Did DH stay with you in the hospital.....

When I had DS, DH stayed with me in the hospital. But when I had DD I sent him home at dinnertime so that DS's evenings and bedtime would be "normal". (Or as normal as possible without me there!) With both I had easy vaginal deliveries and didn't really "need" DH there all night.

With this pregnancy I'm torn. First of all, I could well end up with a c-section. If so will I need him at night to help with feedings, or are the nurses pretty helpful with that? Secondly, well, there will be two babies!

But, on the other hand, I hate turning DS and DD's world upside down by having them without Momma or Daddy 24/7 while I'm in the hospital. I would really like to come home from the hospital to happy and not (overly) clingy children!

For those of you who have been there, and especially if you have other children, what did you do? Will I need DH if I end up with a csection?

Thanks,
Jen

 

My DH went home after my CS. We do not have any children at home. He just went home to get a good nights rest. At night, I did not need any help. Unless it was to use the bathroom and I did that on my own. I was up walking around that afternoon and felt like I was back to normal within a week. I do not think that I am the norm though. I have heard lots of stories of women that had problems. I would think that your DH could go home with your children and you could stay there by yourself. Remember you only have a nurse a call away, and this is what they get paid for!!!!

 

My husband stayed with me after my c-section. Not because I needed him for anything, but the babies were in the NICU and neither of us wanted to leave them at that time. My older children stayed at my MIL's house for the two days I was in the hospital.

Could you possibly have a family member stay at your house with your older two so that their schedule isn't disrupted?

 

My DH went home but he visited me a lot. The nurses were very helpful and they love to help with the babies. The only thing I had trouble with was that I was in really bad pain (emergency c) and moving/walking made me sick for the first couple of days so I had family come babysit me in the hospital. :blush:

 

QUOTE(stacyw @ Jun 7 2007, 12:51 PM) [snapback]283474[/snapback]
Could you possibly have a family member stay at your house with your older two so that their schedule isn't disrupted?


I agree. My mom came and stayed with my older two. Dh would go home for a big chunck of time during the day then come to be with me and the babies. Not because I had a C-sec or becasue I asked him to but because he wanted to. He slept in the hospital with me with all the kids. He also brought the older two to the hospital to see all of us everyday.

My first question would be what does your dh WANT to do?

Not sure dh was very helpful in the middle of the night since i was breastfeeding but a little. The first night I still had my epidural in so he got the babies for me but after that it was more support than anything.

Personally, I'd play i tby ear. The best laid plans and all that.

 

We had planned for my DH to spend the nights at home, but I ended up with a C-section and wasn't sure how mobile I'd be and was BFing, so he ended up staying with me. It was the first time my DS spent the night anywhere else- but I think it was harder on me than him.

 

When the boys were born (DD isn't biologically his), he stayed with me the whole time. DD was 4 and stayed the night with MIL on a regular basis, so this wasn't really anything different. When I had Brandon though, I made him go home. I had never been away from the boys overnight at that point (still haven't), and I wasn't really comfortable with them not having some routine. I didn't have any c/s to deal with. As for help with the babies overnight, it really depends on the hospital and the night nurses you get while you are there. With DD the hospital didn't have a nursery at all. You were expected to room in with the baby. I had one really bad night that DD cried for about 15mins and I was dead asleep. The nurses kindly came in and took her without me realizing it when I didn't respond to them calling me on the intercom. They just took her to the nurses station for a little while. With the boys we had a really hard time getting them back from the nursery (different hospital). They would have to come and take them at certain times for testing and shift changes, then it would take forever to get them back. I tried to keep them in the room with me as much as possible, even overnight. By the time Brandon was born (same hospital as the boys), I learned a vaulable thing about the nursery... these people will take the baby overnight while you sleep and bring them by for feedings and then take them back. This was priceless for me. I got great overnight help. They brought me Brandon every 2hrs to nurse throughout the night, and when I was ready all I did was hit the button and they came and got him. They even made sure to time it so I could feed him right before 7am which is when they are required to be in the nursery for pedi evals. It was a wonderful delivery/recovery experience.

 

QUOTE(twoplustwo @ Jun 7 2007, 07:59 PM) [snapback]283488[/snapback]
My first question would be what does your dh WANT to do?


He is leaving it up to me. With DD he went home at my suggestion. This time he is open to either, but neither of us know how I will feel, of course, if I end up with a csection. I feel you on the play it by ear thing. I'm just trying to get some ideas from women who have had csections. Also, the hospital where I will deliver is about an hour from home, so I would like to have a "plan" so that he is not back and forth at crazy hours of the night or anything.

Also, my mom would be staying at my house with my older 2. They would be okay, but we've never left them like that before.

 

DH stayed with me both times I was in (with DS and the twins). With DS I wasn't able to see him the 1st 24 hours so DH was there to go back and forth to the nursery to check on DS. And with the girls everyone was afraid to have me left alone. DS stayed with my brother one night, my sister another night and with my mom the other 2 nights. I had a bad fever and a spinal leak. I got pretty sick and since Gretchyn wasn't in the same hospital they were all afraid of how I would be if I was left alone. I'm not in the norm though. All 3 of my kids had a lot of problems and so I needed a lot more comforting those first few days.

 

My hubby stayed with me day and night, it even got aggravating You shouldn't need help at night, because usually (it is your choice) they will keep them in the nursery at night, all night to let you heal and get rest. Mine stayed in the nursery at night, and were in our room during the day.

With this next one, DH will probably be there aggravating me again, because my mom will keep the boys for us.

 

My DH went home to put the finishing touches on the nursery and keep the house cleaned up. The three older DDs went with grandmas. We were in for 5 days DH stayed maybe 2 nights I think. The nurses were AWESOME at helping with everything but it was nice to have DH there when he could be. I think I would ask him to stay with you maybe.

 

With no other kids at home, and hospital just over a half hour from home, dh stayed with me. His 'bed' was not very comfortable, but we did have the twins in our room with us the entire time.

 

With my DD, I sent DH home at night, even though we didn't have other kids at home -- I just wanted him to get some sleep (and he had the flu!). I did fine -- didn't have a c-section.

This time, it depends -- if the babies come before I hit 37 weeks, then DD will be dropped off at a friend's house, so yes, I will send DH to get her and go home....I'd want to keep things as normal as possible for her. (She's exactly the same age as your son.) I imagine I can ask for as much help from the nurses as I need, c-section or not.

My mom is coming to stay on June 25, when I hit 37 weeks -- so if the babies come after that, then we'll just play it by ear, because DD will be at home with my mom. But, I suspect I might send DH home anyway....I doubt he'd get any sleep in the hospital on those hard little cots (he's 6'4"), and I want one of us to be well rested, at least...

 

When I had trent and ty he was with me the whole time, but with the twins he was there the first night and the second night he went home to stay with our older 2. I had the twins in the nursery that night. There was no way I could take care of them alone I could hardly walk much less move. My pelvis had been stretched to the limits so I had to use a walker for a couple of weeks.

 

No other children and mine went home and even worked the next day couple of days (I delivered on a Wed, he worked Thurs and Friday). We thought it would be best for him to use his time off after I was released from the hospital not while I had a full staff of nurses and grandparents to help.

 

He stayed. Slept on the floor in a sleeping bag the whole time we were there. Did the same thing when we had our dd 3 years ago. We live an hour from the hospital, so he just wanted to be there. His back was hurting, but he didn't complain much. My parents were keeping our dd.

 

My DH went home every night with my son, and one day he even worked (he had a new job, no personal time) and then came after he got out of work with my eldest.

I was fine and I had a c-section. I kept the babies in the nursery at night and during the day I had company almost every day. I had a lot of help from the nurses and I was up and getting around well the second day. This was my second c-section too.

Good luck! You are going to do great!

 

My nurses were wondeful!! DH was with DD in NICU at a bigger hospital, and I was at the smaller hospital with other DD. I only had one baby to feed at night but I'm sure the nurses would have been just as great with two!

 

We don't have any other children, but DH wasn't allowed to stay the night with me, ony until the time I delivered. I wish he could of been there for me at night. At our hospital he could only stay until 11pm and return at 8am. Our hospital doesn't have private recovery rooms.

 

Hey, I was just reading some of your posts to see how you were doing. I had Dh stay in the hospital with me but I could have just of easily not had him there. The nursery was great, I sent the boys back at night because I needed the rest, since these were our firsts DH needed all the time around them he could get so he was there alot. I would just send the babies to the nursery, take your pain meds if you have a c/s and snooze!!!!! By the way I saw your belly pics and you look fabulous Way to go.

If you do have a section, please take advantage of the time you have in the hospital and rest. I didn't I thought I had to be supermom and do everything and have the babies with me constantly and I felt terrible when I got home. It has taken me a while to recover because I just didn't take it easy at all. Good Luck with everything.

 

My dh stayed with me, but I didn't have kiddos at home. I think if I had another baby, I would have dh stay home with the kids at night. At night in the hospital you will be sleeping other than when the nurses come in to wake you to feed the babies or check you. You will have their help so you won't need dh.

Good luck with everything!

 

My hubby stayed one night, but we have a 4 year old so he hung out with him. My mom stayed with me the rest of the time. Truth be told I wanted her there rather than him, not because I don't love him, but moms know what to do. I was recovering from a c-section and had two babies. My mom is very organized and a take charge type who helped tremendously while I was in my weakened state. I had the babies go to the nursery at night so I could rest. I learned this from when I had my son. I wanted him in the room with me at all times. Trust me, let the nurses take them at night(it was easy for me because I couldn't breastfeed). Take advantage! It will not hurt you or the babies. You will not get much sleep at home, so get as much as you can in the hospital.

 

I had a singleton first and I asked my husband to stay with me and he didn't and it was hard - it was my first, I wasn't sure what to do and how to do it. The comfort would have helped.

With the twins I refused to stay in the hospital unless someone stayed overnight with me! It's stupid to stay in a hospital alone if you could go home and have at least one other person there if not more. So with that said, I had a helper each night. My husband stayed the first night, my mom the next, my cousin the next etc. Peolple love babies. If you ask around you can find a helper. To this day it is all my cousin talks about. (She was there for the birth too!)

 

these are our only children so hubby stayed the whole time. but i would have had a hard time with out him. That first evening i couldent even pull down my own underwere (sorry TMI) I guess i could have done it if i had to but i felt more comfortable with DH helping me in and out of the shower and drying off ect. I also tandam nursed so it was great for him to help me out. But i'm sure if he wasent there the nurses would have been.
My parents took my sisters son when she delivered her second baby and they brought him to the hospital everyday.

 

My DH stayed with me the whole time as well, but we did not have other children at home.

 

Paul stayed with me 24 hours a day at the hospital after both deliveries (and for the two days it took for Dax's induction). My mom and sister stayed with the girls during Dax's birth and they were perfectly fine. They just visited us for a few minutes at the hospital everyday.