Dinner Drama!

For the last two nights, DD has pitched an absolute fit at dinnertime. I mean, throw my food off my tray, get put down and throw myself on the floor kicking and screaming until I'm practically hyperventilating fit! I don't know how to handle this. If I put her down and ignore her, she can't seem to calm herself down and will go on for a loooong time.

She's always been a good, although getting pickier, eater. The last two nights, though, she won't eat anything and throws a fit. We do have to feed them almost immediately when they come in the door from daycare at night so maybe she needs more transition time. Or maybe she's mad because it's been nice outside and we've made them come in the house right from the car and she LOVES to be outside. I really can't figure it out.

After she calms down, she did drink her milk and had a couple animal crackers (yeah, I know, probably not the smartest thing, but I worry about her not eating anything because she is so tiny). The Ped has her on Carnation Instant Bfask to get her more calories. She's 18 months and around 20lbs. Tonight before bed, DH got her to eat some banana and she scarfed the whole thing down in a couple minutes, so I know she's hungry. She eats breakfast great and lunch fine. I have noticed she has a clear preference for sweet foods (like most bfast foods, sweet potatoes, etc.)

Any advice? (Of course, DS is happily eating all his food while all of this is going on.....thank God for that!)

 

We have a rule "No crying in the kitchen." If someone cries they have to go into the other room, without food, until the crying stops. This rule also applies to yelling, temper tantrums, etc. So far it's been working. When the child crying calms down he/she can come back into the kitchen to eat. Once it took 45 min, but my DS finally calmed down and came back to eat. Good luck!

thea

 

My boys were excellent eaters from the moment I gave them real solid food at 10 months, they ate whatever I put in front of them. Breakfast was always their fav where they would always finish everything. Lunch was a nice handful of things hotdogs, grilled cheese, PB&J, nuggets, wraps, sandwhiches, etc. Dinner they would hardly ever finish their entire plate but they ate.
Around January especially my Evan breakfast became only cereal, ceral bars, Quaker breakfast bites and sausage they would not any of the many things I didn't think twice about giving them. Lunch became PB&J followed by the occasional hotdog or nuggets. Dinner PB&J they would never eat what I put in front of them at all...
Tonight for the first time in a good 3 months they ate dinner which was chicken, corn, dinner rolls and noodles no mention of PB&J...I can't say it will be the same for tomorrow but it's a start and I really think it is a phaze many, many toddlers go through around the ages of 1-4. I was strictly a person who said they will eat what I give them but after a few nights of battling and causing tention I just let it go if they wanted to eat PB&J morning, noon and night so be it! Of course, they would eat other things with that like yogurt, most fruit and a few other things I couldn't go wrong with but the mainstay was PB&J to me, sometimes you have to pick your battles it makes the stress a whole lot easier!

As far as tantrums we did the same thing as above...you go in the other room and sit until the crying/tantrum stops tops was 2 minutes and they would be back in the highchair.

 

I wish I had some advice for you, we are in the exact same spot, except it is DS that pitches the fits while DD sits there happily munching away. DS went into a major fit over only wanting applesauce the other night, it was horrible!!!

If we had a no crying/screaming rule in the kitchen I would have to *ahem* excuse myself sometimes!!!

 

It sounds like your dd may need some more transition time before she eats. But, if everyone else is hungry and needs to eat right away, have her start the meal. When she throws the fit, take her out of the highchair and tell her that she can come back to eat when she is ready and then take her to another room. Then, when she shows interest in eating later, offer her dinner, no other options. If there are things that you know she will eat and are fine with eating as part of dinner (like a banana, bread with pb on it, etc) just include that as part of the meal. That way, she is still eating the food that was prepared for dinner, not another option later and she will eventually learn to eat what you have put on her plate.

My oldest DD is super picky and there are many nights that I am sure that she goes to bed hungry since she will not eat or even try the food for dinner. She can't eat anything else if she hasn't tried a bite of everything on her plate and eaten all of her veggies. Zachary is not picky, but lately he has not been hungry at dinner time when everyone else is ready to eat. So, he sits and prays with the family and then I have let him go and play, but not in the kitchen. Then, when he is hungry (about an hour later) he sits down and scarfs down his meal. He is also given his food from dinner, not another option.

Best of luck. I know that they are concerned about her weight, but I would try to pack in the caleries during the day when she doesn't appear to have issues with eating so that you can make sure that she is eating what is for dinner, unless you want to make the choice to be a short order cook for her.

 

Thanks, everyone. Such great advise! I think I'm going to have to find the strength to take her out of the room and let her not eat occasionally. I HAVE TO not give her animal crackers, etc, just to get something in her tummy. I know that's the right thing to do. Thanks for giving me the motivation.

 

I also think it sounds like some kind of transition issue. She doesn't want to start eating at the time that you want her to, and then she gets so mad about it that she CAN'T eat. We still have days like this every once in a while (sometimes a few days in a row).

I agree with the advice about putting her down from the table if she's pitching a fit -- however, I've had more success by trying to head off the fit in the first place. Try (if you can) spending just 5 minutes or so playing with her (or both of them) before dinner, or giving them a few more minutes to play outside, or even 15 minutes of TV (that last one is what's helped a lot for us!). I just found that after a certain age, they didn't want to come straight in the door from daycare and sit down for dinner. And things went a lot smoother once I stopped expecting that.

I also like the idea about giving her something you know she likes as part of "dinner" (not as a backup option). I usually do that, even if it's something totally unrelated to dinner -- like a banana or applesauce -- just so I know that if they're not eating, it's because they're not hungry, not because they hate everything on their plates.

 

I agree with everyone else says need more time to transition when coming home from daycare. My twins are going through no-eat dinner stage and preferably to eat breakfast and lunch. They don't get any morning snack but I do give them a healthy snack at 3 pm. And they don't eat dinner until about 5:30 to 6:00 PM. I think they are so used to eating the similar food that I give them. Lately I tried to change the dinner menu. My son is a picky eater while my daughter is good at "trying" anything.

One thing I noticed my son can't seem to grasp to eat bite size instead he would sort of lick it or nibble it at a time. My daughter is starting to understand how to eat a sandwich and etc. I'm so tired of cutting up small sizes. They're 18 mos old!!!!!!!!!

The good news my son knows how to use his spoon/fork but not my daughter is still using her hands....Ugh!
D, w/Rianna and Justin