Did you hire a doula?

Hi all; I'm curious to hear if you hired a doula, and what you found the experience to be like.....I have a girlfriend who is a cerified DOULA and I would be comfortable with her....but I'm not sure how much help they can really provide. I'm also curious how medical personnel respond to their efforts. Do you have any wisdom to share? thank much, wendy

 

I'm having a planned c-section with these twins, so I won't be using one this time...but I'm lucky I'll have family support right when the babies come home. However, I labored for 24 hours with my ds...I WISH I had a doula. My dh was sweet but not that helpful with the pain, and the nurses were so busy that they really didn't check on me that much. I don't think there would've been a 'clash' had I a doula been helping me with the pain of labor. I don't know what the hosplital's policy would've been during the actual delivery...I ended up with an emergency c-section. GL in your decision!

 

we hired a doula & it was a total sanity saver! the gal we hired was a stranger at the time - we found her through our local doula association. the help they provide is immeasureable - my doula was able to keep my spirits up while i sat in triage overnight, she was a wonderful source of information & education, she helped me focus through contractions & was able to "teach" me how to push effectively (the doctors kept trying to explain it to me but i just couldn't understand them), her voice was like a rock for me to hold onto during pushing, and since my girls were born early (34w1d) and were taken to the NICU right away, along with my husband, she was the only one left in the room with me post-delivery. had she not been there, i would have been in that room, by myself, without any idea how my girls were doing. having her there kept me calm & reassured until my DH was able to get back & let me know what was going on. the help she provided was kind of a subtle thing - she was calm, reassuring, positive, encouraging, she was a great energy to have around (if that makes sense).

even if it turns out that you need a c-section or you know you want an epidural as soon as possible, a doula can be a huge emotional support & can help your partner by taking over so they can have a break.

as to how medical personnel respond to doulas, it really seems to depend on what their prior experience with doulas has been. my OB didn't like doulas, but i didn't like my OB so that was fine. :laughing: i was confident that on the day of delivery (if my OB was on call) that my doula was not going to make waves or create conflict in the birthing room. i knew that she would be professional & would do her job & that there wouldn't be any problems. other doctors & nurses LOVE doulas - they love that their labouring woman will have that one on one support that they most likely can't provide because they're just too busy. part of the problem is that any person can call themselves a doula & so some nutjobs are overstepping their bounds & creating conflict in the birthing room & giving all doulas a bad name. if you decide to hire a doula, double check their credentials. DONA is the leading certifying body for doulas in north america. that's who i'm getting my certification through. let me know if you have any other questions - i'd be happy to answer them.

 

We had one. I liked her, but wasn't sure what help she'd be. But wow, what a good decision! I really liked having some one, like a friend, who had been through plenty of births stay by me and talk me though, get me what I needed. My husband is a sweetheart, and my mom was there too, but there's a focus and confidence that a doula will bring that few family members can.

Definitely something worth considering!

 

I had one with my vbac, mainly because I was planning to go unmedicated. Unless you are planning on that though I'm not sure how much help one would be. I don't even know if most docs like twin moms to go without an epidural because of the possibility of needing them in for a c/s with the second baby.

Anyway, my doula was not all that supportive. She was fairly silent when I needed someone to just tell me I was doing a good job and that 'You can do it.' I was less than impressed by her. So my advice to doula seekers is to talk with at least 2 or more women that she's already worked with. I spoke with one friend who had worked with her, but I didn't question her methods enough.

But all this being said, if this woman is your friend and you know she's verbally supportive and will do what she says she'll do then it wouldn't be a horrible idea. You just have to weigh out the possible benefits with the cost if she's charging you.

I do know that in spite of her deflating performance as a supportive doula, I did get some kind of weird psychological boost just knowing that I had shelled out money to have her there to make it through naturally. It's almost like knowing I put that money out made me more determined to make it all the way through...and I did. LOL. But the doula herself could've been anybody and it wouldn't have made much difference due to her silence! I felt like she was nothing more than a clinical observer in the room. Ticked me off!

 

I planned to have a home waterbirth supervised by a midwife and her assistant, so I didn't plan to hire a doula. I learned at 20 weeks that I was having twins (and that one probably had IUGR) so I had to transfer to a perinatologist. My midwife offered to stay on as pregnancy support and then serve as a doula during labor and delivery.

Like Miss_Bossy 18, I can't say enough about having a doula (even though mine was really a midwife). It was fantastic. She had so many suggestions that DH and I never would have considered. She helped us communicate with the hospital staff. But the best thing was that she was totally focused on me. It freed DH up to be scared, excited, etc. He didn't have to be my main support at all times.

I ended up having a semi-emergency C-section so I didn't need assistance with pain management or coaching when I pushed. But it was great to have there when I got my magnesium shot, and when I needed to go to the bathroom with an IV in. After my girls were born she helped DH get acquainted with the NICU procedures and then came back to my room to help me adjust post-delivery.

All in all, our doula was fantastic. She took so much of the stress out of the entire process. If you're considering a doula, important questions to ask are how they work with hospital staff, whether they've assisted at births at your specific hospital, what support they'll provide pre-birth, during, and after.

 

I think I REALLY would have benefitted from a doula with my first. I had planned a vaginal delivery with an epidural. I was very disorriented and scared when I ended up having horrible back labor - I didn't know what was going on and I couldn't cope with the pain. I only pushed for about 45 minutes before they moved to a c-section. I think having a doula would have helped me cope better and maybe I could have pushed longer. I was so unprepared for labor because I was planning on the epidural (I attended classes, but didn't take them seriously enough!).

 

I am an L & D nurse in a rural area and have only had experience with one Doula. From the nursing aspect, she was awesome since the mom was very adamant about having a natural delivery and she was able to help me help her so I could still do my nursing work plus support her. The only downfall is that it seemed to leave the husband out a little more than those who don't have a Doula. I would ask your husband if he is okay with it as well. Is this your first pregnancy? If so, I would recommend one since they have a lot of knowledge in an area that you are more unfamiliar with. The one I had experience with stayed after the delivery and helped with nursing and getting up to the bathroom, all of which your nurses should help you with but they can be very busy at times so can't be as helpful as they would like to be. I have knowledge in the area plus have a supportive husband and I am planning on having one of my nursing friends be there for the delivery so they can help support and be with the babies after they are born. Good luck!!

 

this is a good point - DONA has a great article about how dads & doulas can work together to create a positive experience for everyone. you can check it out here. i know my husband was thrilled to have our doula around - he felt so overwhelmed by everything that was happening that he found her calm, reassuring nature to be just as helpful to him as to me. as he put it, it would never have occurred to him to get me some water/ice chips while i was pushing but that was a real help to me & my doula just did it on her own initiative.

from a professional standpoint, i'm glad to hear your experience with the doula was positive. :good:

 

I'm having a post-partum doula. Since i'm having a scheduled c/s, I don't feel the need for her there during the actual birth. My DH is more than enough. We plan to have her come into the hospital on day 2 or 3 to assist with breast feeding. My doula is also a laleche league consultation (BF specialist). Basically a post-partum doula comes into your home AFTER the birth and helps. This can be during the day as initial support to get things started OR at night (which we are doing). Basically, we'll have her come 2-3 times a week for the first month for 6-7 hours at night. That way DH can have a break and she brings babies to me, helps me ensure that BF is going well and changes and settles them back to sleep. This allows me to get a little more sleep in as well.

That's how we plan to use a doula. I have heard this really helps in the early days.

GL

 

I had a doula for my first birth and she was absolutely amazing. She knew exactly what I needed from her before I knew myself! Also, a good doula will NEVER displace your DH and will tell you as much. I had DH on one side and Amy on the other. DH held my hand and was my quiet strength, Amy softly rubbed my arm and told me what a good job I was doing, helped me move around the room and bowed out when DH and I wanted some privacy! I couldn't imagine even the early stages of labor without her there. my hospital does require an epidural be placed, but as long as baby A cooperates I'll be opting for no meds in it. I'll definately need Amy with me. Even if I wind up w/ an epidural and a c-section I'll want her there. I'll need someone to support me when DH needs to see to our babies.