Dinnertime with Three Year Olds?

Hi all:

Dinnertime with our 3 year olds (3 and a quarter year olds, to be exact) is totally driving me crazy lately. I feel like a ping pong ball, bouncing up and down for all sorts of reasons (potty break for one or the other -- sometimes a LOOONG break, need another napkin, more milk, more food), there are claims of "I'm done" just as I'm about ready to put my first forkful of food in my mouth, and then at the end of dinner when I'm doing the clean-up, it always appears as though at least one kid (sometimes both) have not eaten more than one or two tiny bites. I'm the primary wageearner for our family and after work I rush through my commute home to help get dinner on the table, so at that point in the day I'm hoping for a bit of time to sit and chat!

Any suggestions for how to improve this? Or, at least tell me that it gets better over time? I want dinner to be a nice, friendly time for all of us to eat, talk about our day and enjoy each other. Is this a fantasy?

Meg

 

I feel the same way many times. My girls are usually good at sitting at the table even after they are finished, which is what we do until everyone gets finished, so that way at least we all can talk even when they claim to be "finished". Somedays it is still up and down, up and down, and I don't get much eaten until they claim to be finished, but I can usually bribe them to sit or finish up with a special dessert at least until I am finished. Really and truly, I can't remember a quiet, peaceful meal with my son until he was older, so I figure the girls are going to have to be a little older before I am not getting up and down quite so much.

 

I am the same way. lol
The only thing I do is make sure everyone has a drink and their plate of food and a napkin (and any condiments or other necessities) before I sit down. This way, if they ask for more drink, I will tell them, after they eat some of their dinner they can have more. They really dont ask for anything else if they have a napkin. What else could they need? I do sometimes have one or two needing to use the bathroom during dinner, but it isnt really an 'issue' for me.

Hopefully things will get better for you soon.

 

Ours is exactly like that, but it's getting a bit better as they get older.

They are not allowed to get down from the table except to go potty or to get themselves something from the kitchen that we agree they can have. (They like to get their own forks from the silverware drawer, their own yogurts from the fridge, etc., and this is actually very helpful as long as they don't go hog-wild in there.) If they get down for any other reason, they're done.

I also don't go with them to the potty, though I do go in when they're done to make sure things are under control.

I try to get everything I can think of on the table before I sit down, but they still invariably want more of something, or there's something I forgot, or they want their drinks in a different cup, etc. This drives me nuts, but it makes life more pleasant if I give them what they want whenever possible. So right now we're working more on "ask nicely." If they ask nicely and it's a reasonable request, I will usually give it to them, even though it means I'm hopping up and down all the time. Maybe we'll work on not making those requests in the first place when they're four. :laughing:

And I actually see it as a plus that they don't have to stay at the table with us till we're done -- they get down and (usually) play by themselves, and DH and I can finish our dinners and talk for 15 minutes in peace.

 

A few things we try to do before we call the kids to dinner is to make sure everyone goes potty before sitting down to eat (but yes there are times when someone still says they have to go during a meal), we also make sure the table is set, food on everyones plate, drinks are all set, and any extra food is on the table also (we don't like to get up to get things from the stove so all food is on the table). This helps with not having to get up so much, we still miss condiments sometimes but we are pretty good at remembering what the kids like with what. HAving food on plates already also gives my dh time to take a bite or two before someone asks for seconds on things, we also let our oldest two help themselves serving some things and are starting to let our son do the same like if he wants more apple sauce we just givehim the jar and spoon so he take take what he wants. When they ask for more milk they don't get anymore unless they eat an acceptable amount of food since we don't want them filling up on milk. Then we either get up to get them milk or my dh will just pour some out of his cup since our cups are bigger. When they are done they all clean up their plates and cups and put them by the sink and then they are aloud to go play we don't make them sit with us when they are done eating since if I finish first I will start cleaning up and not stay at the table.

 

We have all the plastic dishes in drawers that the girls can reach. They empty the dishwasher of the dishes they can put away, and set the table with their dishes. The glass or ceramic dishes we eat off are up high and I or one of the older kids take care of those from the dishwasher and setting the table. They can also get the silverware. So I often ask them to be responsible for putting their dishes on the table. I use cloth napkins, and keep them in a basket on the table. I get the dinner ready and at the table (or DH does... he cooks probably 3 times/mo, though more when I was pregnant) and have the children set the table, then we sit down and bless the food. DH or I serve the food and we start to eat. Occasionally I've forgotten something, but if one of the kids does, I ask them to get it. Potty breaks aren't too much of an issue, though they happen occasionally. I think mostly it's just a matter of getting used to a routine... and that can take some time. Hang in there, it's really worth it to have family dinner together!!!

 

It does get better as they get older.
One thing that eased mealtime for us was meal planning. The menu is set and all the ingredients are waiting. That way at least there isn't any "What's for dinner? I don't know. What do you want?" That relieved alot of the stress before sitting down to eat. As for needing things during the meal, try to anticipate their requests (which menu planning helps do) and have the things already set out.

Lastly, deep breath. It *does* get better. Rinse. Repeat.