DD driving me nuts

DD started crawling on Monday (she´s 13.5 months old. Along with this feat came some major tantrums, screaming, kicking and I was stunned to see this. I thought she would be happier but seemingly she is not!

What she really wants to do is walk but she isn´t ready and needs me to hold her hands and walk everywhere. Being alone with twins, however, does not make this possible all the time so she will start whining and crying for my attention. She can work herself up into quite a hysteria and nothing will calm her unless I do something. Putting her in her cot helps her to calm down but we are soon back to the demanding again once she is up again. Everywhere I go, she follows or cries for me (more the latter). If I´m with DS she gets ´mad´ too. DS is almost walking and independent so he is,
at least, the chilled out baby for now!

I realise part of her behaviour is frustration and she started crawling because I refused to help her all the time. She can´t pull to standing yet or get to sitting alone but can do the rest (roll, sit on knees, etc). She is also a baby that needs reassurance and encouragement to do things.

Help! I realise this is a phase (I sure hope it is!) but I would welcome your advice as to how to handle her. It´s starting to stress me out and I dont want her realising she has the control over everything (she´s remarkably smart!). When she has a tantrum, I sit her down & walk away (about a meter or 2) but stay in sight & keep an eye on her. It worked and she stopped screaming though she turned her back on me x2 as she wasn´t happy with me! Am I doing the right thing by leaving her to work it out, or should I be with her during these tough times? Oh & she´s also started to be aggressive towards her brother when he is in her way.

TIA

 

I don't think you are do anything wrong by walking away and letting her work it out. I think as long as she is in a safe place, then let her go. I have tried to talk mine through a tantrum, but I can honestly say with my DD it works out better just letting her work it out and then going back to her once she has calmed down. The tantrums don't seem to last as long. Tantrums aren't as fun if you don't have an audience....or at least I've been told.

As far as the frustration DD has by not being able to walk.... Mine were both pretty late walkers. However, my DS started walking about 4 months before DD. She would get frustrated sometimes, but when I could, I would let her do it on her own. I would encourage cruising by placing furniture close together. That allowed her some independence and freedom. I think they have to try on their own or they will never get it especially if you are always there to do it for them.

 

I would help her learn to pull up to standing so she can cruise and she'll probably be a lot happier. You could probably go to physical therapy to get ideas/techniques as to how to help her progress her standing activities. Encourage her to crawl to a coffee table and help her reach up to hold on to the edge and assist her in pulling herself up and getting her feet underneith her. Good luck!

 

Thanks for your advice, girls. DD can cruise, and well. She is on her feet for most of her waking hours too. She walks with the baby walker practically alone too. It´s incredible how she´s suddenly learned all of this in such a short time! (Probably part of her frustration as she´s in a hurry!!). I think once we lower her crib, she´ll learn to pull herself to standing and learn how to sit. That´s how DS learned.

Thanks again for your replies. Also, it´s good to hear others who have gone through the same thing and that what Im doing is OK!

 

babies always peak with separation anxiety just before they start walking. She just needs reassurance that you will always be there now that she can move "away from the nest" on her own. It's all natural development stuff and if you want it to end more quickly, the best thing you can do is to just hang with her, be there and be "present" for her. let the chores be done later. if you can reassure her more readily she will definitely get through this phase more quickly. (that's my experience) and It was much easier with my twins than with my singleton (after the twins)

Teri

 

My one twin had separation anxiety on and off at various stages. I agree with the pp and it seemed like if I just road it out, and would give her a little extra attention and support she would eventually get over it. Sometimes it did seem like it lasted a month but as soon as she got walking she was off and never looking back for me. Now when I go to a new play center or park she is the first one wanting to go go go and doesnt' need anyone to hold her hand (our new struggle). It is VERY trying on the mother though during the anxiety times. You worry they will NEVER get over it and you will NEVER be able to leave the room. I remember posting on here about the same thing someone posted back saying something similar to the pp (previous post) and that was that children need to often return to the circle of support of the mother to build up the strength to venture outside that circle and try new things. At that often they come back to that circle at various times in their lives to re-gain support. (they wrote it much more eliquently than I just did....)

Heather

 

Heather & Teri: thank you for your imput. That´s a very interesting point you both made as DS is very clingy at the moment and he is on the point of walking. DD´s just learned to crawl, do you think it´s possible she wants to walk so soon? She has just started to walk with the baby walker but needs me there as she isnt so steady on her feet. She pulled to standing and sat down in her crib today so I guess she´s just going through the motions in a short space of time and its more frustrating. DS took longer so it wasnt so intense. Thanks again!