Discipline Defiance Disobedience

Hi, we need some more good advice!

We are back from our trip to Mexico--and what a fun trip in the sun it was, though it was always difficult.

Maybe we're in one of these transition phases, but we've got to put a stop to all this fussing or at least figure out some way of getting some control over it. THe Fussing is about everything, it doesn't stop. If the The food we put on the plate for R is just the least bit wrong "Ahggggggggggg." If we tell J "No" he points his finger and starts hitting and screaming. Sorry, I'm trying to describe this quickly and it's not going very well, but I think you probably know exactly what I mean.

When J starts hitting mom or me, frankly I want to hit him back I'm so tired of it, but I don't. We do need some type of tool for dealing with this behavior, and now since we feel so powerless I think we are starting to resort to more physicological/sarcastic methods--and I think that might actually be making it worse. (that's from MY childhood and I know that ain't the way to deal with it!)

So, how the heck do we handle this?! I'll mention that Timeouts have so far been ineffective and we don't seem to know how to get them to stick. How do you keep a kid in the spot they are supposed to go without staying there yourself?

OK, I'm going to leave this as it is even though it seems to be all over the place! THanks!

 

:hug: :hug: and more :hug: They are at that age! I always used the 1-2-3 magic for my kids, save my ADHD and ODD boys who I still have "issues" with but they are more dealable with their meds. Have you called your ped to see what their advise is yet? I do know you may feel powerless but do not let your kids see it or feel it or they will take full control!

 

Timeout in their room? With no toys or books? Reward system for not acting up? Timeouts work, most of the time, for us, so I don't have a lot of great ideas. Doesn't stop the behavior from happening again, but does stop it for that instance. Good luck.

 

123 magic also has worked well here.

 

My kids also misbehave alot when they get back from a long trip. I think they are tired and are out of routine and it takes a few days to adjust.

What has worked for us ignoring/refusing their request until they stop fussing. So if they scream and cry because they don't like the way I served food, I'll tell them "You don't have to eat it if you don't like it." and take away the plate until they stop screaming. Once they are calm, I give them back the plate. If they start running around and screaming because they are mad about something, I ignore them.

If they hit me though, I would put them in timeout.

 

Our boys are close to yours age, and we have similar issues. They want to control everything! We are using a chart where they get stars for good behavior and the stars are removed for poor behavior. A full chart of stars means a special something for them, be it a treat, toy or special time with Mom or Dad. It seems to be working pretty well. Also, when they start to melt down, they are reminded they have a choice. Example ... you can continue this behavior and go to your room, and we won't go to the park later, or you can stop and we will go to the park later on your scooter. Bargain with whatever they really want. Works pretty well too. Sometimes nothing works and it's (what we believe to be) an attempt to get extra attention, good or bad, which can be hard if you are dealing with them by yourself, but sitting down and reading a book and having a little quiet time together helps a lot of the time. Good luck.