Do I need to adjust bedtime AGAIN?

Ah yes, the continuing sleep battle.

A little over a month ago, we pushed the boys' bedtime from 7:30 to 8 to help alleviate early morning wake ups. Within a day or two, it was obvious that it was working. We're happy with 6:30-6:45am wake ups & that's what they were doing....up until a week or so ago.

We're back to the 5:45am wake ups AGAIN. UGH. Thankfully, we have the Tot Clock, so they don't wake us til 6:30. Well, we hear them & THAT wakes us, but at least they stay in their beds. Now they're starting to get rowdy because 45 mins is a LONG time to hang out in the dark . We're not sure if one is waking the other, but now that they're in toddler beds, there's really no good way to separate them at bedtime (before we used to put one in a PNP in our basement family room). I do think it's cute, however, that they get up & pee and go back to bed til their clock turns yellow. We've got them trained!

They seem a LITTLE grouchier than normal, but not too horrible. And they don't seem overly exhausted at bedtime either.

They're still napping & we're trying to hold on to that as long as possible. For one, they nap at daycare (2-3 days per week) & I prefer to keep them on the same schedule while they're at home. Another reason is that *I* work night shift and NEED a little nap during the day before heading into work all night. So, I'd rather they stay up later than to drop the nap. Lastly, they get super cranky when they don't nap. Horrendous tantrums, falling asleep at the table, night wakings...it's just horrible. We tried it. It did NOT go well.

SOOO...lately we've been monkeying with bedtime again. We've ranged from 7:30-8:15. No matter what time, they're up at the same time. Ugh. However, the earlier we put them down, the longer it seems to take them to fall asleep. I just don't think they're tired.

Is it time to push bedtime back even later? Man do I miss my quiet nights when bedtime used to be 7pm! I told DH tonight that I think we need to try 8:30. Is 8:30 unacceptable for an almost 3 year old? It just seems so late. Naps range from 1-3 hours, so total sleep in a day would be around 11-13. That seems right....right?

Any advice would be appreciated. I just HATE waking up to them at 5:45! I can't fall back to sleep, even if they're content in their beds. Ugh. I need my sleep again ....

Thanks in advance!

 

I might try waking them after 1.5-2 hours of a nap. I think that that age, 13 hours of sleep during the day might be what is throwing your schedule off. Now all kids are different in the sleep department. But I can tell you that if my kids slept for 3 hours that would ruin all of the night sleep.

My kids all go to sleep between 8 and 9 depending on the day.

 

A&R are going to bed at 8:00, falling asleep closer to 8:30 and are up at 6:15 in the mornings. They get a one hour nap at daycare. They just will not fall asleep until the sun is down, which is nice because I don't get home until 7:30.

So let's say 8:30-6:30, 10 hours plus an hour of nap. 11 hours.

 

I don't think the time you choose as bedtime is what really matters. It is how much sleep they are getting. And they are obviously getting enough sleep, so moving bedtime back might be a good option. My kids don't go to bed until 9:00 (sometimes later). I know most people cringe over this late bedtime, but my kids get plenty of sleep, they still nap at 4.5yso, and they get to spend time with Daddy when he gets home. This is what is important to us, not some arbitrary time that might be more "normal" for other families.

 

You can try the later bedtime for a week and see if it helps. Mine go to bed between 8:00 and 8:30 and are asleep between 8:15 and 8:45 generally, waking between 6:30-7:00 am, with a nap of 1.5-2.5 hours most days of the week. I'm with you in that I'd rather have a little later bedtime and keep the nap than lose the nap and have an early bedtime.

 

Hi Andrea I think you do need to find out what works best for your family situation. For some people it probably does work great to drop the nap and do a later bedtime, but it sounds like for you you really want to keep the nap so then you may have to do a later bedtime. Maybe try shortening the nap like the PP suggested? My girls go down about 1 and are usually up between 2 and 2:30. Our bedtime is 8:00, and most mornings they wake up between 6:30 and 7. This works perfect for us because During the week we need to be out the door about 7:15-7:30ish. Of course we have our random days where they are awake at 6:00 but not to often. For us, I think I will drop their nap before I make their bedtime later because I myself am usually in bed by 9:30/10:00 and that after bed time is "my" time to get stuff done for the next day, unwind, etc. so I want to keep that. Also I figure the naps will have to be dropped eventually so I would rather keep bedtime the same. But like I said you have to figure out what works best for your situation. I'm probably not being much help!

 

Hi:

One other thought -- how dark is their room? We used blackout shades, then later added curtains on top, and it made all the difference for early morning wake-ups, particularly in the summer when the sun is out early.

Mine always needed a LOT of sleep -- at age 2 and 3 sometimes 12 hours at night and a couple hours of nap. Around age 3.5 that changed a bit, as naps started to get shorter, then disappear. But now, mine sleep 11 hours at night and, if they don't get the sleep they need, they get increasing cranky.

Meg -- mom to 4 year old boy/girl twins

 

Meg, we have black out shades & a white noise machine. The perfect sleeping environment .

Rachel, even if I *wanted* to drop naps, they still nap at daycare, so they'd be all wonky from day to day. I really think they need their naps because they're quite grizzly if they don't get it. I *could* wake them early from nap, if I want to deal with Aiden. Conner always wakes up happy, but Aiden wakes up grumpy even if he wakes on his own . But when *I* wake him...WATCH OUT. It takes a good hour or so before he's less ornery & that's usually only if I can get him involved in some sort of activity. It's just not pretty.

I think we're going to try 8:30 for a bedtime tonight. Like Rachel, I really like my evenings. I miss my quiet evenings, actually. But, to get that back, I have a feeling we'll have to drop naps all together & I'm not sure when daycare does that. At least they go into their room without a fuss, regardless of what time we put them there. It's more ME that feels bad putting them in there at 7:30 just to have them fall asleep at 8:30.

Today they were up at 6 & took a 2 hour nap. We'll see how bedtime goes tonight! They were actually ASKING to nap today & fell right to sleep. Hmpf.

 

At that age, mine were napping 2-3 hours and going to sleep around 8:30. We put them to bed around 7:30, and they were still in cribs, so they'd just hang out and talk to each other or jump up and down or something. We should probably have let them stay up later, because we did have huge bedtime struggles and it was probably because they just weren't tired, but DH and I really wanted our evening kid-free time! And it worked well enough that we never felt we needed to change the entire schedule.

If yours are fairly content to be in their rooms for an hour after bedtime, don't feel guilty. Think of it as twin-on-twin bonding time.

We could not have dropped naps at that age even if daycare weren't a factor -- we tried while on vacation at age 3.5, and they still needed a nap every 2-3 days at least. Now, I would LOVE to drop naps, but they still nap at daycare and don't fall asleep at night till 9:30 or 10!