Dividing Attention

I feel bad sometimes. I have 10 month old boy/girl twins. My daughter is very high strung and demands a lot of our attention. On the other hand, her twin brother is very laid back, happy, content and therefore does not get as much attention as his sister. There are many days that I feel bad about this. Between the added attention our daughter needs and the attention our 3 year old needs so as not to feel jealous over the twins, our little twin son seems to get very little attention. I don't know if he minds - he seems very happy and content, but I do. Does anyone else have this issue? How do you deal with it? Lately we have been forced to ignore our daughter's screams, and give unseeked attention to our son, just so he doesn't feel left out. But I know he still gets far less attention then the other two.

 

My two have actually flip-flopped a couple of times regarding who needs more attention. As an infant M was definitely needier and A would very content to hang out in a boppy or on the activity mat. I felt terrible until one day my DH said to me "Look at A? Does she look unhappy to you?" He was right. Then A started getting needier and more demanding and M became more independent. So we were giving A much more attention and M would be on her own playing happily. Right now they are pretty even with their toddler-neediness and they sometimes fight over who sits in my lap, etc. Its so hard not to feel guilty, but if your DS is happy and your DD needs you more right now than so be it. In a couple months it might be the opposite. :hug:

 

Mine are the same as Leighann described. Sometimes one is needing a lot of attention and then it changes to the other one. Try not to feel too guilty, you are just one mommy, and maybe in a few days, weeks, or months it will change for you too.

 

Mine are b/g and are a lot like you described. As long as he is happy and content, I try not to worry if she is demanding :hug:.

 

mine are the same except its my boy who needs more. my girl is content to be on her own, but i hate it. people told me here that roles change sometimes, and at some point it will reverse. i try to give her attention, even if im holding him, i'll talk to her and she smiles. and when hes sleeping i try to play with her. dont feel too bad, we're doing the best we can

 

LOL, mine are exactly the same way. My DD likes alot of attention and my DS is more content playing by himself. But if he feels he's being left out he will let you know by climbing on me or tugging on me. One time he barged his way between my DD and me.

They will let you know when it's time to pay attention to them

 

I think what you are dealing with is very common. There is almost always going to be one baby who demands more attention. Don't get yourself stressed about it though. Your son is at an age where, if he needs more attention, he will let you know. It just sounds like you have a happy, content baby so count your blessings.