did you have help in the hospital?

I dont know why i just thought of this, with my other two singletons, my workaholic husband really wasnt around too much during the day in the hospital,
Just wondering if you guys had an extra set of hand there the whole time with you? were the nurses helpful ?

What did u guys do?

 

DH was there almost the whole time except when he went home to change clothes. We don't have any other children, though. I don't know what I would have done without him -- I was sick from the anesthesia (c-section) and felt like I'd been run over by a truck from the pregnancy and surgery. I could barely stand up long enough to change a diaper. Fortunately the babies slept most of the time and we sent them to the nursery at night, but even so, I don't think I could have handled it on my own.

 

My boys were in the nicu while I was there, which was actually a relief because I was recovering. I would wobble in at each feeding and then they had them all night. It was probably the best week of the first 3 months lol!

 

(With my daughter) DH got sick after the first day. I sent him home. I didn't want him getting the baby sick, so I asked my mom to come and stay with me. I had a c-section. I don't think they would have left the baby with me at night if I didn't have my mom there. IT wasn't like I could get up out of the bed and get her. I could barely walk. Also it was great to have someone there all the time to fetch stuff if I needed it. The nurses weren't around a whole lot... even though there were only 4 babies on the floor.

 

With my son my husband was in the hospital with me whole days ( and went home only to sleep)
but DS was in the NICU for 3 days for low blood sugar and after that we got him only for 3 hours and he was taken back for high billirubin so he was under the lamp for another 3 days. so yes I did need help after c-section but I think that 4 days were just waist of time for DH
This time we decided that he will continue working while I would be in the hospital and he will take off only day of delivery and day when we would be discharged.
About the nurses I woudl say they were good and help if I asked for that help.
will see this time I will be using another hospital.

 

My twins were in the NICU so my experience was a little different. But we also had an older DD at home, so even if they weren't in the NICU, my DH would not have been able to be there all the time and I would have preferred he be with our oldest DD anyway. As it was he came down once or twice a day and would stay for a bit.

 

My DH got a LOT of OT work [that he'd been begging for the previous months] assigned to him a couple days before the girls were born [lasted for a few weeks] so he could not stay with me and the girls overnight. My MIL stayed with me the entire time and did almost Everything for me. [My right leg stayed numb from the epidural from the middle of the thigh down to about the middle of my calf for a month and a half. I even needed assistance to use the restroom and I had to be sitting down to hold the babies.] She helped out soo much and even if I didn't have the problem with the leg being numb I still would have appreciated the help especially since I knew absolutely Nothing about babies before-hand. They were my First diaper change even!

 

I had my mom there with me. :wub: My DH was around as well but he wasn't as comfortable with babies (never held one before ours) so my mom helped. :good:

 

Not at all times, but most of the time. I didn't with my other 3, the c-section recovery with the twins was much more difficult for me.

 

I had a c-section with the girls and I did have help. My mom and dh took turns. I needed help getting out of bed for the first day or two. I also needed help nursing them and the nurses weren't always available, so I was really glad to have my own help.

 

18 days in NICU as growers/feeders (meaning no serious medical issues).

I roomed in w/them the whole time (no older siblings) as we were breastfeeding (and struggling with it). As a new mom I really wanted to take advantage of the time to do as much as possible for them myself (not to mention I couldn't drive due to the c-section). I felt like it was a good 'training' phase to have the nurses there to answer questions. As a seasoned mom you may feel different.

I asked DH to save his time off for when the babies came home. MIL came everyday to help with a feeding (as if she could help herself and stay away for more than 24 hours!). My mom (not retired yet) came a few times a week. Daddy came in the evenings every day. I handled the rest pretty much on my own after the first 24-48 hours.

My c-section recovery, btw, was a piece of cake compared to what I hear from others. I did a lot of walking in/around the hospital between feedings and I'd like to think that helped, but if you're too sore to even do that, it'd be a moot point.

 

DH was there all the time, for 3 nights and 4 days. They had me in a large room and even though there was a bed for a shared room, the nurses allowed DH to take the bed so he could be there with me at night.


Kenneth and Ian were born at 38.2 weeks

 

My dh worked, so no I didn't have consistent help. People (grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc) were around most of the time during the day but not all the time. For me, the nights were the worst. My two roomed in with me (not my idea, the hospital here doesn't take them to the nursery anymore unless there is a problem) & trying to deal by myself with two screaming newborns while juggling my iv and just being super-sore was terrible. If you have anyone who can help, I would definitely recommend it, that way you will be able to get at least a little bit of rest!

 

My DH was there the entire time and actually ended up doing pretty much everything for the babies while we were in the hospital ~ thankfully! I was dealing with some PPD issues and had a hard time with feedings - so he ended up being the rockstar diaper changer & feeder :wub:

 

This topic came up before we knew we were having twins! DH was trying to tell me that he would not be able to stay at the hospital because of ODD.

I reminded him that DD was easygoing. She is the most easygoing kid ever. I have had my friend down the street (who has a DD the same age) and she has watched my DD as a favor (and I reciprocate). DD will waltz away from me and not even look up when I say goodbye. She also has a grand time with her grandparents, so she would be in good hands without DH.

I reminded him that I was having a repeat c/s, and who is going to help me get out of bed when the baby cries, etc? We can't depend on the nurses- there are other patients and they are not just there for me.

And then we found out that we were expecting twins. There is no way I could handle four days in the hospital without an extra pair of hands! We'll bring DH a comfy blanket and pillow for the rollaway bed. And snacks too!

 

DH stayed with me 24/7 until I was allowed to go home except to go home and shower. He slept on the pull out couch/chair they had in the room (all private rooms). He did this with our 1st DD and also with the twins. My parents watched my older DD when I went in to have the twins.

 

The boys were my first and I had a c/s. DH stayed with me the entire time-thank goodness! I was in such a fog after the surgery-I couldn't even keep the boys straight! He never left-except to go home and get things, etc. The c/s floor has two beds in each room, and because it was slow-he was able to stay in the room at night as well. The nurses are helpful, but they do have other babies to tend to as well. The boys slept in the nursery so I could rest. I am sure I had some ppd issues in the very beginning-couldn't get the hang of breastfeeding, one went to the NICU, and the IL's wouldn't leave....DH did A LOT while in the hospital. I don't think I even changed a diaper!

I go back in three weeks to have #3. DH is definitely staying the first night, if not the second night. We have plenty of help lined up at home for the boys with parents/aunts taking days off, etc. Now if this baby decideds to come on his/her own...We're going to be in a little pickle! LOL!

 

My DH has a really hard time with hospitals. So I count it good that he's there with me through my entire labor and delivery. He's never slept at the hospital with me, even with our first. He does bring the older kids to visit and stays for awhile and helps when he's there. But I've never had a c-section, so it wasn't as vital to have the help. And whenever I needed something, the nurses have always been fabulous!

 

Our hospital had a strict policy - no help, no babies. It was at least for the first 24 hours with a vaginal birth, longer for C's if I remember correctly. I had help 24/7. And I needed it. I had a relatively easy L&D, but I was still pretty wiped out. It took me a couple of days before I was really back on my feet and ready to do anything and everything by myself.

 

DH spent the night with me in the hospital and spent most of the day there too. He would leave when my parents or his mother showed up and run home and shower, eat and do a few things around the house and then come back. I had never been in the hospital before and never had surgery (c-section for me) and I was very nervous about not having DH there. He kind of kept me from freaking out or worrying about stuff.

 

My SO stayed the entire time and only left the hospital for about an hour a day. We only had one baby room in with us while the other was on oxygen in the nursery. We all stayed an entire week until both babies were released. My mom stayed home to care for my two older girls and she brought them to the hospital once a day to visit.

 

I would say you need help at the hospital.

I didn't have a good experience and debated posting but here goes anyhow. I had the girls at 10pm, so was settled back in the room by probably 2am I think, DH went home as wasn't a private room. Babies woke up crying next to me I couldn't move because of c section or reach them and kept calling nurses who took forever to come.

Next day to take shower asked nurses could they watch them whilst I took shower, they said to leave them in my room, I said not comfortable doing that, so they did under protest, 1/2 way through my shower they came in to see if i'd finished yet, I'd just had a c section kind of hard to get dried and move around.

Stood at one point the next day with blood just pouring from me on the floor and babies on opposite side me still attached to cathetar and phoning calling nurses and being told they would be there soon it was at least 1/2 hour.

My DH did come for a few hours each day, but really wished I had someone with me all the time the girls next to me had her mom there the whole time. Unfortunately I don't have any family living in the same country.

So try to get help and have someone to advocate for you if u need it.

 

Thanks everyone for your replies, I dont know why I hadnt thought about this until now, but i guess i better start making plans for who will be able to be with me when, i know the hospital for sure doesnt allow overnight visitors, and I'll have to play it by ear to see who i can line up when

 

QUOTE
i know the hospital for sure doesnt allow overnight visitors
Are you sure DH (or a close family member) would be considered a "visitor"? Our hospital had very liberal visiting policies in the maternity area (you could basically have anyone, anytime, as long as it didn't disturb the other patients), but even if yours doesn't, I'd be shocked if DH weren't allowed to be there at night.

 

With my other 2, fatheres were allowed to stay until 11 and come back at 8. Most of the rooms are not private, if i can get a private room, maybe i could have someone stay, but in general they dont allow it.

I would let the nursery keep the babies overnight anyhow

 

our hospital had a strict NO rooming in policy! They felt that new mom's needed rest at night - they took the babies by 11 pm back to the nursery and brought them in around 7 - if you were breastfeeding they brought them every 3 hours for you - if you were FF they fed them overnight in the nursery..

DH stayed the night I was induced (and failed) and the 2nd night after my section - he went home at night after that - the maternity ward didn't have beds for dads, they had these VERY uncomfortable pull out plastic chairs to sleep on...we would take the babies down to the nursery together about 9 or 10 pm and he'd go home then for the night until about 7 or so the next morning - my mom and dad and grandma as well as lots of friends rotated in and out of my room....so everyone got a chance to feed although Tony and I did most of the diapering duties...