Did anyone else find this age to be more challenging?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by Buttercup1, Apr 3, 2010.

  1. Buttercup1

    Buttercup1 Well-Known Member

    The girls are going to be 3 in two months and they are really testing their limits with me and testing my patience. Today was the worst yet. This morning they woke up at the crack of dawn and started raising h3ll as soon as they were awake. Julia has discovered she can turn on the light switch in her room, there by waking up her sister. I heard them early in the morning, went in, put them back and bed, shut off the light and went back to bed for an hour. I came back and Dani had removed her pajamas and diaper and peed on the floor and the sheep skin rug. Julia had turned over the ottoman for the glider and was stuck in it. I got them up for breakfast and they were whining and crying the entire time. As I'm getting us ready to leave for the store, they let themselves out the back door and I find them running around in the backyard. We left for the grocery store and they are grabbing everything off the shelves. Went to a play date and they were relatively well behaved other than the whining when we left. More whining, crying and tantrums when we got home. The constant getting into things, rolling entire rolls of toilet paper off the rolls, squeezing tubes of toothpaste until empty, turning on the bathroom faucet and letting the water run, fighting with each other, hitting, throwing things, not listening, whining, crying and tantrums are driving me crazy and I feel like I'm constantly yelling at them. I'm sure it sounds like I'm not supervising them enough but I swear one distracts me so the other can get into trouble. I really hope this is phase and they grow out of it soon.
     
  2. ldrane

    ldrane Well-Known Member

    YES! By far, this stage is alot harder in ways than infanthood. I was just thinking this afternoon that our neighbors must think we beat them! One or the other was screaming, crying, throwing a fit, etc...CONSTANTLY all afternoon. They are either throwing a tantrum, crying because they just got hurt or fighting with each other (which usually means one of them is screaming at the top of their little lungs at the other one). It seems like it is non-stop! I feel your pain. :hug:
     
  3. fuchsiagroan

    fuchsiagroan Well-Known Member

    Trust me, it is not a problem with your supervision! They are just too much to keep up with sometimes. :hug:

    One thing that's helped me is making childproofing an extreme sport. I've actually installed little hook-and-eye locks up high on some doors in the house, including (especially!!!) the bathroom doors. They're not pretty, but it is just SO much easier when I can control access to the bathrooms. Otherwise they'd be running water and flushing toilets and demolishing toilet paper all day.

    Mine are definitely a lot more stubborn at this age too. Not listening is a big problem here. This is my strategy for dealing with it. "___, come put your shoes on." [ignore] "___, did I just ask you to do something?" [sometimes this works - if not:] "___, put your shoes on. 1...2...3." And if they don't do it by 3, I do it for them - a very effective consequence, because they hate that and want to do it themselves. For other behaviors, the consequence is a time out, or taking away an object they're doing dumb stuff to/with, etc. This is probably a variation of 123 Magic, though I haven't actually read it. I try to stay calm but firm, and above all NOT keep asking over and over. Give them a chance to listen, and if they blow it, IMMEDIATE consequences.

    Oh, and I should also add that some days my ears bleed from all the whining. :headbang:
     
  4. nurseandrea02

    nurseandrea02 Well-Known Member

    I HATE this age. I'd go back to infanthood in a heartbeat. These past few weeks with my boys have left me in tears at night on more than 1 occasion. In fact, I just posted about being at my breaking point with their mouths. I'm constantly hollering at them. ALL DAY LONG. I hate it. It gives ME a headache. But, half the time they can't hear me over each other unless I scream. Now that it's nice, our windows are open & I'm embarrassed. People must think I'm a horrible mother. And, most days, I feel the same way.
     
  5. fuchsiagroan

    fuchsiagroan Well-Known Member

    Oh, a couple more thoughts... Everyone says it, but it's always worth repeating: choose your battles. Sometime when you have a cool head and some peace and quiet, think hard about what behaviors are bothering you, and try to separate the ones that are just a nuisance from the ones that really matter. Whatever you can let slide, let slide for a while - so that you'll have more energy to be firm and consistent where it matters. If you have the energy to be really consistent on those things, they'll take you more seriously when you start setting limits on other things again.

    Also, make sure that you're using consequences that really matter to them. If they're not fazed by time out, you may need to get more creative.
     
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  6. Her Royal Jennyness

    Her Royal Jennyness Well-Known Member

    I'd much rather have babies again than toddler twins. :crazy: I cannot wait until they're teens. :rofl: :mellow:

    I have installed hook and eyes like Holly and it's made life much, much, much better. (Jordan's idea actually. He's much better at childproofing than me.) I'm sure my neighbors think I'm a neglectful mom because my children run outside naked or only partially dressed at least once a day. >_< I need a lock that locks from the inside of the doors I think sometimes.

    But for all you frazzled moms - mine are creeping up on 4 and it's getting way better. There are a lot less days that I feel like sending them to the zoo or pulling out my hair.
     
  7. heathertwins

    heathertwins Well-Known Member

    I still have a gated community at our house -- one reason is the baby (now 12 months) but I wasn't about to take the gates down. I've posted on here recently about my wild one, and then it caught onto my other "halo" child who mostly whines and cries like she has PMS. Mine are 2.5 yrs old. I guess it hits them at different times. Remember before when people said "double trouble" now I think YEAH YOU ARE RIGHT !!! HEHE


    Heather
     
  8. julie1+2

    julie1+2 Member

    WOW! I should have been coming to Twinstuff more often! Mine are g/g 4 yr olds- 5 in Oct. Man, can I relate and I'm glad I'm not the only pulling her hair out! My two are constantly whining, crying, hitting, biting, fighting all day long! I swear the neighbors think I beat them with all the crying! And it starts first thing in the morning! I know it will be a bad day when I am wishing for bed time at 9am!! At the park, they yell at each other, at the store they whine about what they must have even in the backyard I need to tell them to keep it down.

    And to add insult to injury, my neighbor (lady in her 60's) says to me over the fence,"your girls are putting their toys through the slats in the fence and if they dont stop, I will throw their toys in the trash." I'm mean...Really?? I apologized and told her that I have told them not to do that and she says "well, they don't listen!" Ugh. Lady, these are twins, double trouble. So I told her to go ahead, if thats what she has to do, throw the toys in the trash. She really must be an unhappy person to throw 4 yr old children toys away! I did tell her that this is only a small thing I am dealing with and she doesnt even want to know what goes on inside my house! Had to vent....thanks
     
  9. agolden

    agolden Well-Known Member

    Buttercup, it looks like our kids are exactly the same age. I was recently talking to a friend of mine and saying that they were sociopaths. They completely don't care if their actions hurt anybody else, they don't care about the consequences, they don't care how what the do affects others. Isn't that the definition of sociopathy? I don't get it because sometimes they are just dolls and this past weekend, it was a joy but I think it was because we were doing things that they just wanted to do. As soon as it is something that they don't want to do - forget it. Bedtime is so unpleasant. I let them do this extended ritual but now they fight everytime it is time to switch from one part of the ritual to the other (don't ask). I've given up trying to get them to eat at the table. I don't feed them elsewhere (though I must admit that I know feeding them when they are (s)trapped in their car seats works because they have fewer distractions) but I have stopped fighting with them to actually eat something. They may cry when I enforce a consequence (I take them out of the bath if they splash me - they love baths, I remove their toys if they can't share if they are throwing them) but they get over it so quickly and just go on, I find myself wishing they were more upset :rolleyes:

    If I didn't get a break from them when I went to work, I'd go insane. If you are a SAHM, find out a way to give yourself some time away from them. It's the only way to fly.
     
  10. DATJMom

    DATJMom Well-Known Member

    Oh yes, that age was the pits. I can say that they are just a couple of months shy of 3.5 and it has gotten better. Now, we still have our days. But at least they are consecutive like they were then. Hang in there. :hug:
     
  11. sghaley

    sghaley Well-Known Member

    Mine just turned 6 and I would say, hands down, 3 was the hardest year for all the reasons everyone mentioned. And people without twins don't seem to understand that it is exponentially harder, not just twice as hard. For example, in the OP...only one of the children probably thought to unroll the toilet paper, but you get two doing it. And that goes for all behaviors! I remember that age and can honestly report that it gets much better. As exhausting as it is, you do just have to be consistent and firm and find effective consequences. And I also agree, if you're a SAHM, find ways to take a break. I would have gone crazy if I was home all the time at that age. And they always seem to be better behaved for other people.
     
  12. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Me too!!

    I love this age for the curiousity and learning, but am totally HATING it for the ignoring.

    Alice, come here.
    Alice, come here.
    Alice. . .Alice. . .

    Since being more consistent (and quicker!) with 1-2-3 Magic, she's listening much more. I'm gonna cut it down to 1-2 Magic though, she knows when to get up and come over, right after I say two.

    When it's bedtime, now sometimes she says, "I want a time out" and I tell her, "No, we're doing (usually being carried to bed instead of getting to walk and get a book) right now."
     
  13. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    3 was very tough here too - mine are a month from 4 and I remarked to my mom and my DH the other day that the behavior is starting to get better...
     
  14. genagoodrow

    genagoodrow Well-Known Member

    Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

    Love that my girls can speak and think so much more. Love it when they get engaged with an activity or carry on a conversation. Can't stand the fighting to change clothes and get out the door, or get into bed, or god-forbid into a car seat.

    Ahhhhh!!!! And my girls are just 26 months. Expecting another 22 months of this. Not that I want to hurry time, but can they be four yet? Please?

    :grouphug:
     
  15. Buttercup1

    Buttercup1 Well-Known Member

    One of my girls actually like time outs! She sit there and sing about why she's there and when I try to take her out of time out she cries and screams that she wants more time out :80:

    I am not a SAHM, thankfully because I am sure I'd lose my mind if I were. SAHM's, I don't know how you do it! :bow2: Some days I dread coming home from work. I've recently considered moving out because my kids are driving me crazy.
     
  16. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    hahahahahaaaaa singing about them! Alice also tries to give Royce timeouts. I keep telling her that she's not an adult, so she doesn't get to dole out timeouts.

    :rotflmbo: Yes, work is my sanity. I look forward to coming to work, even if it does involve a 45 minute bus ride and a 35 minute subway ride each way.


    Edit: Not a 445 minute bus ride, a 45 minute bus ride!
     
  17. shelley79

    shelley79 Well-Known Member

    I am so glad that I read this post, I was beginning to think that I must be a horrible mom because my twins are so insane! I cringe to think that I have another year or more of this craziness. I just left my job and became a SAHM, so I am having that transition as well, and things are rough! I hope we all make it through this alive!
     
  18. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    hijack. . .

    Your daughter

    This is one of best pictures I've ever seen! The look of determination on her face, behind the goggles. . . :rotflmbo:
     
  19. shelley79

    shelley79 Well-Known Member

    LOL!! I know, I love that picture! She is such a doll.
     
  20. Becca34

    Becca34 Well-Known Member

    Right there with you guys, believe me. My two together are nuts.

    I'm too tired to even give examples, LOL, but often DH will call during the day, hear the noise in the background, and ask, "Are the children winning again?"


    Yep. They totally kick my arse every day.
     
  21. nurseandrea02

    nurseandrea02 Well-Known Member

    At this time, I definitely feel like I can't relate to other moms with kids this age that don't have twins. Before, I could at least TRY, but now...no way. There's something WAY different about twin toddlers TOGETHER. TOGETHER, they are indestructible! Separately, they're fun (most of the time)! So, to hear someone whine about their ONE almost 3 year old, I have little sympathy. It's KINDA like when they were newborns, but I think this is worse. I'd go back to twinfant days most days, but not always. It's a different kind of awful know, you KWIM? I find that if I get 1 on 1 time with them (ie where DH takes one & I have the other), things are SO much better. It's like they're soooo well behaved & soooo awesome solo! At least that time makes me cherish them again because some days, I don't really enjoy them & I HATE that. Thankfully there's usually 1 or 2 moments a day that I love on our bad days. Today is a good day. I really enjoy good days..they come so fear & far between now! And I hear it just gets worse. I still have 15 months til they're 4!!!!!
     
  22. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    Yep, I'm right there with all of you. Mine are 27 months, so from the sound of it, things are going to get worse before they get better! <_<

    It is just darnright hard to deal with two toddlers. I think what can even be more frustrating is that people seem to think surely by now, it must be easier - they walk, they talk, they "listen" to what we say, etc. Well, they also run away from us, tell us no, hit, bite, tackle, tease, take away toys, and imitate each other. They throw fits, scream every time we brush their teeth, tell them it is time to come inside, clean up, etc. etc. etc. Infants are a lot less emotionally demanding! These two wear my DH and I out!
     
  23. melissak

    melissak Well-Known Member

    Mine are 29 months and it is SOOOO SOOO SOOO hard. It's all I can do to make it through each day. Not only are they driving me crazy with all the fighting, whining, clinging, etc...but they are also not napping much anymore which leaves me with them basically 12 hrs straight everday. It's SO hard, harder then I ever imagined. I often think back to when they were super tiny and how hard I thought it was then. Right now, most days, I would trade how hard this age is for that and get less sleep...that's how hard it is.

    I do often envy mom's with one becasue I think what a cake walk it would be, how easy it would be to go and do things. Of course, I wouldn't trade having twins for anything but it's so challenging! Kudos to all of us! We will get through it and oneday when they are in school we will miss this time...right???!!! lol
     
  24. heybabalou

    heybabalou Well-Known Member

    Ugh, I am right there with you guys! My boys whine and fight all day. Their little sister is starting to learn some behaviors from them, too. It is all I can do to keep from parking them in front of the TV all day, LOL!
     
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