Dh is driving me nuts

He walks in after work like he is the injury police and god forbid someone have a scratch or be crying from a little head bump --- my gosh! Jack happened to hit his head on the stand up music and learn thing right befire DH walked in the door and you would've thought he was questioning me the way he reacted..."what happened, how did it happen, why is he bleeding (turns out he bit his tongue) etc...

Jack and LIly are 9 months old and he is like "don't talk while you are eating" which is completely ridiculous. We go out to dinner about 3 times a week (we are restaurant junkies) and tonight I was saying that we were in for a world of surprise once they started walking and would not sit in high chairs at the restaurant anymore. He was like "well, they will learn to sit when they eat" or something like that.

LOOSEN UP ALREADY!!!!!! Jack and Lily, especially, are free spirits of some sort and I would like to keep it that way!

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

QUOTE
Jack and LIly are 9 months old and he is like "don't talk while you are eating" which is completely ridiculous.


Um, yeah, good luck with that one!

I can totally see why you're frustrated! But at least your DH is really caring and involved. I'd rather have an uptight dad than an indifferent dad. Hopefully he'll learn to loosen up a bit in time.

 

My first thought was, has he had them on his own yet? Like on his own, you are out of the house for a few hours? My dh was never like what you are describing, but did have his own issues that irked me. Once I started leaving the house to go here and there and he had the girls all by himself his attitude drastically changed. Maybe it's time for you to dump and run!! :laughing:

 

Most guys just aren't wired to deal with or understand babies in a realistic manner. My husband's first response to ANY situation is "we should take him to the ER".

Sorry he is so uptight...I am trying to think of something funny to write to lighten your mood, but I am drawing a blank. I am sure he will loosen up. Hopefully, spending time with some free spirited babies will make him unclench his rear end.

 

QUOTE(benderboys @ Mar 6 2008, 12:44 AM) [snapback]654874[/snapback]
My husband's first response to ANY situation is "we should take him to the ER".


:rotflmbo: We must have married the same man!!!

 

My DH is somewhat the same. He's just crazy worried about our 2 year old at all times. He's going to have to lighten up before the twins are born, or he'll have a stroke. He lost Tristan a couple weeks ago. I was sleeping (I work nights). He screamed for me to "get downstairs now". He'd already run up the block to both corners screaming Tristan's name. Then came back into the house running around screaming his name. I came downstairs & said "Mike, just calm down". He was just freaking out. There was Tristan, sitting behind the couch (he knows he's not supposed to be there) with his eyes wide open. Mike saw him & picked him up. Immediately, Tristan started crying. He was scared that he was in trouble, I think. Mike hugged & kissed him & told him "You can't hide from your Daddy like that". I felt bad for the poor kid. I swear, I don't know what to do to calm him down. Like a pp said though, it's good that he's worried. I'd rather have a husband like that than one that doesn't seem to care!!

 

[SIZE=10pt]Yes I guess it's better that he's like that than the total opposite. He'll figure it out when he wastes enough breath saying "do this", "don't do that", "don't pick your nose" ,"don't play with your food", "don't talk with your mouth full", "don't point at people". :lol: [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]I would hate to here what he would have to say if he had seen the scene in my house yesterday! I put both babies in one crib and go in the kitchen to make bottles, when I come back both babies are laughing but there is blood all over the crib sheet and Jame's entire mouth was bloody :huh: . Who knows he must have hit his very sensitive gums on something.

I guess after being around our babies all day everyday, things roll off our backs a little easier.[/SIZE]

 

He may need a few days alone with just the babies. Maybe mom can go away for the weekend? A healthy dose of reality will do him good. I think it's funny to think of him telling the babies not to talk with their mouths open...cute idea.

 

I am laughing so hard at your DH right now. I remember thinking with our first that we would "teach" him how to sit and behave in a restaurant, and NEVER have one of those kids that *gasp* stood up in the booth! Once he hit around 18 months it was like all he!! broke loose. He would NOT sit in a restaurant, pitched fits constantly and was generally miserable to bring anywhere in public. We learned pretty quickly that it just wasn't worth the headache to take him out to restaurants during that phase. He outgrew it by age two, and is now a total delight to bring out. He chats up the servers, colors, sits still etc. My point is, sometimes you just have to lower your expectations so you're not so frustrated with them. Your DH may have to learn that the hard way. But like pp's have said--at least he is concerned!

Reyna

 

QUOTE(mrsfussypants @ Mar 6 2008, 11:02 AM) [snapback]655647[/snapback]
I am laughing so hard at your DH right now. I remember thinking with our first that we would "teach" him how to sit and behave in a restaurant, and NEVER have one of those kids that *gasp* stood up in the booth! Once he hit around 18 months it was like all he!! broke loose. He would NOT sit in a restaurant, pitched fits constantly and was generally miserable to bring anywhere in public. We learned pretty quickly that it just wasn't worth the headache to take him out to restaurants during that phase. He outgrew it by age two, and is now a total delight to bring out. He chats up the servers, colors, sits still etc. My point is, sometimes you just have to lower your expectations so you're not so frustrated with them. Your DH may have to learn that the hard way. But like pp's have said--at least he is concerned!

Reyna


Ditto this exactly.

One hard lesson I learned with parenthood the first time around is that babies and kids are little people, and you CANNOT CONTROL THEM. You can control your reactions to them, you can discipline, or you can do whatever you want -- but, their behavior doesn't come from you, it comes from them.

Um, yeah. I'm a lot more laid back this time around, LOL. Your DH will learn!

 

Reminds me of a famous short by W. Livingston Larned:

Father Forgets

I cried the first time I read this!

 

I agree with a couple of the pps, leave him alone with him. Jay use to pitch a fit if the dishes weren't done, laundry not folded, etc. Then I left him alone to get my hair done with one of my girlfriends and came back and Jay was in the recliner, hair a mess, not dressed yet, both boys sleeping on him, surrounded by bottles and dirty diapers and just laughed. He then promised not to yell at me anymore. lol
Shannon

 

QUOTE
Jay was in the recliner, hair a mess, not dressed yet, both boys sleeping on him, surrounded by bottles and dirty diapers and just laughed


:rofl:

 

QUOTE(Becca34 @ Mar 6 2008, 11:46 AM) [snapback]656021[/snapback]
Ditto this exactly.

One hard lesson I learned with parenthood the first time around is that babies and kids are little people, and you CANNOT CONTROL THEM. You can control your reactions to them, you can discipline, or you can do whatever you want -- but, their behavior doesn't come from you, it comes from them.

Um, yeah. I'm a lot more laid back this time around, LOL. Your DH will learn!

Exactly!

 

QUOTE(Overachiever @ Mar 6 2008, 12:49 PM) [snapback]656031[/snapback]
Reminds me of a famous short by W. Livingston Larned:

Father Forgets

I cried the first time I read this!

Thanks for posting this. It is awesome!

I agree, let him spend some quality (& quantity) time with them. My dh has high standards for his 2-year olds to act. I keep having to remind him that they are 2! Every time they get the sniffles "we should bring them in to the doctor." At least he cares! If one of them has a messy diaper that is a bit 'stuck' on, he claims that I didn't change them soon enough, even though the diaper was less than an hour old.

 

QUOTE(Overachiever @ Mar 6 2008, 01:49 PM) [snapback]656031[/snapback]
Reminds me of a famous short by W. Livingston Larned:

Father Forgets

I cried the first time I read this!


Thanks for posting this site. My DH expectations are a bit high sometimes for our oldest DS so I sent him that article. I love it b/c sometimes as parents we do forget that they are kids and that we need to have fun with them.

 

My DP was driving me up the wall in the same manner... until she spent 5 days as the primary caretaker while I recovered from surgery. All I did was nurse them and sleep (it was heaven, except for that whole pain thing!). I have to say that that brief period of time did wonders for ALL of our relationships-- hers with the kids AND hers with me. I highly recommend creating more situations where he is with them for longer periods of time-- ALONE.

Beyond that, I only have :hug99: and much sympathy to offer.