Did DH dictate when you stopped breastfeeding or was it your decision?

I'm just curious about this b/c DH asked me last night how long I would be BF'ing.. I said I wasn't sure and would play it by ear.. He wanted me to stop when they turn 6 months and i said no, I had planned on at least a year and he said it was gross. It caused an argument and sparked my curiosity to see what others are doing and if You as the mom are deciding when to stop or if your DH's had a say. MY DH feels he has a say as to when I stop BF'ing the girls..

Input ladies??

 

My babies decided every time. XH had no objections, and later DH had no objections. Mine nursed for 9 months, 22 months and 27/27 months.

eta: Even if XH/DH had wanted me to stop at a certain time, I would not have unless the babies wanted to and I wanted to. That's a baby/mom decision, IMO.

 

Totally YOUR decision, not your DH.
We supplemented our boys with formula because of my DH though He kept saying that they were hungry after BFeeding. I later found out that he just wanted to be part of feeding the babies. He loved feeding them, I tell you, if this man could, he would have Bfed my children!

 

I bf my older DS until he was 28 months - my DH never tried to tell me it was time to stop. He would, every once in awhile, ask if I was going to still be bfing him when he was in kindergarten (he was mostly joking ).

I'm pumping for these two - and I will be done with that at 1-year - I can't stand the pump. And honestly, I think my DH hates the pump more than I do - but he is extremely supportive of my decision to pump for my babies and really appreciates the sacrifices I'm making to be attached to that stupid pump.

Honestly, it is a decision only for you and your babies. I don't think DH's really have any say in the matter.

 

My mom seemed to be the only one who had an opinion as to when I should stop breastfeeding. DH did ask about the time they turned a year, but he was very supportive when I 'mentioned' perhaps 18 months. I lasted until 26 months. My mom has kept her mouth shut.
There seems to be another issue here. Just because something may be 'perceived' as gross doesn't mean that it should be stopped. (Did that make any sense?) I'd throw all the information about breastfeeding to at least a year at him (benefits for children & momma). Good luck! :hug: I'm sorry that it caused an arguement and that he wants to to stop at 6 months.

 

If my DH had ever said that to me, I would have :rotflmbo: LMAO.

Not a freakin chance!


ETA: I nursed 12mths, 18 mths, 22 mths & the twins 2yr 8 mths.

 

My DH wants me to get my supply back...only because of the cost of formula I would still be breastfeeding but getting pregnant this time dropped my supply. I totally feel it should be your decision.

 

Umm....not sure what to say about your DH. I think I'd print out some articles that articulate exactly what it is your doing. Then, I'd tell him to grow-up (if he was my DH...I won't say that to yours). At one point when I was very frustrated in the beginning my DH tried to gently suggest I stop, but I told him that I needed his commitment to match or exceed mine and from that point on...it did.

 

My DH has always been supportive and left it up to me. He thinks it's best for his kids, cheaper and gets him out of having to watch thye babies since they are exclusively nursed. Haha!

 

DH was always
VERY supportive of me adn would never even have attempted to tell me when to stop. I beleive it is a baby/mom decision.

dd stopped at 12 months,
I stopped ds at 18 months (I think he would have nursed right up until college!)
dd & Ds and I all slowed down and stopped at 16 months. It sdeemed like a mutual decision although more mine than theirs.

Honestly, if my dh ever told me that bf'ing was gross I'd be very hurt and offended. (and even more determined to nurse longer)

 

My hubby tried to push weaning at 7 months because he thought that babies wean to adult food and cow's milk at that age. Pure ignorance. He changed his tune when I asked him why in the heck he wanted to spend money on formula. He then wanted me to wean at 12 months because that's what I'd told him the minimum was and they were going through an "only want mommy" phase which he blamed on nursing. He eventually accepted that the boys and I were deciding this one and he finally quit bugging me once they dropped their bedtime session (it was apparently very important to him that other people be able to put them to bed although he never verbalized this).

 

He never had a say in it, but I guess it was a non issue b/c all of mine had trouble latching and I had to pump, and since I had to return to work after 6 wks it didnt last much longer than that. (no excuse - I know I could've pumped at work if I really wanted to) If I was able to stay home, I would have done it a lot longer, at least 6 months if not a year.

 

i think my DH will start commenting if we're still going at 2 yrs, but i think he also likes the idea that BFing is free & feels as long as i'm happy & the girls are happy why not.

it sounds to me like maybe your DH doesn't know all the pros to BFing? also, what exactly does he think is "gross" about it? do you think it might be boob jealousy? i've heard that some men struggle with this - they're used to seeing their wife's breasts as sexual objects for them to play with, and when they have to "share" them with the babies they get a bit terratorial. anyway, just some of my thoughts - hopefully you guys can come up with a good solution that works for your family. GL!

 

My dh was NEVER supportive on me nursing. My dh was the same way as yours. It is hard when the most important person in your life doesn't support such a awesome thing. I managed to make it 17 months with the support of these ladies and these ladies only!

 

My DH was never very supportive either, and I also never understood it. It is so clearly best for mom and baby, not to mention cheaper and no freaking bottles to wash!! He would sabotage me and I know it was intentional - he was always giving them FF if wasn't "on-guard" to stop him and it even got to the point where he would run in to their room and try to get them without waking me up - and no he wasn't trying to be kind trying to let me sleep, he knew I wanted to get up and BF them. For him, I think he didn't like the dependence on Mommy. And he never ever wanted me to BF in front of anyone. It caused a big problem between us for awhile, which I have mostly let go. until tonight thanks Despite all that, I managed to BF, partially, until 9 mos. I would try a heart to heart, but I would hold my ground!!

 

My DH is very supportive of BFing, in general. He thinks it's best for the baby and that it's great I want to do it. He does usually have a hard time the first few months when pretty much all they want is Mom, and having twins and pumping some so he was more involved was really great. And though he's never said anything negative, I think he's always happy when the babies wean because it does change our sex life. My body/hormones are just different when I'm BFing. So babies and I are the ones who decide (15 mo, 22 mo, 23 mo & 32 mo), and he's supportive of it, but I know he'd sometimes want me to wean a little sooner.

 

I agree with pps that education is key. Maybe if your DH understands more about the PHENOMENAL benefits of BFing (babies AND toddlers, if you choose to go that far), he'll get off your case. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends BFing for the entire first year, and after that, as long as mom and baby/babies want. The World Health Organization recommends BFing for at least 2 yrs. If I weren't pressed for time right now, I'd dig up a whole truckload of links about this stuff...

At the end of the day, it is not his decision. It's up to you and the babies.

 

I'm actually with you. (in one sense...)

My DH is supportive of me bfing... to a point.
He also thinks that 6 months is enough. I guess it has something to do with the fact that DH "had them first" and is only "loaning" the twins to the twins. I think he wants to be able to think of my breasts as a sexual object again and can't do that so long as he feels he is "playing with the babies' dinner".

I have explained to him the benefits of bfing longer and he is (begrudgingly) willing to go along as long as I see fit. I do see what you are saying and yes, others do go through the same thing. Since these are our last children he is more willing to let me do what I want with them. I know he wishes I would stop after 6 months though.

I plan to reevaluate once their teeth come in any way. I would never tell him that though...
LOL

 

My dh was never supportive until I figured up the cost of formula and flat out told him if he got a second job, I would ocnsider quiting. I am planning to continue until W decides otherwise. I do get strange looks and even had my family dr try to get me to quit. I told him if he paid for the formula maybe. Not that I would quit for anything.

 

DH doesn't dictate anything, he knows he'll get much, much farther with me by not demanding, lol! I'd probably dig in my heels just for spite

But in regards to BFing, I think a lot of it is the education aspect of it. DH was supremely supportive until we were getting close to the 1 yr mark. He'd gone to the BFing class with me so knew all about the benefits (health, money, time, ease, money, etc) up till 1 year. They didn't really go into extended nursing in class so he didn't really see the benefit after that. I showed him some info that I'd found on Kellymom.com and said I'd like to try for at least 18 mo. He would ask every once and a while after that, but didn't really question anymore. And then the girls slowly started dropping feedings and by 17.5 mo were done.

Oh, and a little TMI, and I'm not sure if this is the same way for others or not, but even though my boobs aren't food machines anymore, both DH and I have a hard time thinking of them in the exact same way we did before :blush:

So if that's the motivation for him wanting them back, it may not be as easy as just stopping bfing!

 

My DH isn't particularly supportive and asks me every once in a while "how long are you going to do that" (so do his parents, for that matter, which I think is SOOOO none of their business), but I just give him the look of death and he shuts up.

I say it's a mommy, baby and pediatrician issue. I usually don't nurse for much longer than a year, though...I have the feeling that he'd put up a much bigger fuss if I were trying to nurse 2 year olds? At 6 months, babies are still, well...BABIES who aren't taking in much else by way of nutrition. I say why switch if there's no compelling reason?

 

Probably not the most PC of answers but I'd say screw him . Mainly for all the reasons already stated (better for mom, baby, money, etc.)

My DH ahs always been incredibly supportive (I think he brags that I'm EBF'ing twins He also likes how skinny I get while nursing.

 

My DH was very supportive and left it totally up to me. He actually seemed very proud of me--but did like to make fun of the process--the whole pumping bit was a bit strange to him and he liked to tease me about it.

I must admit, this is a first for me, I've never heard of a husband saying that he had a say in the whole BF'g business. You are a team and hopefully you two can work it out.

 

Let's see - just a rough estimate. Formula costs $24/can, and we were going through 2 cans/week at one point with the twins. That's $48/week x 52 weeks = $2496 for one year. Divide that up into however many months you want to get your point across to him. Formula IS NOT cheap, BM is FREE.

Ok, on that note, we bought store brand formula for $13/can and it worked just as well (I wasn't able to BF my twins) but he doesn't have to know there's a cheaper alternative out there. Formula costs money, and a lot, no matter how you look at it and how you try to make it cheaper..

 

I'm with Liesel on this one - If I were married to someone who thought it was his decision, based on a feeling of possessiveness, I would have to tell him to GROW UP!! How long will they be nursing, even under the most extreme circumstances?? And how long after that (and before that) does he get exclusive access? It's not that long!!

Breasts are actually FOR nursing and if babies didn't do it we wouldn't have them for him to play with!! And ditto another PP, it's really never the same again, so maybe he can spend a few more months getting his expectations in line with reality while you give your babies a physically and emotionally healthy start.

(Besides, do you ever wonder if some guys are like that because they were weaned to soon or too suddenly themselves? I know that's total psychogarbage, but one can't help but pose the question....)

 

My DH never stopped using them as his toys ( he always made sure i nursed before we had sex though). He thinks it's great and always was supportive of me. When my twins get here, he said i can nurse till two..then they can stop. So he supports extended feeding too, which is great.

 

My dh was supportive of my breastfeeding and never asked me when I was going to quit. Maybe he is jealous like pp stated. My dh would ask if he could touch them yet!

 

QUOTE(miss_bossy18 @ Nov 25 2008, 04:29 PM) [snapback]1086640[/snapback]
it sounds to me like maybe your DH doesn't know all the pros to BFing? also, what exactly does he think is "gross" about it? do you think it might be boob jealousy? i've heard that some men struggle with this - they're used to seeing their wife's breasts as sexual objects for them to play with, and when they have to "share" them with the babies they get a bit terratorial. anyway, just some of my thoughts - hopefully you guys can come up with a good solution that works for your family. GL!


I was thinking the same thing. Hope you and YH are able to work it out without too much tension! GL!

 

My dh knows better then to ask me a ?like that. But he came from a EBF family so he is just used to nursing how ever long.
Everyone around me knows that it is my baby's decision and thats it, don't question it and don't even give me a look about it.

 

Now that I am home and pumping he enjoys massaging them because they are engorged bad. He gets his play things and i get a massage out of the deal.