development @ 2 months

I am having a hard time with my thoughts and emotions. I feel really guilty when I put the babies down even if it is to feed the other one. I feel like I am not doing enough to help them develop and learn. I am just so busy and there is always so much to do around the house. For example right now I am trying to multi task by feeding Seth while on TS and Hannah is in the swing...but she is wide awake. I know they are still very small but shouldn't I play with them and talk to them while they are awake. It is so hard to juggle both of their needs...when they are both settled I just want to relax. Is this normal? Is their anything special I should try to do with them?

I would love some advice from you experienced moms out there. I want to enjoy this time and make the most of it!

 

:hug: Momma! First of all, it is impossible to be holding two babies all day and be able to get anything done. Don't beat yourself up over it, nothing bad is going to happen to them to lay unattended for a few minutes. It sounds like you are doing a great job!

 

It sounds like you have a classic case of twin mommy guilt. We all get it from time to time, and I am sorry to say it doesn't go away. It sounds like you are doing a great job. You deserve to relax and babies do some of their best learning while exploring on their own. Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

Playing with them is great but it has to be balanced with letting them play on their own, too. Like pp said, babies do some of their best learning while exploring on their own. And don't feel guilty, being a mom of twins is no easy job, but what they lack in Mommy's attention will be made up for by having their very own built in best friend to play with! :hug:

 

I really could have written that post when my little ones were 2 months. It is hard, but know that they are probably pretty darn happy in a swing or bouncy chair and isn't that all that matters? If you feel really guilty, put them on their belly for tummy time and you can check off the box for "education". Talking and singing is great, but right now they need you to be your best so do whatever makes you happy (and rested). Big hugs! The first few months are tough, but you CAN do it!

 

I agree with PPs that independent play is sooo important, and I believe it can lead to self-sufficient children. My SIL's firstborn barely touched the ground during his first year because someone was holding him 24x7. He was late to walk and is now so fearful of everything that he can't even watch television without crying because he's afraid of it!!

I think there are some important development activities that don't involve one-on-one time like tummy-time and just talking to them. You don't need to be holding a baby to narrate what you're doing. I would set both boys in their bouncers and touch their hands, feet, noses, etc. while saying the words. I would lay them on a towel on the floor with bright toys in front of them to encourage them to hold their heads up. Sometimes it's enough to just let them explore a toy while you sit on the couch and rest for a few.

There's always going to be mommy guilt involved with twins (heck, with any children!), but you do your best and set your LO's up for good habits later on.

Having twins is hard, and you're doing a great job!

 

twin mommy guilt! been there!

here's the good news:

1) what you're feeling is totally normal. you're in good company here!

2) you're doing fine. they're doing fine. this period of your life will go by in a flash and when you're sitting there at 6 months you'll look back at 2 months and realize you were doing fine! for me, it's become one of those "i wish i hadn't worried so much about..." issues. just enjoy them and care for them and love them as best you can, and try to worry less about all the compromises you have to make when you have two babies to care for. you really are doing fine and it's okay if you can't hold them both at once or if you can't keep up a running stream of entertainment and conversation with them. try to focus on what you can do, not what you can't.

 

Big :hug: to you! Sorry your feeling so torn but i can assure you that we have all battled those emotions, i still do somedays! I agree with all pps, independant play is just as important as being cuddled all day, it's ok for them to be awake and take in there new home! I spent alot of my time singing in the early days, it really helped to keep the peace when one or both of them got fussy! Good luck i hope things settle down for you soon.

 

You are not alone, I felt and sometimes still feel the same way. Someone told me that soon you won't be able to sit down, as you will be chasing them around... so I enjoy it now. I try to remind myself that. Another thing I was told is to remember to take care of me. A friend said, it's like when you are on an airplane, you give yourself the oxygen first and then them, because if you didn't, noone would be able to take care of them! You are doing great. You love them, they love you, and don't feel guilty about anything, and if you ever need to talk, this is the place! Hugs! :hug: