So dh has mentioned a few times that he is worried about me...with the two boys(who will be 20 months old)...and the new baby. He's worried about me being home alone with them all day, with no help. He doesn't know how I am going to manage. Here's the thing...With the boys-I never worried/thought about how I was going to "survive." Whatever people wanted to call it! LOL! I never gave it any thought. Why? Because it is what it is and I just dealt with it. I didn't stress over it. I just did what I had to do-and we all survived. Granted-my boys were "easy" so that helped. Now-with the new baby...I haven't thought about how I am going to deal with having toddlers and a newborn. Why am I going to worry about something that is out of my control(I hope that makes sense)? I just do what I have to do to get through the day. I'm not the first mom to have toddler twins and an infant and I certainly won't be the last. I think I've done a relatively good job with the boys and getting them on a schedule, etc... all on my own. Am I being naive? LOL! I just don't stress. I go with the flow-that's the kind of person I am-laidback and whatever happens-happens. I don't know if I am looking for advice, same situations, or wondering if dh had a valid point! I just think I needed to get it down and possibly see what others had to say.
I'm like you, in how I deal w/ things. And it's worked with my family so far. People always say things like, "How can you homeschool w/ baby twins?" or "Oh my, 5 kids, I don't know how you do it." or "Oh, I could never handle having kids." Whatever. You just do it. And it works out and generally works out well! It's just not worth stressing over. Having a plan is good, but even the best laid plans don't always pan out, so then you just take it a day at a time and try to enjoy your life with these sweet children, and the joy of motherhood... even when some of the realities of illness or diapers or teething or lack of sleep or whatever it is at that point are making you just a little nuts.
That's really sweet of him to be so concerned. That'll come in handy when you have a hard day. I'm the same as you and Dielle. You just do it. It's worked best for me to get all my kids on the same nap schedule and bedtime. And to stick with a routine. We personally don't get out much during the day, well the backyard, but I'm not one to take them to the library or anything like that. That works for us and you'll find what works for you. I figure eventually when they are all out of diapers we'll be able to do more outside the house.
Whenever I would have a hard day with just the twins, dh would say "and you want another?" :angry: Evan has been just a joy. I don't get out much, but I don't normally. We go to mommy & me classes. Evan was just 5 days old when he went to school with the twins & I. It is like it has always been that way. Now we have our 'hard' days, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. You are lucky that you twins are 'easy!' Mine weren't.. especially with sleeping. It sounds as if you are going to do just fine!
QUOTE(JicJac @ Mar 21 2009, 09:25 PM) [snapback]1238734[/snapback] Whenever I would have a hard day with just the twins, dh would say "and you want another?" :angry: Evan has been just a joy. I don't get out much, but I don't normally. We go to mommy & me classes. Evan was just 5 days old when he went to school with the twins & I. It is like it has always been that way. Now we have our 'hard' days, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. You are lucky that you twins are 'easy!' Mine weren't.. especially with sleeping. It sounds as if you are going to do just fine! Oh yes! My dh says that ALL THE TIME! It drives me batty! Umm last time I checked...It took two of us to go to the doctor(seeing how we didn't do the tango )! Yep-if the boys are fussy, etc.. it's always, "You wanted another one!" "How are you going to handle this?" Blah, blah, blah... When he spends a week alone with the boys..heck-even ONE day...then we'll talk! Glad Evan has been such a joy! He is a cutie!
I have no advise but, I'll be in the same kind of situtation as yours my twins will be around 26 months when this baby comes. DH said to me"Well, you thought you had your hands full with these two now you really will with three!" I just laughed it off and said I'll take it one day at a time! Best of Luck to you & I'm glad you posted this Nadana
I think it is very thoughtful that your DH is concerned about you. Take advantage of it!! You never know if you will have an easy baby again. My boys were soooo difficult, and I really could have used more help. Hopefully you will have another laid back baby, but you never know. So maybe you can put your husband at ease by suggesting some ways he or others can help - ie. maybe he could make dinner one night a week when coming home from work, maybe he could hire a mommy's helper for a few hours a couple days a week, ect. By all means, take advantage of any help is willing to give!!
I haven't given much thought to how I will handle things. We pretty much have our schedule and do things on certain days, and I think we'll just keep on doing what we do for the most part. I'm really hoping the baby sleeps a lot at first like most newborns do, and we can get out and about. My biggest concern is actually being able to BF with the toddlers who always want attention. The only other hard part is that summers here are SO hot it will make things a little harder, and we won't be able to get ouside as much. We also started the twinks in one day a week mother's day out this spring, and will do it again fall..it is good for ALL of us, especially when the baby is here I'm sure. So glad you have a supportive DH, I'm lucky as well!
my dh just wants to know if we are going to have more !!!! Mine will be 17 months old when baby #3 is born and what I've heard from another mom in a similar situation was that she found one baby so much easier, especially it not being your first child and baby experience. I'm guessing I will just have to re-adjust my schedule to fit in this new bundle of joy. Sorry no advice since she hasn't arrived yet.... heather
I wish my husband were more concerned about this. He feels I'm very capable and always thinks I can handle more than I really can. I've asked him to take time off and do a reduced schedule after our next baby is born, but he never actually offered - I feel like he's doing it because I asked him to. I know I am going to need lots of help after our baby comes because last time around I had major breastfeeding issues, anxiety and PPD. I am NOT going to go through that again! Our boys will be 29 months when the new baby arrives. I am going to have paid help two days per week, my mother coming at least one or two afternoons, and I'm going to ask my husband to work short days. I think it's great your husband is worried about you - find a way for him to support you in a fashion that's comfortable for you.
