Discipline

Im full of questions today....

Im on duty today and my husband is home with the LO's. My dd has started hitting and they are throwing their food off the chairs. He thinks we need to come up with a "timeout" solution or some sort of discipline. I think they are still to young to completely understand this?

Any tips on discipline at 14.5 mo?
When do they start really getting it?

 

I think at that age just redirection and reminders. Like "no hitting, gentle" and show them how to touch gently. Throwing food "no throwing, we eat food" I think its ok to take food away after a few warnings ( I would just feed them myself after the warnings- but maybe that's not teaching the lesson but I would be bothered about them going hungry lol). Good luck

 

We just kept constantly reminding them the appropriate behavior that was expected. I felt like a broken record 110% of the time, but they did eventually get it.

 

I agree. At 14.5 months, I felt like a broken record. I think we started instituting time outs around 16 months and they would be for a minute. Our TO offenses were (and still are) for hitting & biting. As for throwing food, at 14.5 months they got three tries and if it happened a 4th time, meal time was over. The older they got, the less "tries" they received. Now they receive one try and for me, when the food starts hitting the floor it means they are done.

 

Mine only started tossing food at 17 months. It was a bit easier to remind them at that time and they are pretty good at listening. Whether they wish to follow my direction is another story. However, I agree with the above. It does take patience, but keep correcting them, maybe feed them yourself if they do not wish to handle their food right. If they just continue to grab the food and toss it, it's possible they really aren't that hungry at that time and maybe try again later. They will be more hungry for their next meal. You certainly won't be starving them if one meal is skipped. But persistence does pay off. Eventually they will get it that you want them to eat the food and not play with it. They are just trying to figure out the world around them and how it all works. Gravity is an amazing thing once they realize it exists.That too will eventually get boring and they will start to eat the food more...or toss it elsewhere if they still do not want to eat it .

 

If food gets thrown, I have always removed it immediately even when they were small. I do a 3x rule: they get warned and the 3rd time it´s timeout. With the hitting, I say "no hitting, only kissing!" It´s too cute to see them kiss each other only moments later after hitting! Mine are 19 months and still hit, but they know it´s wrong and it is getting less. Just keep repeating and be consistent with whatever method you use, they will get there. GL!

 

We are going through this too, not the food throwing so much anymore. We have noticed when they start to toss food that they are all done eating. It almost never happens in the first few minutes of the meal unless they are teething or overtired. When they do throw their food, I'll say once, "no throw, we eat". If they do it again..."Ok, we are done lunch" in a very casual tone and I remove them from their chairs and we go on with our day...it's never been an issue where they still seem hungry.

As for the hitting, this has been the hardest. Again we notice wtih Ryan it's mostly when he's tired, bored, teething or wants my attention (ok, so he's always hitting). if he hits me, i remove myself from his area, and say "I guess Ryan's done playing with mommy".

If he hits his brother, I know mostly he's doing it for a reaction from me, so i say "no, hit" and redirect him without giving him any attention, positive or negative, then we start over, like it never happened. he gets bored with it after awhile and plays nice. but it's a contstant battle with him. Meanwhile, I love on Christopher a little extra.

GL! it's so hard!

 

I wasn't really good at stopping meals... but I do agree that they won't starve... I now try to stop what we are doing or eating and get the meal over with. I think they understand more than we give them credit for. I truly haven't done much discipling at all... and am just now going to start attempting the 1-2-3 Magic discipline somehow. Its geared for 2yrs plus... but I think they will get the idea of small timeouts and what I think we haven't done well, is for us to NOT react. no extra talking about stuff, just stopping what they were doing that we didn't like.