desperate need of help - habitual 4am wake ups!

You were all so helpful with my nap dilemma so I am hoping that someone will have some insight as to why my DS is waking up at 4:04am EVERY night. He is not hungry, as I've usually just given an oz watered down with 3oz water and it usually settles him. But, it takes me almost an hour to settle him to the point where he will fall asleep on his own, and the DD normally stirs around 6am...so I am losing 3 hours of sleep as we get up at 7am and I never really get back to sleep after DS wakes at 4am.

They normally get a dreamfeed between 10-11pm and they both down about 7oz. I have tried doing it at 10, 10:30 and 11pm with the same result. Do you think I should skip the dreamfeed with him to see what happens? He eats very well during the day, 4 7-8oz bottles with 1tbsp oatmeal and 1tbsp rice w/2 tbsp veggie.

I think I would rather try skipping the dreamfeed to see if he wakes up say around 2 and give him a full bottle then so he will hopefully go right back to sleep and then I would at least get some more sleep. I am so tired and find it hard to nap during the day because they nap at different times (I am working on this!).

For my sanity, is there anything else I can do to help him not wake up (wide awake I might add) at 4am?

a big TIA!!!!

 

No advice just I didn't have sleeping that good unitl they were 6 mos old!! GOOD LUCK!

 

Dream feeds didn't work with any of my boys. It caused them to wake more often and sooner than if I left them alone. With the twins, we were waking them at 10ish to feed before we went to bed and ds would wake at 3am. This was at about 6 wks old so we were still waking the other if one woke. One night I was too tired to stay up til 10 so we just went to bed at 8 after the other kids and waited for them to wake us. They went til 3am anyway! By 12 weeks they were going til 6:30am. I say skip the dreamfeed for a night or two and see what happens!

 

Could you try not feeding him at 4 am and letting him cry and see if he can go until at least 5:00. Maybe he is waking up out of habit rather then hunger. It also seems that he is getting plently of food during the day.Around that age, we fed them one bottle after their 7:00 bottle and then that was it until 7:00am. THey cried for a few days. When they would wake at 6:00, i noticed they would smile and that was a sign to me that they were not starving and were able to wait until 7:00. Mine were eating out of habit.

 

It's definetly out of habit, but if I let him cry then DD wakes up to and then it's chaos. DH doesn't get up for night wakings because of work so it is just me.

I am in desperate need of some sleep so I think tonight I am going to skip the dream feed and see what happens. If that doesn't work then I will try letting him CIO (although it's not crying it's just fussing). If I feed him a full bottle at 4 then he does not eat his breakfast at 7am properly and it ruins the whole day.

The only thing I could try is a baby whisperer technique called wake to sleep where you set your alarm for an hour earlier than they would wake and go in and disturb them enough where they have to get back to solid sleep and hopefully that will disrupt their sleep patterns. You have to do this for at least 3 nights, so it is a last resort!

I wish babies came with a book! lol!

 

I am in your same boat....my dd wakes at 3:30am every night and wakes my ds up everytime?! Finally last week, I let her talk it out - she just babbles so loudly...She goes back to sleep by herself now after I let her alone. Then, if she wakes again around 5am, I just feed her and she makes it until about 7am. Hope that helps. These babies are funny, aren't they!?

jen

 

quote:
If I feed him a full bottle at 4 then he does not eat his breakfast at 7am properly and it ruins the whole day.



this is why we had to change our night routine. THey were eating too much at night and then would just snack during the day. THis is also when we went to a 4 hour eating schedule. It was amazing to see what it was like for a baby to be truly hungry and want all of their bottles!

I just saw that in the baby whiperer book- Good luck. Keep me posted. I hope it works for you.

 

I feel for you! I don't have any advice, but will be watching this tread for wisdom from you experienced moms!

 

quote:
For my sanity, is there anything else I can do to help him not wake up (wide awake I might add) at 4am?


Yes, but what I have to say can be habit forming... and hard to break later on... I did it with Jackie who also woke a lot...

WHEN he did, I just put him in bed with us... like you said, it was for my sanity... but hey, he went RIGHT back to sleep and we all slept until the next morning...

 

I would not let a 4 month old cry it out. Although if, as you say, it's just fussing, you might let him fuss for a while -- like 15 minutes or so. Could you separate them just for a week or so, so he doesn't wake up your DD while you are experimenting?

Babies can continue to need night feedings until 9 months (or even later), and I wouldn't be so sure he isn't hungry.

What happens if you give him a 1/2 bottle rather than just an ounce mixed with water? It may be that it makes him feel better to have something in his stomach, which is why you think he's not hungry, but if it's taking him a long time to fall back to sleep, he might actually need more.

On a side note, the argument that DH doesn't get up at night because of work never washes with me. You work during the day as hard as he does, I bet. The only time I would agree with that argument is if he's doing something truly dangerous, like operating heavy equipment, and needs to be 100% alert. (But that's a rant for another time.)

 

quote:
On a side note, the argument that DH doesn't get up at night because of work never washes with me. You work during the day as hard as he does, I bet. The only time I would agree with that argument is if he's doing something truly dangerous, like operating heavy equipment, and needs to be 100% alert. (But that's a rant for another time.)


I have been a firm believer in this and my husband has gotten up with me all along. He works VERY long hours too!

 

We still have the 4 am wakeups too and I don't know what to tell you to stop it. We usually just feed the one that gets up and put them back to sleep. Sorry, I wish I could give better advice here.

 

I just posted about this a few days ago. My DD is waking at 4 a.m. and cooing and playing. Isn't it funny that they are doing this at the same time? I hope you get some more responses because all I have found that works well is putting her in bed with me and I know that is not a real solution. Last night I turned off their nite light in hopes that she won't be able to see her mobil as well (that is what she is cooing to). We'll see how it goes tonight. I agree that you should experiment and drop the dream feed. Keep us posted.

 

Well, last night I didn't give DS his dreamfeed to see what time he would wake up for a bottle....he woke at 4:20am, so about 15 mins later than he would have if he had the dreamfeed. But, he downed 8oz and went right back to sleep! I still didn't sleep that well because I couldn't get back to sleep and DD woke at 5am & 6am for a dummy.

So, I am thinking that I would just go back to when they were newborns and feeding them when they are hungry instead of doing the dreamfeed...that way they can wean themselves from the nightfeed. It also means I can go to bed earlier without worrying about doing the dreamfeed (DH usually helps with this though).

At least I know he doesn't really need that dreamfeed..I didn't think he did as he eats so well during the day.

I will keep you posted over the next few nights, I feel like a scientist with all these experiments!

 

My DDs are doing this, too, Jordan more than Mackenzie. They cat nap all day (sometimes taking turns), with (maybe) one good, long nap. (I wish they would take 2 long naps instead of the 30-40 min. ones) Then like clock work, btw 3:30 & 4 am, the witching hour starts. I refuse to feed them for fear of them "forgetting" to sleep thru the night. We do the binky game. We take turns going in, giving them the bink (trying not to be seen) and "ssshhhing" till they calm down. It usually works. If it doesn't, DH will bring the troublemaker in bed with us. I don't want them to get into that habit, either. And they don't always go back to sleep in our bed. Sometimes they just get more awake Good luck. It sounds like this is the 4 - 5 month phase!