either, but it feels like I'm always answering someone's question like it's an 8 page essay that I'm going to get graded for.

Do y'all ever get tired of having to explain things to other people, or did you just stop doing it? Today, I just smiled and said "uh-uh" when she asked if they run in the family. I do, but they're all identical.

 

I am still explaining things to people. Every where we go we get stopped and asked questions about the twins!

 

I don't go into much detail. I just let people think what they want....I have a tendency to come across the wrong way so I try not to correct because I feel kind of bad. If people ask then I will sometimes tell...just depends on the situation. I am tired however of explaining to random people that no I am not due in a month or so, they are twins and yes we are actually excited. Whatever....I figure it is only beginning!

I do understand though....I have a friend who had frat boys and talked about how glad she was that they did not have TTTS or anything....not because they were frats but because she did not know that you can't have TTTS unless they are id and sharing a placenta. I think that stuff frustrates me the most....people I think should know who don't. Or the people who don't know but think they know it all....ok so maybe I had a bit of a rant on this too....sorry!

 

Yep, I do get tired of it too. I know most people are well meaning but sometimes it's hard to stop and chat for that long. I have had days where I have been in an "uh-huh" mood too. It only gets worse once you have them and they sit and stare and compare. :hug99:

 

I play dumb... I just politely smile and tune it out. There are times when I am grinning like an idiot. People usually get the hint. The questions will just keep coming!

 

I'm a twin, so I grew up with the questions. Now as an adult twin expecting twins, I've got my routine down pat:

"Do twins run in the family?"
"Yep, I'm a twin too!"
"What are the chances?"
"Better for me than for you!" big wink!
"Wow, are they your first?"
"Sure are!"
"Isn't that going to be a lot of work?"
"Of course, but I'm sure I'll be too sleep deprived to notice. It was nice chatting. Bye now!"

 

I depends on my mood. Mostly I'm just happy to be out of the house and talking to real people as I've been on modified activity since about 13 weeks, and bedrest since about 20 weeks (or so I've lost track. lol)
Depending who I'm talking to, cause I love meeting the people who know "all" about twins and correct you after they've asked you questions. That really irks me.

 

And all you happy mothers of identicals will get to go through probably the rest of their childhood answering these questions!!! As for my b/g fraternals... people have now pretty much stopped noticing, or at least commenting, on the fact that they are twins.... So you mom's of frats..enjoy it while you can if your twins don't look that much alike!! With my kids...a 4 year old dd, and 2 year old b/g twins, people just assume that I've had a bunch of kids really close together. They all think that either my dd is really tall or my ds is really short!!!

 

QUOTE(Susanna+3 @ Jul 11 2007, 09:12 PM) [snapback]326932[/snapback]
And all you happy mothers of identicals will get to go through probably the rest of their childhood answering these questions!!! As for my b/g fraternals... people have now pretty much stopped noticing, or at least commenting, on the fact that they are twins.... So you mom's of frats..enjoy it while you can if your twins don't look that much alike!! With my kids...a 4 year old dd, and 2 year old b/g twins, people just assume that I've had a bunch of kids really close together. They all think that either my dd is really tall or my ds is really short!!!



It's funny you mention that because I've noticed a lot of the comments I now get are "are they twins?" and they are really questioning it. Although you can tell mine still look the same age, but it will be interesting to see as they get older and grow differently what comments I will get. Although I still get asked a lot if they are identical.

 

I have stopped telling strangers that it is twins. B/C then you have to explain everything. I just tell people I am due next month (lie) and I dont know what I am having or tell them I am just having a girl or boy.

 

I get what you mean about the questions. I actually like answering the nice ones. I hate the other ones though...I get did you use fertility? Didn't you knwo your chances were high to have ultiples again? I think those questions are so rude and I feel blessed with my children, even if my hand are completely full!!! People ask rude and strange questions all the time to me. I just smile, answer, and move on. I also get are you going to try for the boy a lot.

Tara, mommy to:
Jordyn & Taylor (3), Ellie & Avery (19 months)

 

I'm sooooo tired of it! When people ask me when I am due, I just say soon. If I start saying when I'm really due, or when my c-section is, I have to explain everything. But sometimes people will just asking me what I'm having and I say a boy & a girl, and they get this surprised look on their face and say TWINS!! Then start asking all the questions. I really can't figure it out. It's not twins are THAT unusual.

 

QUOTE(summerfun @ Jul 11 2007, 09:22 PM) [snapback]326950[/snapback]
Although I still get asked a lot if they are identical.


I still get asked that about my brother and myself. It never ends!

From the time we were 5 or 6, I was a good bit taller than my brother, for about 10 years. At 15, he grew taller than me for the first time! All that time we lived in a very, very small town (fewer than 1000 people) and everyone knew we were twins, and no one really cared, because they'd known us our whole lives, and there was another set of twins born a few weeks after us who were identical girls, so they were waaaay more interesting.

Now, its strange because as adults, my brother and I are roughly the same size/build and we look alike, so its easier for strangers to recognize that we are twins. That's always weird, when someone recognizes that.

 

I laughed when I read your post, isn't it crazy??!! Just wait it gets so much worse after they are born. Errands take twice as long with all the questions. I'm generally very friendly, but sometimes I don't make eye contact with people while out.

 

I think what bothers me the most is when people "think" they know more about twins than I do! I know I'm only 20 weeks pregnant with them, but I've been reading as much as I can on twins since I found out about them at 8 weeks.

Or...people with twins who don't know anything about frat vs. identical, genetics, etc! I can't understand that.

I really don't mind when people ask questions in a genuine way. I didn't know anything much about twins either and would have asked the exact same questions.

But...I'm only 20 weeks along. My attitude may be a bit different a year from now!

Cary

 

Not really. We are so excited that I actually enjoy telling people we are having twins and answering questions. That may change as I get farther along, though.

 

Maybe Im the odd one out, but I dont mind one tiny bit. I think I have been doubly blessed, and if someone has a question I dont mind answering it at all. My brothers were also twins so I was around with all the questions when they were younger, and they dont mind the questions either. I have yet to come across someone that has been rude or malicious...I think people are fascinated by Twins and just curious.

 

I don't mind too much, but I pretty much don't go anywhere either! :huh: It's funny becuase my daughters preschool teacher is pregnant as well, and she gets more questions about her pregnancy than I do about mine... She is 3 weeks ahead of me and looks about 3 months ahead!!! When she tels people when she is due they ALWAYS say are you sure it's not twins?! I think it's pretty funny!

Anyway, the part I dread is having to go shopping with them and not being able to get anything done... I am not a shopper to begin with (mainly because we have no money) so I like to get in and out... I get the sense that wont be possible!

Now that I am pregnant with twins though I am more likely to see another twin mom and ask questions... I feel guilty, but I don't know any twins or twin moms now that we have moved! Before we moved I was a high school teacher and I 5 twins in my classes! SO I am thankful to have this site to read and learn more from others who are twins, twin moms/dads, or expecting twins!

 

QUOTE(Inlowtwins @ Jul 12 2007, 08:03 AM) [snapback]327449[/snapback]
I laughed when I read your post, isn't it crazy??!! Just wait it gets so much worse after they are born. Errands take twice as long with all the questions. I'm generally very friendly, but sometimes I don't make eye contact with people while out.


Ditto this!

It only gets worse!

 

QUOTE(ladybenz @ Jul 12 2007, 12:08 AM) [snapback]326846[/snapback]
I'm a twin, so I grew up with the questions. Now as an adult twin expecting twins, I've got my routine down pat:

"Do twins run in the family?"
"Yep, I'm a twin too!"
"What are the chances?"
"Better for me than for you!" big wink!
"Wow, are they your first?"
"Sure are!"
"Isn't that going to be a lot of work?"
"Of course, but I'm sure I'll be too sleep deprived to notice. It was nice chatting. Bye now!"



I'm an identical twin (which has nothing to do with the fact that I had frat twins...but I don't bother explaining that one to strangers...) But I grew up with all the same stupid questions....
"So do you guys like feel it when someone else hits your twin?"
"So can you like read each other's minds?"
"So what's it like to be a twin?"

My response... "So stupid, what's it like to be a singleton??" Hmmm...let me compare my life as twin with my prior life as not being a twin...well, you get asked a lot of stupid questions by idiots who think they are being funny.... Okay, okay... I'm not usually that rude to people... but I do think it when they ask such dumb questions. Especially as a teenager, I had a very low threshold of patience with stupidity. It's hard enough trying to be your own person when you are an id. twin without having people make such a big deal out of it. People either want to force you to stay the same as your twin...or they want to force you to be different...and either approach always ticked me off... Just leave the twin thing alone, and if you want to be my friend, then know my face enough to call me the right name!!! So there...that was my take on growing up as a twin.