discipline question

Hi, my boys are 11.5 months, but I feel like the 2nd year board would have a little more experience with discipline question.

When they bite, pull cords, shake lamps, hit each other I tell them "not for babies" or "no biting" etc... and redirect them. It's not working yet, but I realize it's going to take a lot of time. My question is how long until I see some progress? Thank you!!

 

Redirection was what worked best for us when our two were the same age as your boys. I would say it took a couple of months but then they move on to other things to test your limits. My best advice to you is to be consistent. Good luck!

 

redirection is good. I say "no" firmly twice, and if they continue I physically remove them. They will soon get it.

 

I agree with the other posters... I redirect but I also make sure that that they see my face when I say no. I also use 2 words like you do, don't touch, don't hit, be nice, be gentle those sort of things. It's a trying age but mine were better around 18 months however then we got climbers and at this point I want the curious ones back! :rotflmbo:

 

I agree with all the PP. They simply don't understand a lot other than you're saying something firmly and you don't look happy about it Redirect, don't give up and what seemed to help with one may not work with the other. One of my DD's got the concept of "no" pretty quickly...mostly because she was a bit intimidated by my firm "NO!". But the other took a bit longer to get it and she simply didn't acknowledge me at all! So redirecting her helped and getting down to her level and wagging my finger.

 

I used redirection and I spanked (for cords sometimes), but no matter what you do they are often going to do these things over and over and over. After a while I even decided that prevention was better because they wouldn't stop. We found a way to keep cords out of their reach, and we made them wear their shoes all the time, so they couldn't climb the superyard

I agree with the PP who said they will move on to something else to test boundaries. Cord grabbing and superyard climbing were awful at our house, now they pull off the couch cushions and jump on them. I'm sure this will last until next month when they find something new.

 

I really, really, really suggest the Love and Logic book for early childhood. It has a whole thing about the "Uh-Oh" song, and it has been very helpful--essentially:

1) Kids learn when you're serious (they're about to touch a hot stove) and when you're only kind of serious (about to touch the TV). You have to train yourself to react equally in all situations
2) When kids do something wrong, say in a sing song voice: "Uh Oh, tv is not for touching" and pick the kid up and move them. Repeat as necessary. After the 10th time, they figure it out--for a while. :rotflmbo:
3) At this age, kids are little scientists. They're not deliberately driving you crazy. They want to know if the rules apply in every situation (will mom react if dad's in the room? will she react if she's on the phone? will she react if the sun is up?)
4) Try to keep any emotions out of your discipline. They like both negative and positive reactions, stay super neutral so they don't know they're getting under your skin.
5) To save your sanity, consider containment. In our case, we have two secured rooms that each only have two or three rules so that I wasn't being run ragged. And once the boys learn the "uh oh" means they're doing something wrong, then you can bust it out in other situations, and give them a little more freedom.


(As an aside, I can't say Uh Oh anymore, except when I'm correcting a behavior, because when I say it, they both turn to me trying to figure out what they did wrong. I had to change the words a bit inWe're Going On A bear Hunt because of all the Uh Ohs)

 

Do you think its time to add a play-pin time out? "no touch" then when they don't listen play-pin for a minute?