Do we HAVE to lose the pacifier?

My girls just turned 3. One sucks her fingers, and has since she was 3 months old. The other has a pacifier, and I've been allowing it at nap time and night time only. I know she's really too old for it, but she goes to sleep so much better with it - and I hate to take away her soothing mechanism when her sister still happily sucks her fingers while falling asleep.

Is it really bad to have a paci for sleep time only at this age? What would you do? Thanks!

 

Have you tried to take it away? My kids never had the plug outside of nap/bedtimes since about 10 months on. I had two kids who used them. I was so worried about taking it away from my youngest. Turns out he did it himself at about 2.75 years old. He literally hid his own plugs. He would go to sleep with two, one in mouth and one in hand. One night I could not find any so I told him he was a big boy now and did not use any plugs. He slept just fine. :whew: The next nap, he did a look around to see if he could find one. Nope. I repeated how big of a boy he was and that he did not need one. I found where he had hidden them a couple days later, but watching him 'play search' for them before every nap/bedtime was just so dog gone cute! I was shocked on how easy it was. He did not revert to sucking his thumb or anything. Sometimes it is only 'scary' for the person doing the taking away. That said, if it doesn't go well, or if you decide not to even try, she only has them at bedtimes and if it is soothing her, why take it away. Perhaps introduce her to something else (blanket/lovey) to sleep with and to get attached to.

 

Have they been to the dentist yet? If not, now would be a good time and address it with him/her. My DS is a thumb sucker and has been since he was 6 months old. He has a horrible overbite and there is nothing I can do. I tried otc ointment that is applied to the thumb which has a nasty taste. I tried it again recently(first time was around the age of 2 1/2), and he had the same reaction as the first time: he vomited every time he put his thumb in his mouth. After this time, I truly feel he is addicited to it and it's very hard for him to just stop.

I know the thumb is not the same as a paci, at least that you can take away. If you don't have a denist yet, I would ask their pedi and take it from there.

 

I say no .. you don't have to take it away. I never did and my kids (and their teeth) are fine and they are all grown up now. They each eventually gave it up on their own. My oldest was 2 1/2 my youngest was 4. I discussed it with our pedi and she told me not to worry about it .. so I didn't.

 

We didn't take it away from my oldest until he was 3.5, at that point he also just had it for nap and at night. I was not easy though...we prepared him for it and he gave them away willingly but it was still hard. I sucked my thumb until I was 12 and part of me felt horrible for taking it away so I can understand where you're coming from.

 

My oldest son was 2, my oldest daughter was 3, and my twins were 2.5, just before Christmas. If it's just nap and nighttime it's not a big deal. The danger lies in them using it ALL the time, it can cause damage to the teeth and inhibit their speech. But if it's just nap/nighttime it's so not a big deal! Unless you feel ready, and you think she is ready, I wouldn't worry about it yet!

 

I don't think it's bad as you have it limited to sleep time. I would just not worry about it and let her carry on.

 

I would talk to the dentist, but I remember being five and sucking my thumb and the dentist telling my parents to give me a pacifier instead. Now, that was over thirty years ago, so thinking may have changed. I also had a huge overbite, 13 mm, and had to have braces, etc, from sucking my thumb.

 

Luckily my girls gave up their binkies on their own at about 8 months. However, I have a friend with a three year old who began sucking her thumb when they took her binky away at three. They ended up giving her the binky back because they think it's better for her teeth to suck on a binky instead of a thumb.

 

Our dentist told us (we had 3.5yo's with paci's) that it was fine, they were just glad they werent finger/thumb suckers...I guess that is what will change the shape of their mouth.
We went ahead and took them away because the were not okay with it being just for sleeping...they wanted them all the time. It was tough for about an hour (we left them on the tree outside for the binky fairy) but they've been totally fine ever since!

I have no advice on how to stop finger sucking.

I wouldnt worry about it at this point.

 

I'm in the exact same situation. Zoe sucks her fingers, which I obviously can't take away, and Xavier still uses the paci just for naps and bed. He only has one and we have told him that if it gets lost or broken it is gone for good. Other than that I am not doing anything.

 

Well, just to give you a perspective from someone who took the pacifier away...

I decided to wean my twins off their pacis around age 2.5 (they were using them just for naps and bedtime) because one of them always lost it while sleeping and he'd wake up in the middle of the night crying and looking for it, so I had to get up and find it in the dark, then give it to him. I had tried using a fastener but he would take it off before bedtime (they get smart!).

They way I did it: One night I told them a bedtime story about the magic airplane that takes the pacis away to Bermuda (we had just come back form a trip to Bermuda). In the story the magic airplane comes and takes the pacis, and the pacis have a lot of fun at the beach and stay there forever because they are so happy. After I finished the story I said to them the magic airplane was coming that night. That's when they started to cry! I took their pacifiers and said we needed to put them in a little box outside their bedroom for the magic airplane.

At that point I was feeling pretty horrible because both twins were crying and begging to have them back. But I sang songs, soothed them, stayed in their room longer with them and cuddled, but was very firm about not giving back the binkies. I left the room after they calmed down and they did cry a bit afterwards but it wasn't very bad and miraculously they went to sleep.To my surprise they both slept through the night (I was expecting the one twin to wake up asking for it, but it didn't happen!)

Next morning the first thing they both said was that the pacis had gone with the magic airplane! For their first nap I was expecting a tantrum but I just reminded them the pacis were gone and they said "yes with the magic airplane" and didn't cry. However it did take them a long time to go to bed because they talked and stayed up (so I think the paci definitely helped just soothe them into sleeping faster). I have to say form then on it has taken longer for them to fall asleep at nap time...

To my complete surprise they totally accepted their pacis being gone and never asked back for them or cried for them, and slept very well from the first day on, they just repeated back the story about the magic airplane...
I don't know if I did the wrong thing, maybe someone could argue going cold turkey was unnecessary and could have traumatized them, but it worked for me at least this time...
I'm not advocating for anyone to do the same, but I just wanted to share my story just in case someone had done something similar!

 

My girls are 2.5. One of them is very attached to her paci, although she only gets it in bed. She has a serious oral fixation -- puts everything in her mouth. The other really couldn't care less; she just wants a paci because her sister has one and spits it out almost immediately when she falls asleep. I took them both to the dentist for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Turns out that my girl who loves her paci is already developing an overbite as a result of using it. The dentist said that, although it's not a serious issue yet, we need to get rid of the paci before she turns 3 or we may have serious issues in the future. I'm terrified that, due to her oral fixation, she's going to replace the paci with her thumb or fingers. Nevertheless, we've started talking about her being a big girl now and needing to drop the paci because it's hurting her teeth. We decided to just be honest with her and not make up a story about a paci fairy or anything like that. We're just telling her everyday now that the paci has to go soon because it's hurting her teeth. We're not sure exactly when we're going to actually take the paci away. We're waiting for a time when she's otherwise sleeping well, not sick, and not going through any other big transitions, i.e., we're waiting until her potty training is well-established and she isn't about to move up to a new room at school, etc.

 

My boys are 4 now, but they both had speech therapy through EI. Their therapist told me about these and I ordered two just to see if it would help my one DS who also has an oral fixation.

They really did help him. It gave him something to chew on and put in his mouth, but they are not made to suck on like a paci or their own thumb/fingers.

There are many different websites that sell them, including Amazon and they come if different shapes,textures and sizes.