demanding independence

it started at mealtime. my girls just won't eat lately. i figured they are in a picky stage. but then if i give ivana a fork, she'll start eating. (she can't get her food on the fork yet, i have to help). then marina follows. they also want to...
change their own diapers (no, they don't know how lol)
apply their own butt cream (can't)
walk up the stairs like adults, holding on to the railing (can, until they look back and almost fall backwards)
walk down the stairs like adults (omg can't)
get into their own highchairs (scarily enough can)
drink from regular cups (if there's a DROP of water in there only)
not hold my hands as much when out walking (thank God for harnesses)
brush their own teeth (only allowed AFTER i've brushed tem)


does this get more intense as they get older? i don't want to hold them back from anything, but some things are still a little dangerous for them (going down the stairs like big people) ...

also... should i maybe get some potty chairs this summer?

 

Danielle, your girls must have been talking to my twosome. They are going through the same thing.
Mine also want to feed themselves, they can feed themselves from the fork and spoon but I have to put the food on there first.
They don't want to change their own diapers but they will give me all the supplies to change their diapers.
Also walk up/down stairs like adults but they get annoyed because they have to go with us, I will not let them do it themselves.
Drink from regular cups and get annoyed when we don't give them a cup to drink from.
They don't want my help brushing their teeth, they do it on their own
I try to explain to them that there are some things that they need an adults help with and they are getting more patient with that. I don't know if it gets worse before it gets better or not. We are planning to buy potty chairs at least to introduce the concept of their own potties but I am going to wait for them to be more interested in actually using it before we start potty training. Good luck!

 

Some things that worked for me:

Learn to pass the buck. You must help them brush not because they can't do it but rather because the dentist says so.

Let them do as much as they possibly can for themselves (even if it means meal times get long for a while).

Give them household chores to do -- a wet washcloth to clean the tub, a small trash can to carry and dump in the big one, putting their toys away... and praise them for being such big girls!

ETA: I'd get the potty chairs now and tell them that you won't have to change their diapers anymore when they can use the big girl potty. My very independent boys trained early with this tactic.

 

Oh the fun is just starting. I do let my girls climb into their own chairs as long as I'm there... they've learned to wait. They do brush their own teeth first and then I finish up. They use utensils... somedays are better than others. One wants to put her own cream on and diaper, but I've told her mommy needs to do it. There was screaming at first, but not as much now. I would pick your battles. You want them to be independent so get them involved. Even if they can't put their own shoes on, they can go get their shoes and coat before you leave the house. Etc etc. GL!

 

We are dealing with all of these. I have found that the more I make them FEEL validated for their desires and in control, the better everything goes. I may distract them with a chance to do something they CAN do while I do whatever it was they originally wanted to do. This doesn't always work or apply, but when it does, I seize the opportunity! They definitely keep me on my feet and really challenge my creativity.

 

Your girls have always seemed very advanced for their age, from what you post on here. I bet you could get some potty chairs this summer.