Dh Starting Affair

We have a busy life with 2 year old twin boys and 5 year old boy, it has not been easy as older brother is very jealouse and upset still over his new brothers. My husband travels alot and we do not have much help with looking after kids. DH has never really complimented me on my mothering but friends and family have. He actually has been quite mean sometimes. so I do not know why I am sad to find out that he is starting a relationship with an acquaintance of ours. She actually had us for dinner last week and is now after my husband. I have not confronted him , I do not know what to do. I am just very upset right now.I do not have alot of friends to talk to

 

So is he actually having an affair? I would definately confront him on this issue. I guess before you do that is your proof solid? I would hate to accuse him and then not have solid info. KWIM. I really sorry that you are going through this, thank god I have never been through anything like this, but just know I am hear if you need to talk. :hug99:

 

I am so sorry that you H is treating you this way(not very D right now). To know her I think makes it even harder. Would he go with you to therapy? Is it time for a trail seperation? Has this happened before? Is he willing to talk about it or does he act like he doesn't even know what you are talking about? Are there play groups for the kids or a twins mom's group that you could join so you could meet some people? Please keep us updated. You will be in my thoughts. :hug99:

 

:hug99: I am so sorry that you are going through this. I don't have any advice other than to tell you it is not your fault! You are not responsible for his poor choices or bad attitude. You only have control over your own actions and attitude. Stay strong, seek emotional and legal advice before you make any rash decisions. Give your boys extra hugs and kisses even when you don't feel like it. I'm sure they need it.

Kimberly

 

:hug99:

 

I think you need to talk to dh and find out what you really want to do. I'm sorry your going through this ........If you need someone to talk to PM me.

 

Wow, Im so sorry. I dont even know what to say. If it were me I would confront him about it. Again, I am very sorry.

 

If it were me, I would find some time when the kids could be watched by relatives and have a sit down talk. That way if it becomes heated at all, the kids are not around. I would then try to be rational and confront him. Sorry you are going through this.

 

QUOTE(twinsohmy @ Apr 5 2007, 01:28 PM) [snapback]206876[/snapback]
If it were me, I would find some time when the kids could be watched by relatives and have a sit down talk. That way if it becomes heated at all, the kids are not around. I would then try to be rational and confront him. Sorry you are going through this.



I think that's great advice to follow. :hug99:

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree with the advice from the PP
:hug99:

 

Thanks for the replies. I am not sure what I am going to do. We have not been getting along too well mostly on his part as his constant put downs on my mothering affects his personality and does not let him enjoy life.
I know this woman is very clever and had picked up on his vulnerability right now. I really do not trust her in that she is playing him a fool and is interested in our money only and he does not see it. Anyway it is a mess and I cannot believe this is my life.

 

What makes you suspect something is going on? Is it that he's not being very nice to you right now? Was he being too nice to this other woman? I don't have experience with infidelity so I'm no expert but I think you should have some clear signs before jumping to conclusions and you really need to talk to him. Your own feelings about your marriage could be affecting your perception.

 

I don't really know anything helpful to add, but wanted to say I'm sorry That must be so hurtful to you.

 

:hug99: I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree with pp's that you need to talk to him, but I'd make sure there is actually something going on with this other woman. You don't want to assume something and push him over that edge if he hasn't gone himself, KWIM?