Did I do the right thing? 16 mos& tantrum

I still keep running this over in my head, not sure what I should or should not have done.

Yesterday they got shots, so that might have been related to the super fussiness the first half of today. 30 min before naptime, and we're in the family room watching the Baby Einstein as our nap wind-down. Bea and Ainsley are standing up in front of the sliding glass door. Ainsley cannot stand independently yet, so she is holding on for support. Bea starts pushing her and pulling her arm. First I say "No, you are hurting Ainsley, Stop!" It happens two more times, and I repeat it. Third time, and Ainsley is crying now, I pick Bea up and take her to the sofa, hold her for 20 seconds, tell her it's wrong to hurt Ainsley, you stop when I say stop. She proceeds to throw a tantrum, won't stop crying and yelling. I try to distact her a bit (but I also don't want it to seem like she gets something good after doing bad). I say "look at the TV, it's a doggie" stuff like that, show her a book she likes. She carries on, I leave her to her tantrum, but after another ten minutes, she's throwing things and stuff so I go ahead and put her down for her nap, screaming and everything. I didn't like putting her down in the state she was in, but she was awful and it was upsetting Ainsley.
She screamed for about 5 min and then took a decent 2.5 hr nap.

So, is how I handled it appropriate for 16 months? I know I can't exactly do time outs yet, and redirection only goes so far. If one is hurting the other, then that has to stop immediately and they need to know it's wrong.

 

I still keep running this over in my head, not sure what I should or should not have done.

Yesterday they got shots, so that might have been related to the super fussiness the first half of today. 30 min before naptime, and we're in the family room watching the Baby Einstein as our nap wind-down. Bea and Ainsley are standing up in front of the sliding glass door. Ainsley cannot stand independently yet, so she is holding on for support. Bea starts pushing her and pulling her arm. First I say "No, you are hurting Ainsley, Stop!" It happens two more times, and I repeat it. Third time, and Ainsley is crying now, I pick Bea up and take her to the sofa, hold her for 20 seconds, tell her it's wrong to hurt Ainsley, you stop when I say stop. She proceeds to throw a tantrum, won't stop crying and yelling. I try to distact her a bit (but I also don't want it to seem like she gets something good after doing bad). I say "look at the TV, it's a doggie" stuff like that, show her a book she likes. She carries on, I leave her to her tantrum, but after another ten minutes, she's throwing things and stuff so I go ahead and put her down for her nap, screaming and everything. I didn't like putting her down in the state she was in, but she was awful and it was upsetting Ainsley.
She screamed for about 5 min and then took a decent 2.5 hr nap.

So, is how I handled it appropriate for 16 months? I know I can't exactly do time outs yet, and redirection only goes so far. If one is hurting the other, then that has to stop immediately and they need to know it's wrong.

 

Sounds good to me! It's so hard for them to understand at this age, isn't it? You certainly didn't hurt her, and it sounds like she just needed a nap. i think you did the right thing.

 

You did the right thing! At that age, it is hard, but more and more, they will understand. Continue to tell them NO, explain why it is wrong, and use redirection just like you did. Looks like you followed it to a T. I've noticed with my kids, at the age they are at, it seems like more fighting occurs when they are tired or hungry.

 

Thanks. I just felt bad that I put her down for a nap while she was mid-tantrum, but since she fell asleep, that must have been what she needed.

 

I just wanted to add that I do not think it is wrong to do time-outs at this age. We started them at 11mths. You may need to keep putting them back there until they get the hang of it but the sooner they learn the better it will work in the future.

 

i think you did the right thing. i think you handled it well. I would say, when she's throwing a fit, tell her. "You are throwing a fit. No fits. You need to stop it." Then put her on a different couch or on the floor and walk away.

 

Definately not wrong. I stared timeouts around 16 mo or so they didn't quite get it at first and they were only there for seconds but soon it caught on.

 

It sounds to me like you did a good job. She needed to be removed from the situation and then, since she couldn't calm down, it was time for her nap and she went right to sleep.

 

Anytime that my girls throw a tantrum, they go straight to bed. Usually, they are really tired or need some time to themselves for a bit. I go back in to check on them after a while. They are either sleeping or happily playing in their cribs.

 

I think that if you end up with a good outcome (tantrum ends after a reasonable amount of time) then you did the right thing. You are re-playing the situation again and again because you were traumatized by it. She wasn't. A tantrum is an expression of frustration more than it is a behavioural issue. You need to help her to learn how to calm herself down without your help. She did this. Even if it wasn't nap time, I think that would have been the right thing to do.

 

I'm right there with you on this one. Mine have been doing the tantrums even if I just say "No" sternly to them. Morgan was standing in the oversized chair today and was attempting to sit on the arm of it. I was sitting in the chair with her while she was diong this. I said, "Morgan, NO, you have to sit in the chair." She left her foot dangle for a second, so I told her NO again and this time she totally lost it. Even the sitter said that yesterday a mom was picking up one of the kids and she needed to get Morgan out from in front of the door so the mom could come in. So, she took Morgan's arm and moved her to the side (didn't say anything to her or anything) and Morgan started in on a tantrum. I think it's toddler PMS or something

 

It sounds like you did the right thing to me. Being tired and not feeling good from a shot will make them act up and Mommy gave her just what she needed her crib.