different classrooms?

I'm sure this has been discussed plenty on this forum, so forgive me! I was wondering what the general consensus is on whether or not twins should be in separated in elementary school.

I have identical boys. (They are only 16 months, but I'm thinking ahead to the future here.) We are considering sending them to a Catholic school, but it is a small school with only one classroom per grade. So if they went to that school, they would be in the same class together every year. The school is K-8.

Any thoughts/advice on this from parents who have been there is appreciated.

Michelle

 

I'm sure this has been discussed plenty on this forum, so forgive me! I was wondering what the general consensus is on whether or not twins should be in separated in elementary school.

I have identical boys. (They are only 16 months, but I'm thinking ahead to the future here.) We are considering sending them to a Catholic school, but it is a small school with only one classroom per grade. So if they went to that school, they would be in the same class together every year. The school is K-8.

Any thoughts/advice on this from parents who have been there is appreciated.

Michelle

 

I'd say this is one of the most popular topics for this forum. Here is one from not to long ago that got quite lengthy if you would like to look it over. I kept my girls together in kindergarten, separated them in first grade and then they've been together ever since. They are fraternal and very different, so I do think that seems to make keeping them together a bit easier than when they are identical, from what I have read here from parents if ID's. Our school is not huge, but only has 3-4 classes per grade level and I found that I usually preferred one teacher in each grade and wanted my girls to have the benefit of the same education, so to speak, because the teachers seem to have a variety of teaching styles. I do think that probably each of my girls could benefit from different teaching styles since they are different themselves, but I didn't want to always wonder if one was getting the "better" teacher and I felt that it helped quite a lot to have the same homework and field trips, etc. There is another set of twins in their class this year that has been together since kindergarten, but this is the first time they've been in the same class as either Caitlin or Sarah. As I said, I do think with ID twins different issues come into play as well, so you might want to peruse that other thread when you have some time.

 

I expect it is easy on the parents to have the same homework every night. As to the issue of who is getting the best teacher, I suppose one teacher might be right for one and wrong for the other, so I'm not so sure that having them in the same class really helps all that much.

Our were together in preschool and preK and that worked fine. They were separate in K and now in first and that is fine too.

Ours are totally different so the issues are different than with id twins.

In general though, in addition to the whole developing their own identities and the whole business of having no one knowing which is which, I think many kids behave better and pay better attention apart. Ours do anyway. They know just how to get each other rev'd up.

In the end though, I expect that for most kids they will do fine either way. Kids for the most part, and especially if around adult sensitive to the issue, will do fine in a wide range of situation.

And you have years to watch yours and figure out what their needs will be.

Good luck.

 

Rod's right, Michelle, you do have YEARS to watch your kids develop and make your decision based on your kids or your needs. If you do put them in the private school with just one class per grade then you have NO decision to make! LOL. It's made for you and I'm sure the kids will adjust fine. If they don't do well in that situation then it would be time for you to consider other options.

My id girls went to one year of pre-school before Kindergarten and were in the same class. They did fine, made some same friends, some separate friends, and I was surprised how when they had "free" play that they rarely played together! So based on that, I decided to keep them separate in public school. They are in 3rd grade now and having different teachers, slightly different homework has not been difficult. I think it actually helps with any competition that may arise due to speed or accuracy. My older two daughters were a grade apart, so of course had different homework, teachers, etc. so basically if your twins are separated it's just like having two kids in school. I don't think the "twin thing" in school is as big an issue as we parents tend to make it.

 

quote:
In general though, in addition to the whole developing their own identities and the whole business of having no one knowing which is which, I think many kids behave better and pay better attention apart. Ours do anyway. They know just how to get each other rev'd up.


This was crucial for us. My girls have the gift for gab and I really truely think if they were together, they would be getting in trouble. Not because they are bad, but because they really do rile each other up. Separating the girls was the best decision I have ever made. Both teachers have different teaching styles, but one is not better than the other. Both are great, and because the girls were screened for K, they were placed in the appropriate classes. My vote is separate. The longer you wait, the harder the separation will be on them.

 

We have triplets aged 10. They are in 4th grade because where their birthday falls (after the Dec 15 cut off date) meant that they couldn't start school anywhere near their fifth birthday! Our triplets include two children who are somewhat shy, and find it harder to make friends, but get along really great together, and one child who is outgoing, talkative, makes friends easily, and isn't quite as friendly to the other triplets. At their school, which is very large and has several 4th grade classes, the administrators decided to put our 2 shy children in the same classroom for mutual support, though they don't sit together, and that has worked out great since they have a very kind and supportive teacher. Our outgoing, talkative child is in a seperate classroom, and gets different homework, and has a teacher who is very interesting, but firm, though she is fair. Some schools seem to have strict rules on such things, but if they don't, I personally would keep shy kids together, at first anyway, but I would think seriously about seperating more outgoing, talkative children to maximise their friendships.

 

The boys were together in pre-k and kindergarten and then again in 1st grade down in Florida. Right before we moved to Kansas, the principal of their new school called me just to talk to me a little bit about the school and told me that their "policy" is to separate all twins. At first, I was really upset about this and told him so and also told him that I did not think it was a good idea as they'd always been together, not to mention the fact that they were going thru some major changes in our daily lives. As it turns out, it's been really, really great for them to be in separate classes! Who knew!? LOL First, I have to say that Isiah didn't talk until he was 3 and then Michael did most of the talking for them...the speech therapist at school used to have to tell Michael to let Isiah talk for himself. And then, Michael used to have to interpret for Isiah as hardly anyone BUT Michael could understand him. Their report cards came out recently from their new school and Isiah's teacher had an extra note in their about how he's doing and adjusting to being in a class without his brother. She said that when she calls on him to give an answer to something, he hesitates and questions his answers and she always tries to encourage him to give the answer that he thinks is the correct one...that it's ok if he gets it wrong sometimes, you can't always be right. She stated in the note that she thinks that he's so used to Michael being there to help him when he's not sure of the answer. Isiah is the more outgoing one...def NOT afraid to ask anyone ANYTHING...LOL and Michael is the shyer one of the two. Michael's teacher's note in the report card said that he is making LOT of friends in his class and is beginning to open up. I really think that you have to really look at how your kids interact not only with each other but with other people as well before you can make this decision. I believe tho that starting them out together is good...when the boys were in the same class, they didn't ALWAYS play together or sit by each other but just knowing that the other one was nearby was enough. Then, you can always separate them the next year, if the school has more than one classroom that is.

 

I registered mine for kindergarten today, and the counselor told me the district's policy is to separate twins. That's just fine with me. As IDs, my boys HATE being called the wrong name. My singleton has survived being in classrooms with no siblings, so I know Hayden and Brady can do it, too. I think it will be great for them to have their own friends and not always be referred to as one unit. We even have the prospect of entirely different schools in 1st grade if one tests into the gifted school and one doesn't. Again, I think it would be great for developing their individuality and ensuring the teachers give the correct assessment for the correct child instead of seeing them as one kid.

 

Amy, you've got a great attitude about it. I also think having identicals, that it was good for my boys to separate in kindergarten. They also were so tired of being constantly mixed up and being asked not only by teachers but by the other students, which one are you? It was time for them to have a little of their own space, in our case. I am sure that your boys will enjoy some time apart.

 

Our girls are now in Year 2 (third year of schooling in Australia), age 7. This year, for the first time, we have had them placed in separate classes.
Olivia has always been a bit ahead of Emily, academically, socially and physically. After Emily's request last year to be in separate classes, we thought it time (along with their teachers support) to separate them. Their first term has come to an end, and it has been a very successful move. They both have always been fairly independent of each other, but it has mainly helped Emily, who has lived in the shadow of her sister at school up until now.