Developmental Differences

So my girls are 9 weeks old now (5 adjusted). Chana'le is great at tracking and focusing when you look at her and has smiled a few times. Mushka is making me extremely worried- she does not track and looks over your shoulder and won't make eye contact. I guess if you calculate from their adjusted age, Chana'le would be a bit ahead of the curve and Mushka a bit behind, but it still makes me very nervous. My plan is to keep an eye on it and bring it up at their 4 month appointment if it's still a problem, because I know it's not even a cause for concern until then, but of course I'm still worried- there are a couple of other things that are worrying me also- Mushka is extremely mellow- it seems like almost too mellow to me, her head is a strange shape (we are looking into scaphocephaly, apt tomorrow) and she still has the preemie look-pinched around the temples, features slightly too big for her face. And her cry is very strange, more of a yelp than an actual cry.

Is it only because I have two babies the same age to compare? Maybe I'm just looking for things because I'm already worried? Although I've worried about each of these things individually before tying them all together. Anyone else's twins have distinct developmental differences? Sorry for the brain dump, this has been bugging me for a few days now.

 

My two are so different as well. I've worried about it quite a few times, especially as Liara had siezures when she was born and the MRI wasn't positive. BUT at her specialist appointment at 5 months (4 1/2 adjusted), she came out tops! She is also my more mellow baby, yelps instead of crying and her head is a different shape, put down to her sleeping on her back plus she is still not rolling over! She also is a stare bear. Sierra on the other hand, does not focus on you hardly at all, cannot stay still hardly ever even when asleep and started rolling over at 3 months.

I try not to compare but it's hard not to, some days I don't even think about and other days, I'll be like... oh Liara just roll over please! lol...

 

It is pretty much impossible not to compare!
Who are you seeing for the head shape? You can often get a PT to come to the house to work on positioning for the head, neck stretches if needed and they will evaluate all play skills and development. There are companies that provide in home PT that can get started sooner than early intervention. You can check with your insurance company or call to the pediatric area of a local hospital and they should have some names for you.

They are still very young, try not to worry!

 

I would say try not to worry, because there's such a huge range of normal and it's so much easier to stress about differences when there are two to compare. That said, if you continue to see problems and that mommy voice in your head is nagging at you, make sure you follow up with your pedi and get the answers you need. My girls were (are) so different in size and everything. Sabrina wouldn't look at me, unless I put a blanket over our heads and blocked everything else out. I was worried that it was an early sign of autism. Then when she was about 4 months old, her eyes wigged out, bouncing all over the place. It was disturbing. My doctor first said that the things I was noticing were probably just normal differences in twins. After the eyes, he got on board. We saw a bazillion people, had a myriad of tests done and no one could really give me answers. But luckily most of her development was on track. She was just enough behind on a few things to qualify her for EI. She walked late and couldn't identify any colors but did pretty well other than that. It took a few years and me finally getting her into the head of ophthalmology at Children's, but now we know what the issue is... a genetic condition causing her to be legally blind, completely colorblind, and very sensitive to light. She's an itty bitty thing (was 2 1/2 lbs smaller than Sydney at birth and 18 lbs and 4 inches smaller now), but otherwise healthy and on track.

All that was more than you asked for, I guess. But yes, I can relate to big differences in my twins. I've met a few other twins that were very different in size or ability that had no real problems. They just developed differently like any other siblings might. If Trey and Adam had been twins, I would probably have been horrified at the differences. Trey didn't really talk til about 3, Adam talked before 1 and in complete paragraphs by 2. They're both healthy, bright, capable boys now.

 

I think because they are twins it is nearly impossible not to compare them but they are also individuals. Twinkler, My boys sound very similar to your girls! My boys are 4 months old and could not be more different and have been since day one. Jack is much more busy and has a scream like you wouldn't believe. Ryder is very mellow and has more of a whine than a scream or cry. I worry sometimes too because Jack seems to hit his developmental milestones a little sooner. He can already roll over from back to stomach and stomach to back and Ryder has yet to roll over at all. I have brought it up with my doctor and she has said to not compare them too much as they will do things in their own time.

 

I wouldn't worry just yet. One of my boys has always been the mellow one whereas his brother is more energetic and social. The social one started smiling first and now he is laughing too. One baby has the weird shaped head (we are starting to take him to physical therapy because he always looks to the left). They've always had very different cries. Someone told me that with her twins, one was always 2 weeks behind with everything. I don't know how early hers were born but mine were born 2.5wks early. They have always been similar in size/weight though. (They're fraternal)

 

My girls, who are ID, could not be more different in terms of development. Like most of the PPs said one hit hit the social milestones first and the other the physical ones. I was worried when they were young and posted something similar to this topic as the gap with their physical milestones just seemed to get bigger and bigger...for crawling one did it a month before the other and with rolling, one NEVER rolled from her back to her front. Even now one is talking a lot and the other is just starting to string 2 words together. It's so hard not to compare especially when they should be at the same stage at the same time, are parented the same and share DNA, lol, but as you learn who they are it will make more sense . I will say that when it came to walking my physically "weaker" twin closed the gap and they both started the same week (fun for me ).

Like another PP said related to the possible medical issues, trust your gut...you're their mom and you know best, always .

 

Thank you for the reassurance everyone, it's really helpful to hear your experiences! I am going to hang tight until their 4 month checkup (my pedi does 2 month and then 4 month)and try hard not to worry (as if lol) and see if I am still concerned then. From what I've read online, none of this is technically of concern until they hit 4 months. It's so hard, I know if I had only one baby I probably wouldn't be worried because I would have no one to compare her too (and she would be only around 5 weeks old), but because there's two, everything seems different.

We went to the craniofacial specialist today for followup after xrays and everything looked normal thank G-d, but we have a followup followup in a month from now just to double check. Now if only she would look me in the eye for a few seconds!!

 

The same with us as others, ours are opposites at 10 months. Addalyn is a ahead of the curve rolling at 4 months crawling at 5, walking at 8 but Archer has been two months behind, same thing early on with the smiles head/neck control early on. We had a 1 lb diff but delivered at 37 weeks. Good luck I am sure all is well